Jeff Holland

juno. stump @juno.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:36 UTC

have you all heard of THE RADIUM GIRLS? if you haven’t, go look that up because any post i try to do won’t be enough and will get suppressed. come back when you’re done looking up THE RADIUM GIRLS okay. you done? cool. okay so Clarence Thomas wants to get rid of OSHA

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:51 UTC

So the implication here is the British Army, in exchange for Indy breaking up this child slavery ring they seemed to already know about, let Indy head back to the palace for his jacket Now…that 100% sounds like something I’d try for a coat I really really like but I would assume I would be denied

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:46 UTC

Coming up on the end I don’t exactly know how to parse it historically but I am pretty sure the day is ultimately saved by British Colonialism But what’s killing me here in the last couple minutes of Hero’s Return is Indy is wearing his jacket

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:41 UTC

Also all the folks who get hung up on how if Indy stayed home RAIDERS still happens the same, y’all notice if Short Round didn’t have Indy and Willy actively fucking things up at every turn, little dude could’ve wrapped this adventure up in half the time? Indy provides upper body strength AT BEST

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:36 UTC

Someone said this movie willed the PG13 rating into existence (w/GREMLINS) but nowhere is it more evident that Spielberg could not nail down a tone than when he followed a whole scene of CHILD SLAVES GETTING WHIPPED, with a henchman getting hit in the head with a hammer and it making a BONK noise

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:32 UTC

Also there is the fact that bc all of this is shot on soundstages when we’re already used to the primary visual of an Indiana Jones movie being outside, all these sets look cheap as hell even though it probably was more expensive

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:29 UTC

You the audience are however not about to stick up for Willy bc she is just the fucking worst Like they went in thinking “What’s the opposite love interest to Marion Ravenwood” and got to “Oh just a shrieking, xenophobic, gold digging incompetent with absolutely no on-screen chemistry with anyone”

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:25 UTC

Indy and Willy don’t have “flirty banter” or anything, she’s just an asshole Indy kidnaps, threatens and ignores, literally yells at to shut up but also expects sex on account of getting her food she can actually eat (a thing he could have done at any time) then gets mad when she makes it a hassle

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:22 UTC

So just watched TEMPLE OF DOOM for the first time I’m gonna guess in 16 years at least and I noticed some stuff, starting with: we all got so caught up pointing out all the racist tropes that we kinda let all the misogyny slide right by

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 18:39 UTC

Yeah that is a neat little game - I didn't do great at it bc my fingers are just not really built for side-scrollers but it has a real cool vibe I'd recommend in the same vein NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, where a future you is immediately kidnapped by giant crabs and you have to rescue him with a rocket gun

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:41 UTC

Hey what kind of sandwiches? "ehm er ah um ehr ah the uh bread ones"

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:39 UTC

No I like that Obi-Wan was like "I like this greeting, I'm gonna make it My Thing" All the other Tattoiners see him and go "oh boy here comes Mr. Hello There!"

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:34 UTC

Where are our valiant internet amateur editors? What's the guy who made that really good 3hr cut of The Hobbit trilogy doing, we need him more than ever

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:31 UTC

Manny Jacinto, Cool Sexy Death Monk, first guy in Star Wars to go "Hey you ever think it's sort of juvenile and silly that we refer to this vast cosmic connective power as something reductive as 'light' and 'dark'? I dunno, maybe that's just me. Anyway, here are all of my smooth round muscles"

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:29 UTC

I still think the pacing of THE ACOLYTE is frustratingly "a 2hr movie spread really thinly among 8 eps)" - and man last night was a lot of "and now to tell you my terrible secr - oh, sorry, our time is up!" but I'm also pretty sure all of this is worth it for Manny Jacinto, Cool Sexy Death Monk

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 21:34 UTC

Oh no I read this to my wife and it turns out I have a really good “Posh British lady narrator” voice

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 20:14 UTC

My friends and I have been having a good time with this absolute bugnuts story, I'm retweeting so I am sure I can find it later and also just some A+ comments here, good work everyone

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 20:11 UTC

"'We wrote up a list and 95 of the 100 porns is cross-dressing men savaging women in bathrooms,' she said. In a terrible misstep, I said 'Dunno, seems like a lot of it's focused on horny stepmums' and she yelled 'MRS. DOUBTFIRE, EXACTLY, I REST MY CASE!' and threw her wine glass into the fireplace"

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 20:03 UTC

"I cannot overstate how little he wanted to talk about this" I love how the extended version makes it even clearer that she had cornered this one poor guy at a dinner party and he was just desperately trying to exit the conversation without upsetting The Fucking Harry Potter Lady

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 18:10 UTC

A friend of mine returning from a trip to Ireland posted "The pilots of Aer Lingus are striking" and my first thought was "Ooh, let's get some pictures of these attractive Irish pilots"

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Jeff Holland @jkholland.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 22:47 UTC

“A blurple” YOU ARE FROM THE TINY BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER OF NEW MEXICO

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