Randy Tayler's avatar

Randy Tayler

@randytayler.bsky.social

10 followers 29 following 57 posts

The Q is silent. And invisible.

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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A bird in the hand is worth X birds in the bush, where X is a value that is taxed at normal avian gains rates, but that bears a probabilistic chance, Y, of increasing over time W at rate Z. Solve for X where Y is greater than 50%, but W and Z have to be pulled out of your butt

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The Onion's avatar The Onion @theonion.com
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"Our research suggests there’s a strong correlation between scurrying up onto a 50-foot-wide human palm and being spirited away to an incredible realm ruled by behemoths."

0 replies 53 reposts 293 likes

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The Onion's avatar The Onion @theonion.com
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"I know it sounds crazy, but I have absolutely zero urge to turn on my TV tonight."

12 replies 184 reposts 809 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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SUPERMAN: I came as soon as I heard! LOIS: You heard I chipped a nail? SUPERMAN: I have super-hearing LOIS: And you came to console me? SUPERMAN: I also have super-empathy

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Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Aspiring artists should get their art out now, *before people stop believing you didn't use AI.* "And that was in the days before AI!" we'll say in 30 years.

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Mary Robinette Kowal 's avatar Mary Robinette Kowal @maryrobinette.bsky.social
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I've just learned that the International Astronomical Union has named an asteroid after me.

I'm... I'm a little overcome.

It's out near Jupiter, so there's no danger of it hitting the Earth.

ssd.jpl.nasa.gov/tools/sbdb_l...

121 replies 143 reposts 1670 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Jake's avatar Jake @whiskeytown.bsky.social
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Bitcoin consumes about 2.5% of US electricity, about the same as all residential cooling. An article decrying *that* electricity usage as a personal moral failing would be much less tone deaf.

18 replies 907 reposts 1907 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Hot damn. This app says I'm "ABOVE healthy weight." Didn't know you could be above healthy, but here I am.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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David Marshall 's avatar David Marshall @illdave.bsky.social
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I can't remember a tech campaign this relentless.

143 replies 2288 reposts 6968 likes

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Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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I think the reason North Korea is sending balloons with trash instead of just nuking South Korea is that they don't want to hurt BTS

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Thinking about making a NO SOLICITORS sign with PIE MAKERS WELCOME in smaller text underneath

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Jess Zimmerman's avatar Jess Zimmerman @jesszimmerman.com
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Four! More! Years!

3 replies 22 reposts 145 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Christy, Butlerian Jihadist's avatar Christy, Butlerian Jihadist @birdsaredinosaurs.bsky.social
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The timeline right now looks like an Ewok party after the Death Star exploded

96 replies 1635 reposts 6877 likes

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CHOAM Nomsky 💭's avatar CHOAM Nomsky 💭 @thielman.bsky.social
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this really made me laugh

26 replies 300 reposts 1202 likes

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Nash's avatar Nash @radiodeadair.com
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WHO WANTS DESSERT

44 replies 809 reposts 2961 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Charlotte Clymer's avatar Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social
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Next week’s cover of The New Yorker just dropped.

32 replies 402 reposts 1676 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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This stings. If you look closely at the dumpster outside my window, you'll see why.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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It's so damn good. I thought maybe it was just because I love the game series, but it appears it really is just that good. I want to rewatch it already.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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IF it were true, we'd have to ask why Superman is pretending to be a mild-mannered journalist. It's a dying medium! Unless... unless saving print journalism is part of his long game. Huh. Now THAT would be heroic. K, I like the Kent-Superman theory now.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Dell Cameron's avatar Dell Cameron @dell.bsky.social
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trying to get my cat to walk through the front door by yelling “go, go, go” like she’s jumping out of a c130

2 replies 2 reposts 20 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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No THANK you! I'm under 2 yards tall, more than 2 stones heavy. Any more detail than that and NOBODY will swipe right on my Tinder profile.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Popehat's avatar Popehat @kenwhite.bsky.social
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Swin, did I ever tell you about the time that everyone else in the courtroom seemed to be asleep and I was afraid the white supremacist bank robber was going to strangle me?

