|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When I die, Iβd like my bones to be played like a xylophone by a giant purple gorilla
7 replies 36 reposts 85 likes
|
|
mean things I say to myself@meantomyself.bsky.social |
2192 followers 1809 following 1371 posts
Too tired and crusty to write content for Clorox. Third wife material. Follow the nipples of your intuition. Don't ever explain.
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaaoms63lvrkk
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When I die, Iβd like my bones to be played like a xylophone by a giant purple gorilla
7 replies 36 reposts 85 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My Jungian Shadow is wearing a puka shell necklace
0 replies 11 reposts 24 likes
|
Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
4 replies 49 reposts 124 likes
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
βKeto friendlyβ bitch ainβt nobody friendly on keto
1 replies 28 reposts 80 likes
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
βHey, my eyes are up h- Fuck it, theyβre all over the place. Just stop staring at my tits or Iβll bite your head off.β - spiders, probably
0 replies 15 reposts 20 likes
|
d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
raise your hand if youβve accidentally joined a polycule while checking out at Trader Joeβs
9 replies 30 reposts 90 likes
|
|
mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My brand is always π€‘ so I don't see the issue
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The way I act when I have a crush is very not on brand
1 replies 23 reposts 56 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Allβs fair in love and war. TRANSLATION: Nothingβs fair in love and war.
1 replies 24 reposts 50 likes
|
|
mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is how committed I am to being celibate
12 replies 18 reposts 100 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That was just a regular accident to a freak like me
0 replies 29 reposts 67 likes
|
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My band in high school was called Extra Seconds On The Microwave and we were about as annoying as the name implies
7 replies 16 reposts 75 likes
|
Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fortunes on kazoo paper, humming on cookies. "What. It's bring your parallel universe to leisure day."
1 replies 23 reposts 33 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When I refer to myself as a βstallion,β I just mean that if you give me peanut butter, Iβll probably talk to you
2 replies 39 reposts 143 likes
|
|
Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
my dog shakes his head in the middle of guests on my porch sending giant dog drool flying. They yell "eww!" and he gets so excited they're celebrating him he can't stop wagging his tail
12 replies 54 reposts 347 likes
|
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Grandma still thinks LOL means lots of love and itβs like lmao learn to google you dumb bitch
3 replies 23 reposts 72 likes
|
Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
[ View ] |
when youβre weak in the knees from the butter and cheese thatβs a mornay
3 replies 30 reposts 83 likes
|
Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Call a bowl a bowl? Off with their feet I'd say in my queenest of ways and it's fingers for diamonds but as queen of clubs run off with their sandwiches oh for hearts sake I'd just eat them
0 replies 28 reposts 43 likes
|
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What if I drank 10 different alcohols in the name of freedom then what
10 replies 23 reposts 80 likes
|
|
Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If this laptop is actually the waffle you use to organize all your extra keycaps then why did the geek squad replace the motherboard in my syrup
1 replies 35 reposts 72 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Me: Fuckβ¦I need a break from the constant barrage of American politics. UK Politics: How do you do, my good sir?
6 replies 41 reposts 123 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Criss Angel is just David Copperfield for people who never met their father.
2 replies 33 reposts 94 likes
|
Adam Sharp
@adamcsharp.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A list of eight cute animal rhymes to say farewell... 8. In a while, crocodile 7. Toodle-oo, kangaroo 6. Ciao for now, Jersey cow 5. Why you still here, white-tailed deer 4. Just piss off, luna moth 3. Go to hell, red gazelle 2. Kiss my hole, woodland vole 1. Off you fuck, crested duck
28 replies 144 reposts 505 likes
|
Seth Trueger
@mdaware.org
[ View ] |
incidentally I am an emergency physician and I use a walker
38 replies 219 reposts 1323 likes
|
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Finally getting a chance to play βNot Like Usβ for the whole family and grandma is INTO THAT SHIT
0 replies 16 reposts 52 likes
|
Leif Malone
@thetroops.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When I was in college, we had a gag where any time someone couldn't remember a movie name, we'd suggest they were talking about Powder. Then one year, my brother got me this for my birthday. Good times.
5 replies 6 reposts 44 likes
|
Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
RIP Thomas Jefferson you would have loved rotel cheese dip
3 replies 30 reposts 88 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sonic Youth is their childrenβs menu, right?
4 replies 46 reposts 97 likes
|
Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Donβt worry, everyone gets a hot dog. If the store is open. Half a hot dog, minimum.
0 replies 12 reposts 21 likes
|
|
Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Love your initiative, Timmy, but we donβt have time for hot dogs from scratch
0 replies 31 reposts 59 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nice stars, bro. Spangle βem yourself
3 replies 54 reposts 173 likes
|
|
Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Being born on the Fourth of July doesnβt make you a Yankee Doodle Dandy. You gotta earn that shit.
3 replies 18 reposts 41 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Might just fuck around and admit between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
3 replies 32 reposts 84 likes
|
|
Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I donβt have a dog so I celebrate July 4th with those cucumbers that freak out my cat.
3 replies 31 reposts 75 likes
|
|
Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I could only recommend one follow on bsky, it would be @tuskjenkins.bsky.social hands down no question just the best of everything
11 replies 28 reposts 85 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
One of the best and and most original @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
|
|
Capβn Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If I could only take one recommendation it would be this one.
0 replies 6 reposts 12 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I get so irked by other people in Jeeps waving that a guy in a Nissan just waved at me and I thought I was losing it. Lowkey forgot kindness existed
0 replies 20 reposts 50 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Kingdom Animalia, Class Insecta
1 replies 14 reposts 40 likes
|
|
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I was raised by mountain people who taught me to be my own starter pack
3 replies 19 reposts 51 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Using my one Fourth of July wish from the skoal long cut fairy to make professional wrestling real
4 replies 34 reposts 132 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.
22 replies 426 reposts 1531 likes
|
|
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Convinced that no one will ever love me based on my rudimentary understanding of how a compass works
8 replies 47 reposts 127 likes
|
|
Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
men's soap? is using a forest scented soap gonna burn my tits off or what
36 replies 82 reposts 278 likes
|
|
Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Anemone, as you know, means too many little hugs in a friendship is sneaky and carnivorous
5 replies 32 reposts 50 likes
|
|
mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
[ View ] |
July 4th, at best, is a deeply nostalgic holiday, and since I am headed to my parents' for an overcooked hamburger on the grill, I might go full 80s kid: use a Rocket Pop for lip balm & chew gum and stick it in my jean skirt pocket. My mom will love it as much when I am 45 as she did when I was 4
1 replies 6 reposts 31 likes
|
|
π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Why yes, I am a DOG person. (Delusions Of Grandeur)
0 replies 21 reposts 44 likes