Little Greenis

@durtmchurtt.bsky.social

612 followers 126 following 437 posts

Jerkules.

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:49 UTC

Surely we could have found newer kids on the block by now.

0 replies 4 reposts 9 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Ygrene ✔️ @ygrene.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 21:53 UTC

[arriving in hell] Satan: welco- Me: hit me with a plate of your eggs bro Satan: Me: (sprinkling motion) with the paprika

12 replies 211 reposts 1011 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 22:02 UTC

Orcas poop? Whale shiiiiit.

1 replies 5 reposts 14 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 14:03 UTC

Impossible to respect the spider who builds a web across my front doorway. You did no research, you fool, no reconnaissance at all.

7 replies 70 reposts 371 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 00:42 UTC

Nice nice.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 00:41 UTC

Did Johnson tell you that?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 12:08 UTC

Penis enhancement pills are based on junk science.

2 replies 12 reposts 30 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:20 UTC

[being ejected from a car] ʜɪꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙʀᴏᴡꜱᴇʀ MY DELETE

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Royotathon🚘 @royotathon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 17:19 UTC

Gordon Ramsay: YOU CALL THIS FUCKING MACARONI!? Yankee Doodle: *fighting back tears* YES CHEF

8 replies 85 reposts 372 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 12:25 UTC

Gonna lose my shit if Will I Am's gravestone doesn't say Will I Was

2 replies 10 reposts 38 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 13:51 UTC

So broke growing up I had to wear Air Gordons.

0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 00:14 UTC

Funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

3 replies 46 reposts 146 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 13:32 UTC

Just pooped, peed and orgasmed. The toilet really is a one stop shop.

2 replies 12 reposts 22 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 13:49 UTC

Blink once if you’re in trouble, blink 26 times if you have something caught in your eye.

0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 00:47 UTC

😂

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 19:04 UTC

Blue balls in French should be called sac le blue.

1 replies 12 reposts 33 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 17:10 UTC

Scientists have discovered a new sarcastic element, it’s called Ohreallyum.

0 replies 6 reposts 12 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 16:02 UTC

Good to know 👍

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 15:16 UTC

Do Pop Tarts celebrate Father’s Day?

2 replies 3 reposts 7 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 13:10 UTC

ME: *points at my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* CO-WORKER: *points at his own "World's Greatest Dad" shirt* ME: *takes a sip from my "World's Greatest Dad" mug* CO-WORKER: *sips from his own "World's Greatest Dad" mug* ME: [eyes narrow] *draws "World's Greatest Dad" sword*

13 replies 90 reposts 448 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 14:09 UTC

Stork: I have a baby. Pigeon: I have the mail. Canary: I have bad news.

23 replies 257 reposts 1062 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 19:56 UTC

[breakdancing on a cardboard box] HOMELESS PERSON: my house!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 10:47 UTC

My lord.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 03:24 UTC

*gets last year’s dad out of the attic*

0 replies 24 reposts 87 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 01:24 UTC

[convincing girlfriend to try sushi] You’ve eaten a raw pop tart, right??

1 replies 16 reposts 36 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 00:57 UTC

When I make out with my imaginary girlfriend it looks like I’m pretending to play the tuba.

1 replies 4 reposts 16 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 00:51 UTC

A woman said “get out of town” after telling her a funny story so I uprooted my entire family and moved to Saskatchewan.

0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

@kattsdogma.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 03, 2023 at 14:13 UTC

my dads favorite word was “ubiquitous” he used it all the time, every day, repeatedly, incessantly . i wish i knew what it meant

4 replies 63 reposts 175 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 20:10 UTC

A magician’s date pulling an endless stream of tied together penises out of his pants.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 23:13 UTC

Thought bulkhead meant buying blowjobs at Costco.

0 replies 7 reposts 16 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 17:21 UTC

This is awful, I love it.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 15:11 UTC

if a salesman comes to your door with nutritional supplements be sure to invitamin

3 replies 17 reposts 44 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 22:36 UTC

Follow me for more line hacks.

8 replies 39 reposts 150 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 10, 2024 at 12:03 UTC

Why “mom aura” and not mombiance.

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 13:56 UTC

Why a lantern and not a roamin’ candle?

0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 02:37 UTC

MECHANIC: you need a new tail light FIREFLY: oh no

1 replies 22 reposts 80 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Ygrene ✔️ @ygrene.bsky.social
[ View ] May 26, 2024 at 18:05 UTC

the best topping for a hotdog (an eagle cries in the distance) is another hotdog

3 replies 38 reposts 122 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social
[ View ] May 27, 2024 at 17:05 UTC

Kid: *breaks a branch off a tree* Tree: ok what the fuck Kid: *starts hitting the tree with the branch* Tree: OK WHAT THE FUCK

8 replies 46 reposts 552 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] Apr 06, 2024 at 01:34 UTC

Nobody puts baby in a corndog.

12 replies 64 reposts 196 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 08, 2024 at 14:35 UTC

Hugging wasn’t enough, last night i went tree fucking.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Dan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 08, 2024 at 12:57 UTC

chicken fingers? bro they’re called talons

1 replies 25 reposts 61 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

And He Joked Again @andyjokedagain.bsky.social
[ View ] Sep 03, 2023 at 00:38 UTC

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Frankenberry is not the cereal. He's the guy who CREATED the cereal. The cereal is his monster.

3 replies 108 reposts 352 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 22:53 UTC

Alexa light my home on fire

1 replies 10 reposts 29 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 08, 2024 at 02:01 UTC

You’re darn diddly!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 19:56 UTC

Fishing rod implies the existence of a fishing Todd and fishing Maude.

1 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 20:33 UTC

I’m built different (just hands coming out of my shoulders with no arms)

0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 14:37 UTC

Video games gave me very unrealistic expectations of the healing properties of rotisserie chicken.

49 replies 231 reposts 1148 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

filth_waste @filth-waste.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 14, 2023 at 03:56 UTC

ok then how do clown posse’s normally act

5 replies 113 reposts 409 likes

Reposted by Little Greenis

Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 18:32 UTC

*covered in rotisserie chicken grease* hey you

12 replies 58 reposts 165 likes