Brock

@brockteee.bsky.social

237 followers 292 following 165 posts

Husband, Father, and Purveyor of Sensible Nonsense

Reposted by Brock

d.ly @dly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:20 UTC

no one warned me the vibe would just keep shifting

8 replies 40 reposts 153 likes

Reposted by Brock

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

HILF (homie I’d like to flatter)

2 replies 53 reposts 118 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 01:57 UTC

This is the vibe I’m bringing to the Fourth of July party

16 replies 49 reposts 241 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 22:13 UTC

There’s a frog in Africa that breaks its toes and shoves the bones out through its skin for a weapon when it is scared and i also do this

10 replies 63 reposts 176 likes

Reposted by Brock

Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 23:41 UTC

I need a gun holster for my chicken legs

5 replies 27 reposts 56 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 14:08 UTC

2 years now in the gym for me.I came straight from the couch, never exercised at all. I felt lethargic and tired all the time, no motivation. Now I feel better than ever and can bench 200lbs! You may not think you're a "gym person" but even if you start small and stay consistent, it's life changing!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 21:08 UTC

Heard it's indestructible

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 21:06 UTC

I think some colonial stockings might come in handy to keep mosquitoes off your legs on the 4th.

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 14:15 UTC

Siri how do I write a joke that won’t draw misogynistic douchebaggery? I’m sorry but there are no jokes that fit your description

14 replies 41 reposts 154 likes

Reposted by Brock

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 15:08 UTC

If I wipe my hands on your decorative towels I'm trying to say I believe you can become a person of substance

11 replies 77 reposts 203 likes

Reposted by Brock

SethFromThe716 @sethfromthe716.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 07:54 UTC

What do you call a cowboy who belches loudly while trying not to vomit? Wyatt URRRRRRRRRP

1 replies 6 reposts 13 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 15:41 UTC

Siri is a real one

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Brock

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 12:39 UTC

My favorite conspiracy theory is that the number of pulls on the chain to turn off a fan changes every time

14 replies 79 reposts 321 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 13:47 UTC

AI is coming for your job and I will thoroughly enjoy finally getting exactly what I asked for on my burger.

0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 13:19 UTC

I sat up under fireworks this weekend and had ashes raining down on me, otherwise known as micro-dosing the apocalypse.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Brock

T @mamafirefly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 04:33 UTC

Maybe my kink is The Kinks you don’t know

2 replies 14 reposts 44 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 20:55 UTC

Not all heroes wear capes made of dollar bills.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 20:52 UTC

I have this special skill...when it's hot outside, my body emits gallons of water.

0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 19:59 UTC

or showing your can

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 19:34 UTC

As the social media proverb goes... if you're tan in the sand, you must be holding a can.

1 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

Reposted by Brock

Ashley, Inc @ashleysays.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 19:33 UTC

OD’ing on Diet Coke and starbursts. Don’t bother me.

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 19:08 UTC

He's your guardian angel

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Brock

Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 13:45 UTC

My boss accused me of Quiet Quitting even though I’m literally shooting off bottle rockets in the parking deck right now

1 replies 30 reposts 98 likes

Reposted by Brock

Pot Shop Boy @potshopboy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 06:08 UTC

No, I don't eat a lot of red meat. It turns brown when I cook it.

7 replies 35 reposts 234 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 11:50 UTC

apparently the old guys from the muppet’s balcony got in a big argument last night?

17 replies 107 reposts 393 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 13:43 UTC

I missed the debate but from what I hear, both the red and blue bots' software need updating, but those models are no longer compatible with the latest updates.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Brock

James @tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 23:33 UTC

Vibes? No. I go off smell alone.

1 replies 7 reposts 27 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 14:27 UTC

Thanks for the extra stuffing in my biceps

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 14:19 UTC

oh my god, you might be right!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 14:01 UTC

When someone says they need to "touch base" with you on something, that just means they want to play tag.

1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

Reposted by Brock

🔻Gill Kaiman🇵🇸🇱🇧🇾🇪🔻 @billkezos.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 19:53 UTC

i do not wish to be Involved in Things anymore

2 replies 5 reposts 53 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:58 UTC

i’m sorry but i can’t come to work today it’s too inconvenient

6 replies 71 reposts 225 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 15:18 UTC

Don’t hesitate to reach out? And expose the vulnerable part of my wrist?

5 replies 51 reposts 134 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:48 UTC

sheer talent

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:47 UTC

Deep down I'm still thinking about that loaf of bread I crushed before making it home from the store.

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Brock

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 16:58 UTC

I use the toaster oven in the bathtub just like everyone else

6 replies 39 reposts 112 likes

Reposted by Brock

turbo jerry @turbojerry.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 16:36 UTC

*day old coffee sitting on my desk* me: don’t mind if i do

8 replies 14 reposts 75 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 14:25 UTC

Hooters is shutting down a lot of locations, which is very shocking, but even more surprising that an owl themed restaurant lasted that long.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Brock

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 07:16 UTC

Bsky is a figment of my imagination

9 replies 23 reposts 79 likes

Reposted by Brock

James @tarnation.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 04:22 UTC

I waste so much money on coffee when my preference is being unconscious.

1 replies 14 reposts 35 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 13:13 UTC

my sweat

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 13:13 UTC

sign me up

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Brock

Parilani 🫧 @parilani.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 20:54 UTC

road sign: FOLLOW DETOUR me: omg a quest

6 replies 41 reposts 95 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 17:16 UTC

I want a cybertruck just to be toxic.

3 replies 5 reposts 10 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 11:38 UTC

i’m happier right now than i’ve been in years and it’s ruining my joke content i need a new trauma

19 replies 49 reposts 217 likes

Brock @brockteee.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 14:07 UTC

I see her the corner of my room every night

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Brock

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 10:20 UTC

to pee or not to pee that is that is the question (i don’t want to get out of bed yet)

12 replies 41 reposts 140 likes