Hi, it’s Abby. Yep.

@abbycohenwl.bsky.social

3567 followers 698 following 4283 posts

Pants n' things. Here's my posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:awyncbnck2xzf4obkdqep7ms/feed/aaaovdhpfgmmm

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 01:54 UTC

the stars on the american flag represent the number of movies Samuel L Jackson did in 2004

4 replies 42 reposts 336 likes

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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 11:41 UTC

when I was a child, I thought smart people were in charge. when I got older, I realized you didn't have to be smart to be in charge. but the piece that was hardest to learn is that no one is really in charge at all. no one's going to fix it beyond us.

26 replies 169 reposts 1136 likes

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Johnny Normality (Feral Mode) @probgobl.in
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:25 UTC

You sir, just lost my vote.

9 replies 19 reposts 176 likes

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 14:34 UTC

248 years ago today, Jesus gave birth to a pile of guns

4 replies 79 reposts 351 likes

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:04 UTC

July 4th is very rough on my dog (he is a royalist and considers George Washington a traitor)

40 replies 897 reposts 4615 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 04:11 UTC

The more you know 💫

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:45 UTC

Re: porn nerd www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/11...

3 replies 2 reposts 23 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 04:09 UTC

Congrats!

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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nige @sensualdad.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 04:02 UTC

i once challenged burt reynolds to a chest hair competition and the loser had to star in deliverance

2 replies 8 reposts 24 likes

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Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:18 UTC

Requiem For A Dream… On Ice

9 replies 17 reposts 89 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:14 UTC

The Inside Out characters in my head

0 replies 3 reposts 23 likes

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RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 12:28 UTC

Dogs hate fireworks because, like all higher creatures, they detest war.

3 replies 78 reposts 455 likes

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 23:46 UTC

[first day as a librarian] Customer: where are the do-it-yourself books Me: i’m pretty sure we just have books that are made already

0 replies 16 reposts 87 likes

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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 20:39 UTC

My crow brought back the shiny pinky ring of a mobster and now we’re on the run.

2 replies 11 reposts 46 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 19:48 UTC

💜

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 18:08 UTC

Aging is the least of this lunatic's problems

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:48 UTC

Hahaha

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Kaitlin Ruiz @kaitlinruiz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:45 UTC

has there been an oral history on how they figured out jay johnston stormed the capitol

2 replies 1 reposts 8 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:47 UTC

Aw! 💗

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Boog @boogtweets.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:44 UTC

There is no greater betrayal than when you ask Siri to find a Starbucks and you arrive to find out it’s inside a store.

2 replies 2 reposts 11 likes

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Dave Amiott @damiott.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:27 UTC

Heading out to the stores to pick up all that sweet half-price Independence.

0 replies 2 reposts 9 likes

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Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:38 UTC

🎶 because your abyss, your abyss is on my list 🎶

2 replies 16 reposts 54 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:41 UTC

Thanks!

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:38 UTC

Ha!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff @fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 15:09 UTC

I should be cleaning something but instead I will drink enough caffeine to see quarks.

1 replies 5 reposts 16 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:07 UTC

I originally wrote this when I was doing tech support, based on my own experience. I get it

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:09 UTC

Some people call tech support to fix their loneliness

4 replies 10 reposts 28 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 09:54 UTC

Me: Fuck…I need a break from the constant barrage of American politics. UK Politics: How do you do, my good sir?

6 replies 41 reposts 123 likes

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 15:47 UTC

Welcome to the scratch paper museum please crumple up the guest book and miss the trash can

1 replies 66 reposts 129 likes

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 16:03 UTC

men's soap? is using a forest scented soap gonna burn my tits off or what

36 replies 82 reposts 277 likes

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 14:58 UTC

Stop doing things for shits and giggles. You’re just making the Shits and Giggles Fairy stronger. Hungrier…

0 replies 22 reposts 58 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 19:02 UTC

Your honor, you’re a tool of the man

1 replies 18 reposts 61 likes

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fredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social
[ View ] Apr 05, 2024 at 12:21 UTC

me: let me tell you about the fast and the furious movies him: no spoilers me: i assure you there are a ton

3 replies 33 reposts 130 likes

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zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 21:52 UTC

jim henson’s son looks like what if tywin lannister was Nice

3 replies 15 reposts 119 likes

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 23:59 UTC

I painted small rocks like M&Ms

40 replies 63 reposts 583 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 13:42 UTC

I see now what you’re talking about 😞

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:32 UTC

I hope you get back to happy

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 00:18 UTC

Anniversary Gifts By Year: 1 = Paper (money) 2 = Cotton (balls with antiseptic) 3 = Opinions (can it and LISTEN TO ME) 4 = Fruit (omg, not apples. YAWN) 5 = Wood (sorry, I have a headache)

0 replies 14 reposts 32 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 00:16 UTC

I'm glad to hear you're running it! I had a short FC tenure but hope to come again one day and hang out. That place in particular is a lovely place to people-watch! 💗

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 23:43 UTC

Have a great Fair! I have stopped going but I miss it (but not enough to go at this point)

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 22:47 UTC

I don't understand. I keep posting why are things still terrible

5 replies 54 reposts 166 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 04:24 UTC

Perfect, thx

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 01:31 UTC

Flattening a penny at the zoo makes it worthless unless your currency is frivolity.

8 replies 33 reposts 104 likes

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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 03:20 UTC

I hit a squirrel and totaled my Smart car.

2 replies 8 reposts 21 likes

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 03:19 UTC

all food sold commercially should have a big lump of chocolate in the bottom like Drumsticks

12 replies 23 reposts 202 likes

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 04:55 UTC

Just heard a poem about a man from Nantucket. Apparently, he had a huge cock

3 replies 3 reposts 45 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 03:37 UTC

Thank you for your service

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 00:38 UTC

GOOD IDEA

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 22:47 UTC

I don't understand. I keep posting why are things still terrible

5 replies 54 reposts 166 likes

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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 20:44 UTC

Supreme Court Week In Review •The President must be above the law in order to effectively run the country. •Chevron must be above the law in order to effectively run the country.

1 replies 13 reposts 55 likes