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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Can someone explain to me what I’m talking about?
14 replies 36 reposts 97 likes
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Eric Replatformed@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social |
1453 followers 1514 following 2081 posts
Red hot hypersonic nonsequitur and reluctant Michigander.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:56qlzx4tulfm2muuj2kpuit6/feed/aaab5q3jprwzi
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Can someone explain to me what I’m talking about?
14 replies 36 reposts 97 likes
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Twin Dad
@twinsurvivalist.bsky.social
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Her labia tattoo didn't make sense until I folded it like those Mad Magazine pictures.
3 replies 21 reposts 58 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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I’m not asking to win aaalllll the lotteries…just 1. I’m not greedy.
1 replies 9 reposts 32 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I lost my glasses awhile ago so I have no idea what the last 6300 posts were about
3 replies 32 reposts 91 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Gary Busey just called and asked if I’m doing okay, y’know, like, mental health wise.
3 replies 42 reposts 82 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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Sorry your wife believe’s a “blow job” costs $22 at the local hair salon
3 replies 13 reposts 32 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I was gonna say the New York Knicks top all-time 38 players including John Starks.
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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What has 75 balls and gets old women excited? A Bingo machine
3 replies 19 reposts 30 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Life is short and so am I. Hand me that vodka from the top shelf.
6 replies 50 reposts 150 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If Gavin Rossdale’s band’s greatest hits album isn’t called Full Bush then what is even the point of all this.
7 replies 37 reposts 115 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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we used to call nana “peanut” cuz she tiny now we call her “peanut brittle” cuz osteoporosis send tweet
3 replies 46 reposts 129 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I base their tip on how gently the waitstaff wakes me when the food arrives
3 replies 39 reposts 82 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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“Bear with me.” Just kidding, I don’t have a bear.
14 replies 55 reposts 150 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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The dating app Hinge is a lot like communism, it works better on paper than in real life due to human nature.
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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Relationship status: I passed one of those For Sale signs with the picture of the Realtor and stopped to swipe right on it.
0 replies 5 reposts 14 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I burned the calorie equivalent of one beer walking up to the liquor store so I really only bought a 5 pack.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Captain Ambivalent (comedy music/musical comedy) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
@captainambivalent.com
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If "When I'm 64" were released today it'd be "When I'm 121"
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Hush Jared
@hushjared.bsky.social
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Calling CPS on whoever adopted this highway
0 replies 15 reposts 39 likes
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VonTraphaus
@vontraphaus.bsky.social
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I'm legally banned from owning or wearing bike shorts in the state of Oregon until I agree to another round of penis reduction surgery
0 replies 4 reposts 7 likes
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Corduroy Cheddar
@corduroycheddar.bsky.social
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First I objectified you, but then I anthropomorphized you, so basically nothing happened
3 replies 8 reposts 18 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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Always wanted to marry a baker named Edith so I could have my cake and Edith, too
3 replies 28 reposts 87 likes
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Brick's House
@brickmahoney.bsky.social
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I appreciate a good diorama so if there was an event called Dioramarama, I'd maybe go
1 replies 5 reposts 11 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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Nothing more sus than an "attractive" "young" "female" sliding into your dm's with "hi"
6 replies 14 reposts 40 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Being a failure as a parent stings more than being a failure as a spouse, even though the parenting batting average is higher.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
[ View ] |
is it tomatoes it’s tomatoes, isn’t it
6 replies 26 reposts 88 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
[ View ] |
a book about a rapper from a crumbling city who calls himself Urban DK somebody write that down
0 replies 19 reposts 57 likes
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Super(kim)star!
@aquavulva.bsky.social
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Holy shit. I had ice cream for last night and I didn’t partake. I don’t even know myself these days.
1 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Super(kim)star!
@aquavulva.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The rain is here and it’s glorious.
0 replies 6 reposts 20 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There should be a non-alcholic beverage option for communion, such as nun-sweetened tea.
1 replies 4 reposts 8 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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Asking AI how I can monetize pessimism
7 replies 37 reposts 87 likes
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John
@johncnj.bsky.social
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Growing up in farm country you’d think I should know this, but would a dairy farmer wear a mooed ring?
0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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John
@johncnj.bsky.social
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I’m getting a bit bored with ‘Presumed Innocent’ but with only two episodes left, I’ll tough it out and finish it. Hoping for a surprise reveal that Peter Sarsgaard did it. Not his character but the actor. Nobody would expect that twist!
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I wondered why I was snoring then looked out the window and saw the raining and pouring
1 replies 4 reposts 11 likes
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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
@armyvet1972.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Why are they called trousers when I’ve never seen them trouse not even once
2 replies 7 reposts 20 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
💔
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Hush Jared
@hushjared.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Million dollar idea: a beach blanket the length of a human person
5 replies 32 reposts 125 likes
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Dani Pennsylvania
@daniellie.bsky.social
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Husband: 98 degrees tomorrow morning. Me: I didn’t even like them back in 2001! (He doesn’t hear me and I stare at the wall in silence.)
2 replies 13 reposts 101 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Who called them varicose and not insane in the leg vein?
1 replies 20 reposts 41 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Commas matter, I would prefer outdoor doggy and a glass of wine, please.
0 replies 1 reposts 9 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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Going to start signing emails with “absolutely zero regards” until someone notices.
13 replies 60 reposts 184 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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Dinosaur boss: i need you to come in tomorrow T-rex: but it’s my day off Dinosaur boss: i know but we’re a bit… T-rex: here we go Dinosaur boss: short-handed *they try to high-five, but, ya know…*
4 replies 52 reposts 133 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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I get it Combos, I would also like to fill the empty void inside of me with cheese.
1 replies 13 reposts 36 likes
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Staff Chief of Joints
@etrain.bsky.social
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Air BnB implies Water Hostel, Fire Yurt, and Earth Extended Stay Suite.
1 replies 6 reposts 13 likes
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Staff Chief of Joints
@etrain.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I beg your pardon? I'd never "whip it out", as it were. A gentleman gently unfurls.
1 replies 10 reposts 34 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The handjob at the strip bar wasn't itself awkward. It was crowded & nonchalant. What was awkward was the guy next to me at the bar I was giving it to thought he was receiving it from the hot stripper gal who was sitting on my lap.
1 replies 13 reposts 30 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Starting a restaurant called the G-Spot where we only serve grilled cheese.
13 replies 53 reposts 211 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'd be depressed too if my sustained winds were only 35 mph.
0 replies 15 reposts 36 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It’s so gross outside. Not the weather, the people.
5 replies 61 reposts 145 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is my “I just went practice driving with a 16 year old” beer
6 replies 14 reposts 46 likes
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Avogadro's House of Blues
@plasticsoup.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Pantsless and a fair distance from the refrigerator.
1 replies 12 reposts 19 likes