dan mentos

@danmentos.com

2885 followers 242 following 320 posts

it’s too late I’ve ruined it

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 21:40 UTC

crankin out the holiday hits at this bbq

0 replies 3 reposts 15 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:33 UTC

found him on the dark web (garfield subreddit)

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 02:51 UTC

if you're serious I know a guy

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 22:57 UTC

all he has to do is one (1) kickflip and all this will be behind him

0 replies 1 reposts 16 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 20:52 UTC

good call. who knows when a mattress sale conveniently coinciding with a federal holiday might come around again

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 20:22 UTC

I only need one but if I buy ten I get the eleventh one free with a punch card. obviously can't pass that up

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 23:47 UTC

Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: no stupid questions i said Me: *lowers hand*

2 replies 50 reposts 195 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

jon @senderblock23.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 23:28 UTC

Don’t do it.

28 replies 67 reposts 553 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

more mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 29, 2023 at 17:06 UTC

wait a second. long walk... short pier..... my god i'd be soaked. this guy's trying to soak my ass

14 replies 570 reposts 2655 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:50 UTC

does anyone have a extra canada invite code

8 replies 58 reposts 329 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:30 UTC

Happy #CanadaDay to my girlfriend who’s a model by the way

2 replies 0 reposts 14 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 10:33 UTC

It features old favorites such as “The Dog Terrifier”, “PTSD Triggerer”, “Baby Wakers”, and “Oops! No Fingers!” as well as all new “Roof Igniter”

1 replies 1 reposts 12 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 20:08 UTC

travis it sounds like you do, in fact, know who needs to hear this

1 replies 1 reposts 14 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 06:33 UTC

sadly I must now remove “pixelated boat” from my list of trusted news sources

0 replies 0 reposts 103 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 03:07 UTC

did anyone ever give that guy shelter

3 replies 1 reposts 30 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 22:16 UTC

next debate is on 9/10 and there's only one rule: Do a kickflip

0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 22:09 UTC

I bet if you try really hard you can get the door open

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 20:03 UTC

BREAKING: SCOTUS has ruled that I’m cool and nice and good at sex, overturning a decision made by my ex-wife Linda in 2004

2 replies 14 reposts 115 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 15:36 UTC

tbh it’s none of my business

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:53 UTC

I didn't know it was possible but biden looks older than bucky isotope

2 replies 1 reposts 17 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:45 UTC

watching the 1976 Ford Carter debate on C-SPAN Classic 🍿

1 replies 1 reposts 31 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 16:51 UTC

boss left his screen unlocked again

0 replies 11 reposts 168 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 03:44 UTC

RFK JR (lips right on mic): Mountain Don't *debate moderator throws up*

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 03:16 UTC

After the worldwide success of "Cat's in the Cradle", Harry Chapin's follow-up single "Baby's in the Litter Box" fell flat with critics and audiences alike

3 replies 12 reposts 75 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

tinybaby @tiny.baby
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 02:49 UTC

no they're not. that's what pending means

2 replies 5 reposts 68 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Ygrene ✔️ @ygrene.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 00:52 UTC

oh frick

6 replies 7 reposts 82 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 21:42 UTC

I have some questions

2 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 20:59 UTC

*whole photo gets bigger* sonofa

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 20:35 UTC

hbd bg (automated)

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 16:13 UTC

if you iykyk, you know

1 replies 0 reposts 14 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 04:19 UTC

ah I messed up the bit

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 04:17 UTC

Benny and the Jet Fuel Doesn’t Melt Steel Beams

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:53 UTC

0 replies 1 reposts 25 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 04:30 UTC

that picture is already an Art piece

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 21:12 UTC

lot going on but none of it is really happening imo

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 17:49 UTC

lol dumb guy next door practices his guitar for hours each day. obviously hasn’t heard of AI. this mf dating an actual woman lmao

1 replies 17 reposts 121 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 04:22 UTC

congratulations @mobute.bsky.social

0 replies 0 reposts 26 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 02:30 UTC

"hugging"

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 20:18 UTC

When your corgi is buffering

49 replies 751 reposts 4563 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 22:35 UTC

not to brag but I’ve got a kind of reverse benjamin button thing going on

2 replies 0 reposts 32 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 12:31 UTC

Every album from The Decemberists

34 replies 696 reposts 3007 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 04:32 UTC

One of the worst ways to get stabbed is repeatedly

27 replies 185 reposts 1063 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 11:18 UTC

Honk if you want me to think about you for the rest of the day

1 replies 9 reposts 56 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 23:33 UTC

good news jon

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 03:04 UTC

hi olive nice to meet you. it seems we share exactly one trait

5 replies 12 reposts 130 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 23:44 UTC

I've got an extremely pissed off mule if you're interested in branching out

2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 22:18 UTC

case close

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

dan mentos @danmentos.com
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 22:16 UTC

I'm sorry billy I'm gonna need a second opinion on this @darthbluesky.bsky.social

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

Ray @sireviscerate.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 18:08 UTC

*succumbing to injuries suffered from getting hit by a Smart car* please just tell everyone it was a regular car

6 replies 81 reposts 577 likes

Reposted by dan mentos

more mr. nice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 22:21 UTC

Luigi should be Irish

2 replies 5 reposts 41 likes