Gian D’Oh's avatar

Gian D’Oh

@giandoh.bsky.social

562 followers 508 following 1113 posts

Chronic masticator. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3k6pticv2dusa7t3xjwmd56n/feed/aaae4jf3gqzpw

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Mötley Crüe 1989: Smokin In The Boys Room Mötley Crüe, 2024: Zynnin In The Gender-Neutral Washroom

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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This Biden presidency is getting old.

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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The plural of booth is beeth. And when restaurants are young, they go through the painful process of beething.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.

22 replies 438 reposts 1605 likes

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Katie Didn’t's avatar Katie Didn’t @porkchophair.bsky.social
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If I arrive at your party and you ask me to help cut up the pineapple, I’m mad at you.

3 replies 21 reposts 57 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Put me in couch I’m ready to lay Today

1 replies 7 reposts 15 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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House guests are like fish. They both have scales and gills and shit weird little strings that follow them around until a shark eats them.

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Sure, sex is good, but have you ever had houseguests leave?

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Is there such a thing as physician-assisted seppuku?

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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I guess the performance-enhancing drugs haven’t kicked in yet.

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Where is Chuck Barris and his gong when we need them?

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Dude. We’re fucked. And not in the good way.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Biden’s voice is so thin, Paris Hilton wants to know who its personal trainer is.

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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I for one do not welcome our eventual MAGA overlords. But rest assured, if Biden’s the nominee, that’s what we’ll get.

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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I regret that I have but one life to give to my eating of seafood.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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We’re all gradually turning into that guy carrying a bundle of sticks on his back from that Led Zeppelin album cover

9 replies 41 reposts 120 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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Heads up – there’s a lone hubcap on the shoulder of the last curve at the bottom of Pine Hills if you’re missing one or looking for an objet d’art

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Visited “The Exorcist” steps today in Washington. Skipped down them like a man possessed!

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Boebert won? Well isn’t that…. handy.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Popsicle Reggaethresher Countrymachete Hiphophoe

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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You don’t intimidate me, you’re not a push/pull door.

6 replies 66 reposts 202 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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People who say “I hate to break it to you” actually can’t wait to break it to you.

10 replies 60 reposts 168 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Açaí is just açaí. -Sam from Casablanca, ordering a smoothie

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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You call this room temperature water? It’s tepid! -eskimos

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Metallica: Enter Sandman Sandman: Not so fast!

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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My autobiography, “Death By A Capella,” foretells my untimely demise at the hands of a ruthless cabal of insufferable collegiate chanteuses wearing white cable-knit sweaters loosely tied around their shoulders, their perfectly aligned, pearly teeth glinting in the murderous moonlight.

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Olivia Newton John’s middle name is derived from the fact that her center is entirely made up of ground figs.

0 replies 7 reposts 21 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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The only thing I remember about the 90’s was stepping outside, taking a deep breath, getting real high and screaming WHAT’S GOING ON

11 replies 66 reposts 261 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Do flat earthers also doubt the existence of mountains? Hills? Mounds? Buttes? Kuppes? Escarpments? Mesas? Knolls? I mean, come on, all the conspiracy theories about JFK‘s assassination took place on a grassy knoll. Conspiracy theorist love a good knoll, right?!

1 replies 3 reposts 3 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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If you’re wondering how punctuation can be used to create suspense,

5 replies 77 reposts 147 likes

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊's avatar 🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.bsky.social
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the corn dog in me recognizes the corn dog in you

1 replies 34 reposts 73 likes

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Frankenfreckle's avatar Frankenfreckle @neptunian9.bsky.social
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On casual Fridays I wear a hammock.

2 replies 25 reposts 70 likes

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Viktor Winetrout's avatar Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
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Is it “Captain Crunch” or “Cap’n Crunch”? I want this sext to be perfect

15 replies 52 reposts 312 likes

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Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Jake_Vig's avatar Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social
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People should come with a "skip intro" button

9 replies 39 reposts 186 likes

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Jason, ex Inferis's avatar Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
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Whoever invented the envelope was cooking. Need more office supplies I can lick.

16 replies 89 reposts 262 likes

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Little Greenis's avatar Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
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Blue balls in French should be called sac le blue.

1 replies 12 reposts 34 likes

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Minister of Loneliness's avatar Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
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If we ever find a way to monetize bad decisions I’m gonna be so fuckin rich.

6 replies 32 reposts 62 likes

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Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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So, God cast out Satan to hell, and he’s still such a good dude that he manages all the worst souls that Heaven won’t take in? For free? I’d sit that shit out but the devil is totally cool with pro bono management of the accumulation of assholedom?!

2 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

Gian D’Oh's avatar Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social
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Toilet paper so coarse it hosts an AM radio sports talk show.

0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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-hey dad wanna play catch? -you betcha son! *son immediately throws ball into an endless patch of tick-infested poison ivy

3 replies 18 reposts 85 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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Baby wood ducks hurl themselves 60’ from nests high up in tree cavities a day after they hatch but sure son, I can bring your laundry downstairs

1 replies 28 reposts 72 likes

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊's avatar 🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Things costing more than $1 at the dollar store is why I have trust issues.

3 replies 35 reposts 88 likes

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Jake_Vig's avatar Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social
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The new "walk of shame" is walking back to a Cybertruck in a crowded parking lot.

5 replies 71 reposts 504 likes

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Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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teacher: what does “agnostic” mean? me: I don’t know teacher: correct! how about “ambivalent”? me: *shrug* teacher: yes! how about “nihilistic”? me: what difference does any of this make? teacher: amazing

6 replies 135 reposts 438 likes