Count Mackula

@countmackula.bsky.social

255 followers 147 following 1282 posts

6'2, Slappin' babies for you
You don't have to like me, but your mom does

Read deez:
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Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 17:59 UTC

Sluts are the only thing that matter in this world any more

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 22:40 UTC

If all I am to you people is a piece of meat Then I guess I better go do a few more bicep curls and pullups *flexes forever*

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:26 UTC

The year is 2024. Nobody can afford meat. Women are only for breeding now. There’s an appeal to heaven flag at your obgyn office. A door fell off an airplane and killed your dog. Happy Independence Day

25 replies 173 reposts 642 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 14:53 UTC

Many people are always saying things We’ve never seen so many people say things Maybe the most ever in history

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 02:15 UTC

so.. .. the Germans invented the Internet? I thought it was Al Gore all this time

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 21:47 UTC

Try again More

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 21:42 UTC

Rude I guess they’re more into mushrooms

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Uncle Kermit @unclekermit.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 13:49 UTC

Nobody puts Baby in a figure four leglock.

1 replies 13 reposts 21 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 23:08 UTC

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 20:29 UTC

When all is said and done.. people will just say the same things again and pretend they made it up

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Chelle @metallicunt.bsky.social
[ View ] Feb 12, 2024 at 23:38 UTC

You know you're happy when you want to share it with the world.

0 replies 5 reposts 5 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 20:21 UTC

There is quite a bit of cat content haha

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 17:00 UTC

What’s an Alkaline diet? *chomps down 3 slices of bacon* *chases it with black coffee*

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Ashley, 69th of Her Name @ashleysays.bsky.social
[ View ] Apr 03, 2024 at 15:49 UTC

Captcha this ass

1 replies 12 reposts 30 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 18:35 UTC

True Being trying is something totally different

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2023 at 19:25 UTC

Everyone is gangster till they touch a bandaid in a pool

14 replies 94 reposts 270 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

BEAVE ² @beaveinflow.bsky.social
[ View ] Apr 19, 2024 at 11:51 UTC

Season 1 of Bluesky is lasting forever.

15 replies 49 reposts 139 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 15:52 UTC

English was meant to be broken.

2 replies 37 reposts 75 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:48 UTC

I’d say give yourself a hand but maybe use both

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 16:58 UTC

I use the toaster oven in the bathtub just like everyone else

6 replies 39 reposts 112 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:47 UTC

Unsane Clown Posse?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:45 UTC

Toast + butter + Cheese

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 20:11 UTC

Call me Hawk. Mister Tuah is my father.

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:44 UTC

Fuck them

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:43 UTC

Peanut butter Bananas Cinnamon swirl bread If you dislike this I hope your mother disowns you

4 replies 6 reposts 16 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 22:15 UTC

My friends told me never to date a dumb girl but if she wants me then that means she’s really smart so idk what they were talking about

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 21:43 UTC

Hell yeah maybe I should become an Accountant

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:38 UTC

I have a lot of anger about the world And you, my trusted audience, will be benefiting from that in the form of questionable musings on the internet

0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:36 UTC

People doin the Hawk tuah jokes here too or just on the Xitanic

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:35 UTC

America is like a massive badass shark Most asylum seekers are basically families on a sinking boat with a giant battery And they’re just showing up to the border like “hey guys I think I’d rather take my chances with this shark instead of just standing here getting electrocuted on this boat”

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 23:51 UTC

I write for me but I share it with you

0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 22:18 UTC

When does the first AI Supreme Court Justice get sworn in?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 21:00 UTC

Learn a European language Mansplaining sounds way fuckin better in italiano or français

1 replies 4 reposts 6 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 20:21 UTC

Plastic testicles? Only my third one

0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 12:58 UTC

That’s a tremendous skill to develop over years And 4+ 6 = 10

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 18:10 UTC

Oh damn I’m so late for my bsky shift

8 replies 42 reposts 107 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

BEAVE ² @beaveinflow.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 19:54 UTC

Me, on my deathbed: Boss: can you just do this one quick thing before you go?

5 replies 72 reposts 272 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 12:54 UTC

Cool eyes

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 23:12 UTC

Cool

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 11:36 UTC

you want me to work and play nice with others you don’t want me to be drunk at work please pick a goddamn lane

6 replies 52 reposts 216 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 12:10 UTC

OMG this place is starting to turn toxic. FINE, I’ll stay.

11 replies 64 reposts 245 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 02:39 UTC

sudo apt visual

0 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 17:49 UTC

Let’s live totally separate lives together

0 replies 5 reposts 9 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 16:20 UTC

Practicing pulling my finger guns out of my jort pockets for the family gathering later.

3 replies 23 reposts 48 likes

Count Mackula @countmackula.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 03:00 UTC

Careful you can make alot of money doing that Would be a shame to give up the beat-up late 90’s white work van

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

illumi @illumi.me
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 02:09 UTC

still can’t believe everyone’s dad was born today

2 replies 22 reposts 91 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Ashley, 69th of Her Name @ashleysays.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 15, 2023 at 03:09 UTC

Come on, anxiety. It’s time for bed

0 replies 5 reposts 11 likes

Reposted by Count Mackula

Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 00:59 UTC

Happy Father's Day, thanks for finishing before mom

0 replies 7 reposts 16 likes