9 replies 48 reposts 449 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Whenever I see a red baseball cap, I try to get a clear view of the front so I can see if it's a MAGA hat. (Gotta know if I should be miserably angry or not.)

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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sky 's avatar sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social
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I’m not a very good communicator but I might be if I had those big floor buttons they give to really smart dogs.

2 replies 7 reposts 47 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

sky 's avatar sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social
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ALIEN: Take me to your leader. me: Take me to YOUR leader. ALIEN: *suddenly nervous* Are you going to eat him?

1 replies 15 reposts 70 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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My future grandkids won't be able to tell if Cybertrucks were real or fake. "Those were just an urban legend and some Photoshop!" "No," I'll tell them, "it's all true." "All right, Grandpa, let's get you to sleep. You're tuckered out." "No, it's true! Some liked that look!" *Orderly approaches*

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Blue sky jerk's avatar Blue sky jerk @rajandelman.bsky.social
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Doing the "crushing your head" bit from Kids in the Hall to a Cybertruck and actually crushing it

15 replies 206 reposts 1329 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Costa Samaras's avatar Costa Samaras @costasamaras.bsky.social
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oh you want BRAKES with this car too? Well, step right up, and for $149 per month, you can download this app Stahp, which gives you 99 guaranteed brake depressions per month

31 replies 219 reposts 1554 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Erin Biba's avatar Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social
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*you are not immune to propaganda and misinformation* *you should wait before you share things* *you should not get angry and pick fights with people who suggest "news items" that fit your agenda and beliefs might not be accurate*

8 replies 104 reposts 438 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Reposted by Randy Tayler

The Author, Séamas O'Reilly's avatar The Author, Séamas O'Reilly @seamas.bsky.social
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If I ever had to admit to doing something this profoundly weird and embarrassing, I'd have simply no choice but to set myself on fire.

37 replies 339 reposts 1920 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Member FDIC's avatar Member FDIC @memberfdic.bsky.social
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Be careful, Kevin. If you make fun of people who refuse to vote, then next time they might take revenge by super duper refusing to vote.

5 replies 14 reposts 168 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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I'm not sure which is more liberal, my political stance, or my application of strawberry jam on this piece of toast

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Nate's avatar Nate @thenatewolf.bsky.social
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Me: Imagine if every tear was an egg and every time you started crying there was 10-50 broken eggs on you. You leave a funeral and it’s like “crunch crunch crunch” (if the person was beloved). Genie: That's your wish? Me: No, we're just talking. Just being friends right now.

4 replies 158 reposts 731 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Duran and then another not unlike him

0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Philip Bump's avatar Philip Bump @pbump.com
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Over spring break, we went to Boston and saw a recreated Revolutionary War battle and went to the science museum and then he saw a marionette show in the city and went to the Natural History museum and then his teacher asked him to summarize what he did.

88 replies 218 reposts 2040 likes

Randy Tayler's avatar Randy Tayler @randytayler.bsky.social
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Or - hear me out - I could NOT exercise and eat right, and live maybe only five years past retirement, but what delightful days I would have remaining! Except that last day, which I imagine will be pretty painful, what with all the infarction

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Lar deSouza's avatar Lar deSouza @lartist.bsky.social
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It's only a little insane reflecting back on how much bounty I thought a 40Mg hard drive was in 1991. Or a 1.44mg 3.5" disk. Oh me, oh my. Of course, back then I had an onion on my belt...which was the fashion at the time.....

4 replies 2 reposts 57 likes

Reposted by Randy Tayler

Hey! Monster Boy's avatar Hey! Monster Boy @heymonsterboy.bsky.social
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Here's the truth: artists AREN'T special-- in that we don't have some special Art Pass. EVERY human is an artist, if they would let themselves be one. Artists are just practised at it. To tell yourself art is so beyond you that you'd rather let a machine vomit something out-- that is a tragedy.

2 replies 98 reposts 250 likes