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Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
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I drink Pina Coladas in the rain while peering in your windows as you watch TV.
1 replies 6 reposts 13 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻@imallwrite.bsky.social |
102 followers 89 following 270 posts
I come from Twitter. Elon Musk has made that platform awful. I'm a Reply Guy. Don't hate me. This place is very quiet. I can't seem to grow my account, might be time to move on.
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Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
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I drink Pina Coladas in the rain while peering in your windows as you watch TV.
1 replies 6 reposts 13 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Clarence Thomas Took Free Yacht Trip to Russia, Chopper Flight to Putin’s Hometown:
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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They are freer than the fat naked guy stretching in the gym locker room
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Hey folks welcome to Bluesky. Don't worry you won't be charged for making any Likes Repost or Follows so go crazy!
1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Donald Trump rage tweeting about Joe Biden is an example of the disease being mad at the cure
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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What do you call a fascist who is afraid of the ocean? A not sea
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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I wish countries would hire dolphins as border control agents cuz then they'd say things like: "What is the porpoise of your visit?"
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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CD London
@claredocherty1.bsky.social
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Why do women cry when there angry? Because they realise its illegal to kill you & that shit is so frustrating. 😂🤣
1 replies 2 reposts 18 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Bagpipes instructor
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Uncle Kermit
@unclekermit.bsky.social
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Sure, we drank from the hose. We didn't worry about contamination. We just poured a Kool aid packet and a cup of sugar in our mouth, and made Kool aid with cool delicious hose water.
3 replies 4 reposts 10 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Yes! 👍
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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I went magic mushroom picking once in British Columbia. I brought home 7 different types and laid them in piles on my table then called my buddy who knows about shrooms to come look He very calmly said Well these 5 are shitty and these 2 are poisonous So I threw them out and we called "a guy"
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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guy who discovered fire: ow fuck ow
1 replies 39 reposts 125 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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You could potentially eat four or five spiders in your sleep if you put in the effort
2 replies 13 reposts 28 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Gary Busey just called and asked if I’m doing okay, y’know, like, mental health wise.
3 replies 42 reposts 82 likes
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Villein
@villein.bsky.social
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shoplifting one egg
1 replies 12 reposts 53 likes
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Anne Aardvark
@haljak.bsky.social
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That’s not the bidet spray you can feel; that’s the warm wet breath of the Toilet Witch.
1 replies 6 reposts 18 likes
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James
@overlooked237.bsky.social
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I’m always worried the toll booth attendant will try to upsell me
0 replies 6 reposts 15 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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There once was a guy selling gold shoes. Stood on the stage to a room full of boos. His orange face grinning He claimed he was winning Here's hoping November he'll lose
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Breaking news: Kari Lake claims she won the election in France and therefore she is now the president of France
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Dolphinately done on porpoise 🥁 badump bump
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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I wonder if any of the girls I've had sex with ever stop and think "Hmmm, I wonder what Brian is up to these days" That would be weird since my name's not Brian
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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"Here's the thing you have to understand about Ted Cruz, I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz." - Al Franken
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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What do you call a fascist who is afraid of the ocean? A not sea
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Me: Hey Siri find me a picture or video of Donald Trump riding a bike Siri: LOL 🤣🤣🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Bluesky is a pretty decently made social media platform. But it only has 5.5 millionusers compared to Threads at 190 million and Twitter X at 556 million. If it doesn't get more active users on board it's gonna keep feeling like a game of solitaire
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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You are full of 💩 Buh bye 👋
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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My kid saw me with my shirt off and promptly went to his mother and asked if it was daddy’s turn to make a baby
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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aaron
@trulyaas.bsky.social
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Can't...I'm busy singing Endless Love to this tub of Cool Whip.
0 replies 4 reposts 9 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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today I forego q-tips and instead use lit sparklers
6 replies 31 reposts 71 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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a couple hours at a good pinball machine would fix me
8 replies 55 reposts 114 likes
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Dude
@prosaic.bsky.social
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1 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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Xavier
@xinicit.bsky.social
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Some people think it’s stupid to try to cuddle with a bear that tore off part of your scalp. Some people don’t know how lonely the night gets.
2 replies 29 reposts 56 likes
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Asstown Baker
@asstownbakery.bsky.social
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If I had to travel the Oregon Trail as a pioneer I think a really difficult part of the journey would be rationing my Pringles
2 replies 17 reposts 31 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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Humming birds are so fucked up it’s like bruh you don’t have to move your wings that fast to fly I see other birds do it all the time
2 replies 27 reposts 92 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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Nobody would have even HEARD me eating Doritos at the funeral if you guys would have just cried louder
6 replies 60 reposts 264 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Ode to on fleek I thought I was on fleek once but then a bunch of teens at the Galleria Mall Food Court made fun of my cargo shorts and Loverboy 1992 World Tour concert shirt and all feelings of fleekness deserted me
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Might fuck around and turn this into a Carrot Top fanboy account
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Presidential immunity from criminal prosecution means Jan 21, 2025 the Trump VIP Merch store goes online: Pardons for sale Judgeships for sale Executive Orders for sale Vetoes for sale Deregulation for sale Ambassadorships for sale Cabinet positions for sale Federal land for...
0 replies 1 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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Five things I'm very good at doing: 1. Making detailed lists
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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Ever since I heard about the downfall of the largest empire in pre-Columbian America, I have been incan-solable.
0 replies 8 reposts 26 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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People are saying RFK Jr ate Jimmy Hoffa
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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My wife texted me "Brian, lets make a sex tape 2nite!" Weird thing is, she's out of town on a business trip. Also, my name's not Brian
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
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The Cybertruck looks like a frying pan fucked a Honda Civic
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My kid saw me with my shirt off and promptly went to his mother and asked if it was daddy’s turn to make a baby
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Farting while getting up from a chair is called a rocket launcher
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Me as a waiter asking the blind guy if he wants sea salt
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Doug Burgum is so unknown his secret service nickname is going to be Doug Burgum
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Joe Biden announces that as an official act of office he is selling the Supreme Court Building
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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I'm All Write 🍻
@imallwrite.bsky.social
[ View ] |
@tywebb.bsky.social
Welcome to the lazy hammock of social media platforms
🍻
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes