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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When they describe a book as Women's Fiction, I can only presume they mean written in blood.
0 replies 18 reposts 34 likes
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Haiku Platypus@haikuplatypus.bsky.social |
913 followers 526 following 1861 posts
A thing worth saying
can be said in a haiku.
Trust a Platypus.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:h4srao33inyylrmwz3jqlysg/feed/aaaltajzy2xk2
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When they describe a book as Women's Fiction, I can only presume they mean written in blood.
0 replies 18 reposts 34 likes
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One Dogโs Opinion ๐พ
@onedogsopinion.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I dislocated or subluxated my knee yesterday and Iโd like to tell you guys that I fell down a mineshaft or was tackled playing rugby โ but no โOh, how did I dislocate my knee? Great story: you see I was walking normally and sensibly in my house when my knee just decided to spontaneously dislocateโ
1 replies 1 reposts 10 likes
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One Dogโs Opinion ๐พ
@onedogsopinion.bsky.social
[ View ] |
a lost and found but for the sound a tree makes when it falls in a forest
0 replies 6 reposts 15 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There was a robin just sitting in the yard so I said "hey robin" and it took off frantically. I'm used to this.
1 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sometimes I'll go on a reposting spree and end the night thinking I'm hilarious, then realize I actually only posted once in all that and it was about being drunk or shitting.
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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I made dinner for my kids and me, they seemed to like it, but I'm not sure that existence has any value so I haven't eaten yet.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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I don't use filters, dirty camera lenses are better
1 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I had this whole complex thought but hahaha bourbon.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't let your desire for them to be better cancel your original appreciation of their existence.
0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Apparently having your mom calling you in sick from work doesnโt count.
6 replies 33 reposts 96 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My 9: Mom why do we honk at cows when we drive by? So we can let them know we love them.
3 replies 23 reposts 54 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hello. Iโm heading over to be weird with you.
15 replies 38 reposts 105 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
With great tits, comes great back pain.
13 replies 37 reposts 103 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I had a dragon I would be hollering dracarys daily.
5 replies 21 reposts 40 likes
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๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry your boyfriend thinks the clitoris is the chamber in which a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.
12 replies 53 reposts 154 likes
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๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The only dueling Iโll consider is pistols at dawn. *๐ด๐ญ๐ข๐ฑ๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐จ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ*
3 replies 29 reposts 50 likes
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๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The most supremacist species in the animal kingdom is the Great White Shark.
1 replies 9 reposts 16 likes
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๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I was honored to be elected president of Breast Worshippers International until I learned it was only a titular position.
2 replies 8 reposts 25 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 70 reposts 201 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If 1 brainless move = good 1000 brainless moves = gooder I WIN
1 replies 9 reposts 24 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
[patting the bed seductively] come to Butt-Head
5 replies 20 reposts 52 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
eating cheese over the sink hbu
16 replies 14 reposts 58 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
girls only want one thing and it's to murder
9 replies 41 reposts 101 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
clear eyes, charged vibrator, canโt lose ๐ซก
4 replies 15 reposts 52 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
sorry i asked if the photo of your kid was โthat fucked up AI stuffโ
18 replies 181 reposts 699 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
oh, that? it's just my lifetime REI Membership card ๐
7 replies 9 reposts 61 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
my recipe for success is finishing 0.05% of a task and then moving on to do the same for another task, all day, until it takes 2 months to complete any questions?
10 replies 27 reposts 104 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
[Eminem's rap battle opponent] nice vomit on your sweater, did your mom make it for you?
5 replies 37 reposts 146 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
babe, i'm not coming to your meeting, i have a life
6 replies 29 reposts 106 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Me, to ghost of Xmas past: "So we're just going to ignore the fact that those people all turned out to be little lying bitches with no work ethic?"
0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Passing out naked with someone, thinking it's Saturday, and then waking up to find out it's now Saturday, and that was Friday, would be really cool. Especially if they slept in and weren't all "whoa it's Saturday let's go hiking."
0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Did somebody already do the Hawk Tuah knuckle tats? I feel like I should have seen it by now.
1 replies 11 reposts 34 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your request involves being inside on a computer, but it is 67ยฐ F and overcast outside. I do not want to be inside. I want to be out here, in the weather of my ancestors, preparing an aggressive "merchant" voyage.
1 replies 7 reposts 15 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"You smell nice." Thanks, fresh urinal cakes in the first floor bathroom.
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
tomorrow iโm gonna wake up and ruin someoneโs life
14 replies 35 reposts 124 likes
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futurejeffrey๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
Todayโs the day!
2 replies 7 reposts 20 likes
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futurejeffrey๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
the future is now
6 replies 8 reposts 34 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yes, its me! Iโm back I hate to ask, but Iโd love to find my people again. Any chance you guys help me out?
18 replies 65 reposts 116 likes
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futurejeffrey๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
*faints from the excitement before a clever post can be put together asking you to go follow the one and only BBK
1 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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futurejeffrey๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
2 replies 5 reposts 15 likes
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futurejeffrey๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
today Odin turns 3 ๐๐ค๐
50 replies 29 reposts 255 likes
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Sweetie ฯ
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Look, I just want an element named after me and to solve a murder mystery on train I really donโt think thatโs too much to ask
7 replies 40 reposts 102 likes
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Sweetie ฯ
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I lost my glasses awhile ago so I have no idea what the last 6300 posts were about
2 replies 31 reposts 84 likes
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Sweetie ฯ
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
watched an octopus documentary and the narrator said they sometimes punch fish out of spite and Iโve never been more in love with anything in my life
10 replies 46 reposts 206 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nice.
1 replies 1 reposts 19 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] |
itโs okay sweetheart drink your milk and take your muscle relaxers you can write your long winded reply later
6 replies 39 reposts 85 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry I unfollowed you. Itโs been six months since you last posted. I thought you were dead or just happy living life.
2 replies 12 reposts 33 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My therapist says I canโt duel anymore. She thinks Mr Cannoli is one of my alter egos and Iโm starting to believe it too
3 replies 21 reposts 63 likes
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Stalled Traffic
@stalledtraffic.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry I didn't respond to your subskeet. It felt too much like you wanted this parasocial relationship to be real.
0 replies 5 reposts 12 likes