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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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A text back? What’s that?
1 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Pinot Evil@pinotevil.bsky.social |
1030 followers 925 following 706 posts
I’m just here for the fuckery. Martini fiend Dog mom NSFW W⚓️ 🇿🇦
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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A text back? What’s that?
1 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Wyatt Sinclair
@wyattswickedgoods.com
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I asked someone what the difference between the Black Eyed Peas and chick peas is. After several incorrect guesses, I had to tell them that while the Black Eyed Peas could sing us a song, chick peas could only hummus one.
42 replies 99 reposts 701 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Electronic Dunce Music
1 replies 6 reposts 38 likes
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Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
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It was the fast of times, it was the furious of times
8 replies 75 reposts 330 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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Sending an apology using dots and dashes is re-morse code
11 replies 68 reposts 329 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Just reflecting on how in the early 90s Bart Simpson shocked the nation into a moral outrage saying stuff like "Eat my shorts" and now the hawk tuah girl is a celebrity no questions asked.
5 replies 8 reposts 85 likes
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dave k
@dave-tothe-k.bsky.social
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My microwave tried to blow up and kill me. Does everything have to be complicated and exhausting?
1 replies 4 reposts 10 likes
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Bliss
@blisskissed.bsky.social
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Mutual eye rolls is my love language.
0 replies 11 reposts 39 likes
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Rachel
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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My friends are like we haven’t heard from you. I’m like I just talk to people from Blue-sky now, I get all my socializing and conversations in online and don’t have to see people.
2 replies 10 reposts 44 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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I’d go everyday if I could ngl
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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😂🙌🏻♥️
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Thrfting for life yo 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Holly Brolightly
@hollyholightly.bsky.social
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15 asked me to take him to goodwill and help him learn how to thrift shop 🥹 found him an Oscar de la Renta sweater and Yves Saint Laurent pants. $13 total yeah, he’s hooked now 🙌🏼
9 replies 12 reposts 103 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Hey boy, I love that perineum, is that goochi?
3 replies 21 reposts 38 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Who came up with the word lesbian and not antisementic?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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bluesky’s great you just post every antisocial thought you have and in return people show you their boobs
5 replies 34 reposts 146 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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My free ice pick lobotomy stand in the front yard gets a lot more business than you’d probably guess
8 replies 41 reposts 119 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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life is like a box of chocolates (the sugar free ones that make you shit yourself)
8 replies 54 reposts 183 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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*pours out beer for all the unrecorded steps while watch is charging*
1 replies 29 reposts 51 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Tenderizing my resignation with the biggest mallet I can find.
4 replies 42 reposts 133 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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I’m too busy having my own episodes to watch any
6 replies 41 reposts 108 likes
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DeviKW
@deviwestside.bsky.social
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Me reading my own posts: she is so funny, I love her
0 replies 13 reposts 37 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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My safe-word is in an archived file
5 replies 21 reposts 54 likes
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Ashley, 69th of Her Name
@ashleysays.bsky.social
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[my first day working at area 51] Me: so where’s the other 50?
0 replies 6 reposts 14 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Took a break :)
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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One of the few joys in my life is when my kids step on their own Lego.
3 replies 17 reposts 65 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Sex so mediocre, she makes you a blandwich…
1 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Millennials urban dictionary everything… I come from a time when the thesaurus roamed the earth.
0 replies 14 reposts 25 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Moaning “Oh God” on a Sunday morning is the closest I’ll get to church
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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“I just love a man in uniform” ~ drunk me, to my garden gnomes
1 replies 5 reposts 21 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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It’s all fun and games until you swallow the keys to the handcuffs.
0 replies 3 reposts 13 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Mom: Did you dye your hair? * twirling my fingers through my freshly coloured brown ear * How did you know?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Pansexuals get it on in the kitchen
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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You look like the kind of person who touches garden gnomes appropriately.
0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Husband: wanna have a quickie? Me: As opposed to what?
3 replies 9 reposts 32 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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After my honeymoon, my ex apparently felt like a new man… and so did I.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Sex with me is like eating spaghetti with a spoon.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Good day meowlady * tips cat
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Ninja wedding vows be like “in slickness and in stealth.”
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Assert dominance by bringing up religion, sex, vaccines, politics and world war 2 in the first 30 minutes at your new partner’s family Christmas lunch.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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The dress code for my wedding should have been red flags.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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I’m so pale… I don’t send nudes, I send transparencies
1 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Welcome to London, where everyone calls you madam against your will.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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I don’t moan during sex, I prefer to yodel.
0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Inside of you are 2 wolves. One eats a grammy and the other gets domesticated.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Peeling onions is great because you get to cry about everything in front of your kids and blame supper.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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I’m really hungry, so I’m going to eat an apple and promote myself to starving.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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A friend with benefits would just be a bestie with a laser hair removal salon for me.
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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Who called them varicose and not insane in the leg vein?
1 replies 20 reposts 41 likes