Jerry's avatar

Jerry

@allhailjerry.bsky.social

343 followers 219 following 899 posts

Headache.

Marketing admin for River Side Casino: @riversidecasino.bsky.social

My posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xmlxuck3ds7hbgl37iuut3kr/feed/aaafaaongqdyc

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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No blisters but bruised arches if not broken in slowly. Painful.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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Had them 10-15 years ago. Once feet are adjusted to them, they are great. No more than 20 minutes walking in them per day the first 3-4 days.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Minister of Loneliness's avatar Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
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I’m sorry driving a Jeep™️ is 97% of your personality.

4 replies 31 reposts 66 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I’ll sign up for Hell right now if I get the job of torturing the person who wrote the Jardiance jingle.

1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

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bee lake's avatar bee lake @leemanish.bsky.social
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a woman knocked on my door and said that this was the house she grew up in - and asked if she could come in and look around? She seemed sweet, so I said sure - but now she's been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes?

11 replies 5 reposts 111 likes

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The Real Kim Shady 's avatar The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social
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i’ll either feed you from my mouth like a baby bird or cut your safety cord. you decide

0 replies 8 reposts 13 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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Hey, I just found a great source of unconditional love: The Internet.

2 replies 9 reposts 30 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Whenever I hear someone say “Vengeance is mine” I think “How selfish. Vengeance belongs to all of us.”

2 replies 58 reposts 140 likes

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Jake_Vig's avatar Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social
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"[Godzilla noise]" - Godzilla

7 replies 44 reposts 161 likes

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Gretchen von Tongeln's avatar Gretchen von Tongeln @metalligretch.bsky.social
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Only assassins can pull off cheek implants.

1 replies 2 reposts 12 likes

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River Side Casino's avatar River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Please do not give ghostly hitchhiker "Weeping Molly" a ride to our casino.

2 replies 15 reposts 47 likes

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mean things I say to myself's avatar mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social
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I highly recommend setting up a Google Alert for your own name so you can see what you are up to in alternate universes and timelines

7 replies 18 reposts 67 likes

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Lostcatdog 's avatar Lostcatdog @lostcatdog.bsky.social
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*prone on the couch for so long my eye starts migrating to the other side of my head like a flounder* oh what now

0 replies 6 reposts 18 likes

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lanyardigan's avatar lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social
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Drank a Monster and now feel like a (you guessed it) Special Child of God

3 replies 12 reposts 72 likes

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Bliss's avatar Bliss @blisskissed.bsky.social
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If you say Bloody Mary 3 times fast in the bathroom mirror, cans of V-8 will fall from the ceiling.

0 replies 5 reposts 23 likes

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊's avatar 🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Inventing a generator that runs on corn dogs and corn dog-precursors

2 replies 21 reposts 45 likes

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Chris Steller's avatar Chris Steller @chrissteller.bsky.social
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I want to move somewhere with low humidity where no one likes ranch dressing.

14 replies 6 reposts 40 likes

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Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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raccoons will get in your trash when you leave it out for pickup and display all your dirty secrets to the neighborhood

10 replies 52 reposts 144 likes

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Viktor Winetrout's avatar Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
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If Jesus wore a man bun there would be no Christianity

1 replies 7 reposts 31 likes

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futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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I am often curious about curiosities

3 replies 27 reposts 50 likes

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alygory's avatar alygory @alygory.bsky.social
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My wife and I are the meme in bed where she’s wondering what’s keeping me up. I am wondering if Scott Aukerman’s career has resulted in more good than evil for the world.

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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Kinda sucks that society squandered the phrase "funky bunch" so irresponsibly

0 replies 8 reposts 40 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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They aren't prison tattoos. I actually got these bad boys at a Facts Of Life fan convention.

0 replies 2 reposts 3 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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On average, 5500 of your social media posts equals one 300-page novel. So that's a positive?

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

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River Side Casino's avatar River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social
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Ask your VIP host to take you to see the polished skulls.

2 replies 10 reposts 29 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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If you were in a band in the 90s and didn’t date Winona Ryder for at least 3 days, your band was even worse than Soul Asylum.

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

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futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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my quick reflexes come from maintaining the volume control during an action movie

1 replies 38 reposts 87 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I don't like to stink up the house so I'll use the car's seat warmers to grill fish.

1 replies 3 reposts 13 likes

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BEAVE ²'s avatar BEAVE ² @beaveinflow.bsky.social
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pharmacist: can you spell out the name of the prescription you want refilled please? me: absolutely, it’s C-H-E-E-T-O-S

7 replies 48 reposts 127 likes

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Jake_Vig's avatar Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social
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"Friends with benefits," but the "benefit" is that we're not friends.

2 replies 27 reposts 86 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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My grandma is upset with me because I’m not tech savvy.

6 replies 28 reposts 119 likes

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Jeff's avatar Jeff @usedwigs.bsky.social
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Leave him alone, you get very emotional during a big race, I once stopped to buy a root beer float during a marathon

2 replies 1 reposts 36 likes

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Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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It's funny in Return Of The Jedi when the gang tricks the Ewoks with a false golden god so that many will die in a war that doesn't involve them.

5 replies 7 reposts 73 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I almost posted to the wrong account, like some kind of congressperson.

1 replies 3 reposts 19 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I always feel weird at the end of a fiction reading when I stuff dollar bills in the writer's sweater vest.

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

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Cap’n Watsisname's avatar Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Being born on the Fourth of July doesn’t make you a Yankee Doodle Dandy. You gotta earn that shit.

3 replies 19 reposts 43 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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@Mojavefonebooth also had a great one that seems to have disappeared but I'll never forget it: "Anyone else notice how many oddly spectacular aerial shots there are on Clark Kent's Flickr account?"

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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I got an MBA from Jerk College which, long story short...

0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes