Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor

@ojaimayor.bsky.social

72 followers 163 following 212 posts

I used to be the mayor. They/The Mayor

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 05:00 UTC

Are you going to hide in your room like a groundhog?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 04:45 UTC

Listen last night. You ever drink too many, you have a chili con carne, and then you cook up this nightmare

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 20:34 UTC

An insomnialier who recommends the perfect worries for keeping you up at night

1 replies 29 reposts 75 likes

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The Bean Institute @thebeaninstitute.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 11:35 UTC

we are back with some beans for you; New Mexican Appaloosa Pole Bean, Tiger’s Eye Bush Bean, Calypso / Wolverine, Purple Negreta Fava Bean. coming next week, top 10 cringe bean puns for conversational boomers and some suggestions on how to indoctrinate the youth with bean positivity

0 replies 7 reposts 34 likes

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Crypt໐-Zఠఠl໐gᴉcal Dis⅍ter 𓆑🏴 @eatyrselffitter.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 05:27 UTC

apparently it's considered "rude" to restate your argument during makeup sex, no matter how cogent

1 replies 2 reposts 30 likes

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 15:06 UTC

Launching a map service where I give directions like “when the wind blows northeasterly, you’ll come to an old mansion with a crone sitting on the porch—turn the angle her nose points, then continue until a frog hits you in the face. I’ll be the one throwing the frog.”

1 replies 13 reposts 62 likes

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 15:59 UTC

That was just a regular accident to a freak like me

0 replies 36 reposts 79 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 04:34 UTC

Only reason I own a Bluetooth speaker

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Brandi Buchman @brandibuchman.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 10:08 UTC

I am so disgusted by the sorry state of affairs in the U.S. and have little to no hope for the future. the endless waiting game is played out. It has been a difficult lesson to learn since 2021: there is no bottom. I really thought an attempted coup would have done it. It did not.

2 replies 2 reposts 33 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 23:02 UTC

Kids love gummy worms because they are chewy and wiggly and googly

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 21:37 UTC

Thank you

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 17:15 UTC

0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

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🌭 stevia nicks @muffinlab.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 16:47 UTC

happy 4th of july

0 replies 4 reposts 24 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 18:27 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Ed Burmila @edburmila.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 18:08 UTC

Things are going very well when we've reached the "Don't worry, the military won't obey orders to kill civilians" stage of democratic backsliding. It's the sweet spot, where good things happen. Right where we want to be.

35 replies 239 reposts 1288 likes

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Sean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 16:36 UTC

Running my box fan on "low" so the tech lords have the power they need to take away everything good about the world. It's the least I can do.

0 replies 3 reposts 45 likes

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Emissary Of Night | ليلى @diplomatofnight.com
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 01:52 UTC

Do people on here genuinely not get that more than 70% of Gaza City literally does not exist anymore. Are you people fucking stupid.

5 replies 63 reposts 350 likes

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Emissary Of Night | ليلى @diplomatofnight.com
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 02:01 UTC

It is estimated that the total scope of reconstruction of the Strip will take anywhere between 40 and 80 years depending on whether Israel reimposes its illegal blockade and the degree to which its blockade is enforced. 40 to 80 years. If the war ends today, I will be 63 years old at the youngest.

6 replies 94 reposts 225 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 02:13 UTC

The sad thing is that the drugs need me more than I need the drugs

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 19:20 UTC

We are commercial free thanks to the homies at monster energy drink!!!

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

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Drift @inanity101.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 03:07 UTC

Loser goes to jail

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

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Mr. Am I Being Detained @gonebabygone.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 14:31 UTC

Werner Herzog directing a Maybelline ad: Perhaps she is born with it. What a frightful notion, to be imbued with the fetters of capitalist commodification from birth. It suggests God Himself is a part of our dreadful pattern instead of a refuge from it.

27 replies 949 reposts 3271 likes

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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social
[ View ] Aug 11, 2023 at 23:18 UTC

Everyone who's studied literature knows there are four types of story: man vs man, man vs self, man vs nature, and Batman vs Dracula.

6 replies 58 reposts 182 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:20 UTC

It's my legal right to declare it martini hour on the half and even when it breaks

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

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Jacob T. Levy @jacobtlevy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 15:43 UTC

8 replies 442 reposts 1705 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 04:22 UTC

Changing my name to Blorb Egyptian

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

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Mr. Cait @chas.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 00:23 UTC

Remember, you don’t have to watch the debate. You can just as easily watch the episode of Columbo where he talks at length about how he likes his wife thick as fuck.

18 replies 169 reposts 897 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 00:41 UTC

How many people in the world are smoking weed and watching 90s MTV reruns right now

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 05:03 UTC

In your current state, I would never ask you is this, or is this, a pit of snakes?

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 01:44 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 02:21 UTC

We live in a golden age of opportunity, everyone who thinks they were born too early or too late hasn't realized it's not even technically illegal to drive a spaceship while drunk yet

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 22:28 UTC

Step one, delete your Facebook, wtf are you still doing on Facebook

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 19:01 UTC

Not in Ojai you can't

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Plant Good Seed @plantgoodseed.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 11:54 UTC

some crops you’ll want in your life. coming to the PGS catalog next week (amongst 24 other varieties): www.plantgoodseed.com/collections/...

0 replies 3 reposts 9 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 03:22 UTC

Two snakes of a lambs tail

1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 20:21 UTC

Hellthcare

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 21:31 UTC

i work at ROI Wire. the executive lounge is just a dirt pit where they watch each other stomp out dogs they get to from the pound. you can hear the dog skulls cracking from the parking lot

8 replies 18 reposts 217 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 14:16 UTC

👎

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 03:16 UTC

Eat a bug babe

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 02:45 UTC

Come try our new signature cocktail, The Wet Fist

0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 04:34 UTC

Why does Mickey Rooney live in some kind of carnival hell?

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 04:14 UTC

I'm kinda sick of my prayers, let's try yours

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 04:00 UTC

I was always going to go out there and do my thing, which I did

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 03:55 UTC

Heck, you don't even need to know, it's just good

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 02:57 UTC

Happy half birthday to me

0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 02:57 UTC

I went to school at the Academy of Southern Sciences

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 02:45 UTC

I'm going to start the blowjob institute of technology

1 replies 5 reposts 12 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 04:51 UTC

Griplin's hellacious chicken tender tantrum

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Ojai's Organic Ex-Mayor @ojaimayor.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 02:13 UTC

freak out by chainmale

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Kaleb Horton @kalebhorton.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 20:00 UTC

Newsletter is up. Please subscribe if you have five bucks you don't know what to do with. It'll make me keep doing this. kalebhorton.ghost.io/perihelion-a...

1 replies 24 reposts 49 likes