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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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One upside to the attendance being so bad at the Oakland A’s games is that everyone is guaranteed to be on the Jumbotron at least once
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Brian@sortabad.bsky.social |
1125 followers 288 following 295 posts
Enthusiast
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
[ View ] |
One upside to the attendance being so bad at the Oakland A’s games is that everyone is guaranteed to be on the Jumbotron at least once
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Finally got bluesky DMs, I’ve made it
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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you really never know a person until you’ve seen how they react when they’re shown on the Jumbotron at a sporting event
0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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is this really the type of thing you believe is worth your time to argue about
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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No one wouldn’t include San Jose, east bay, or north bay in Bay Area. That would be silly. This is a Venn Diagram thing where Bay encompasses all.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Also extends west to the ocean, soooo
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Sounds like you have the most important geography must-haves down pat
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Now guess who her long-term boyfriend was
1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Neither really but Palo Alto is geographically perhaps as perfectly in the middle of the Bay Area as possible. Also unrelated but wondering if bears reference the state animal which no one really knows except for maybe from the state flag
5 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Ilu Mara but I hate this take so much, lol
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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For the sake of our future is there no child actor who can step up? There’s no way he’ll notice you’re not actually one of his
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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He’s going to keep having kids until one of them likes him.
1 replies 9 reposts 39 likes
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Hi, it’s Abby. Yep.
@abbycohenwl.bsky.social
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Are you there God? What the fuck, man?
12 replies 269 reposts 980 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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There was a time on Twitter where I’d read something this clever every day. Good ole days
0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Thanks Obama
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Thank you
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Attorney Andre 3000: can you tell the jury, what’s cooler than being cool? Witness: [leans closer to mic] as I recall, it’s ice cold Attorney: alright alright alright alright alright alr- Prosecutor: objection your honor!
0 replies 17 reposts 82 likes
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Joshua J. Friedman
@joshuajfriedman.com
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This is beautiful www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...
94 replies 111 reposts 483 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
[ View ] |
1 replies 14 reposts 130 likes
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David Weiskopf
@weiskopf.bsky.social
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Anyone done this one yet? @sortabad.bsky.social ?
1 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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iCarly youCarlys weCarlymos
1 replies 14 reposts 64 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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imagine hanging out with a 24 year old. It’s fun. Good energy, a great vibe. Nelly’s Ride Wit Me plays in the background. You mention you love this song. They aren’t familiar. “Oh,” they say, looking up from their phone, “it came out before I was born.”
0 replies 5 reposts 20 likes
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Maddie
@madrigal.bsky.social
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my job gave me a sack of flour to carry around for a week before they gave me a laptop
6 replies 47 reposts 337 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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❤️
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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If you want to see your name typed out one place to look is at the bottom of the fantasy football standings
3 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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He actually didn’t drop out on purpose he was just so bad at math he didn’t realize numbers went all the way up to 12
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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andy™
@andylevy.net
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found alito’s bluesky account
1 replies 21 reposts 294 likes
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Travis, bluesky elder
@prof-hinkley.bsky.social
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How's this for a comeback? 30 years ago I missed my high school graduation because I dropped out, and last night my daughter graduated from high school in the event center at the university where I teach
9 replies 3 reposts 103 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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I want to roast you about some of this but I’m too happy for you. I’ll be back tomorrow
2 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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It’s weird that me, a very young guy, is mostly friends with all the old guys at the gym, who are clearly all older than me (who is young)
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Smart
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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I realized I’m technically old enough to have a mid-life crisis and tbh this might be the thing that causes my mid-life crisis
2 replies 0 reposts 16 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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it’s so weird that my a-hole and my b-hole are the same thing
0 replies 4 reposts 16 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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I don’t have a joke but I’m imagining seeing an octopus at the gym and being annoyed bc like hey bro save some machines for the rest of us
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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on world goth day I’d like to extend an invitation to all goths to murder me but in a sexy goth way
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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Stone Cold Jane Austen
@abbyhiggs.bsky.social
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Doctor: Hello. Thanks for being patient Me: Hello. Thanks for being doctor
1 replies 37 reposts 206 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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I don’t think I have DMs here yet but once I do i will be sending photos of puppies to everyone
2 replies 1 reposts 10 likes
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m@thew
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
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u know when ur a kid and ur parents make u do the dishes and u do a really just like really really shitty job hoping they never ask u again
1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Pretty much exactly this
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Ok
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Genuinely starting to think Biden doesn’t even want to win the election
2 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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lol like how did these species make it
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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It’s so weird to remember that all animals used to be wild animals. Imagine how disconcerting it’d be to just like stumble upon a pack of poodles in the wilderness.
1 replies 7 reposts 37 likes
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Dan Fellars
@dfellars.bsky.social
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I’d offer that a plea in the documents case.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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When Trump is found guilty of crimes one of the punishments should be to make him play golf on live TV
5 replies 17 reposts 150 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Barron Trump OnlyFans
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Happy birthday, guys named Patrick
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Mara Wilson
@marawilson.bsky.social
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Ever dress in what you think is a nice outfit and then look at a billboard on your way home and see a Better Call Saul-style attorney wearing the same top as you
35 replies 23 reposts 397 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
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Agreed
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@sortabad.bsky.social
[ View ] |
lol
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes