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Erin Eph@erineph.bsky.social |
186 followers 208 following 223 posts
A barren woman.
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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There’s a person in my neighborhood who owns a cybertruck and I have a feeling that if Elon started selling a piss vending machine, this person would put it in their garage
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Travis, bluesky elder
@prof-hinkley.bsky.social
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An 1800s pioneer woman could kill me with one punch
3 replies 32 reposts 141 likes
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky”
@pixelatedboat.bsky.social
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9 replies 194 reposts 1323 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I just watched a hummingbird pluck a spider out of the center of its web and then eat it, and I think the best word for me is “shook”
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Orcspiration
@orcspiration.bsky.social
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DRINK WATER FROM THE SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES! IF YOU HAVE CRUSHED THEIR SKULLS, USE A GLASS.
1 replies 15 reposts 55 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I have yet to enjoy a recipe I saw on a video made by a skinny woman with great skin
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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BayBayFriend
@baybayfriend.bsky.social
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Before becoming a pet owner: lol “dog mom.” cringe. be serious. After becoming a pet owner: he has allergies because he takes after me (his mommy). i gave birth to him on the astral plane, and thus, he inherited my cruel wit and fickle constitution
10 replies 39 reposts 414 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I wish I knew which religions are the toughest nuts to crack if you’re one of those door-to-door religion salespeople
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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Asking me to switch seats on an airplane is like asking me to take out the part of my brain that’s able to do the bare minimum of planning and just place it gently into your dirty, lazy hands
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢
@fleurkenstein.bsky.social
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Baby owls can’t fly properly until they’re nearly 10 weeks old, which you’d know too if you thought about anyone else but yourself, you selfish piece of shit.
3 replies 16 reposts 46 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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The fuck is a no spoons day. I don’t come at life with spoons, find an old pocketknife in a pawn shop and then we’ll talk
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rogs 🤖
@stev.bsky.social
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I can easily pinpoint the other people that are to blame for all my problem
0 replies 3 reposts 16 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I need to see deep into the trenches of the Brightland vs Grazie olive oil influencer wars
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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bridget epitropakis
@bepitropakis.bsky.social
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trump brain aneurysm when
15 replies 4 reposts 111 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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When a neighbor doesn’t turn off their car alarm right away, what we’re mad about is their inability to feel shame
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Blue sky jerk
@rajandelman.bsky.social
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Reminding myself that lots of people have lived in a country ruled by a dictator, if it happens to me I'm not special
0 replies 2 reposts 23 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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How many of my exes ever think of me now and are like “these are the scariest recurring dreams I’ve ever had”
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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As a society we peaked when we started saying “glizzy” instead of “hot dog” but that’s about it
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Running my box fan on "low" so the tech lords have the power they need to take away everything good about the world. It's the least I can do.
0 replies 3 reposts 45 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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Shoutout the the women in my office building who take long, ponderous shits in the shared bathroom and freeze up like a prey animal the moment anyone else enters the room
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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Generally-speaking, I’m more popular in the uglier cities
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Jerry Chen
@jcsalterego.bsky.social
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we're all just gut biomes with internet access
13 replies 108 reposts 564 likes
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Cranny Boy
@crannyboy.bsky.social
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Is this your first time being alive, bro? Is this your first time experiencing all that life has to offer ?
0 replies 3 reposts 18 likes
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mave
@mave.bsky.social
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me: time to check in online and see what merriment is afoot online: here’s a horrifying tale you can do nothing about
0 replies 42 reposts 152 likes
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lanyardigan
@lanyardigan.bsky.social
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(Kermit) why are there so many Shows about murder
7 replies 66 reposts 297 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I’d take people with collections more seriously if said collections weren’t just silly little plastic things you can buy. Go find a cool rock, for gods sake
0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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My hot take is you can’t be nostalgic about a time you didn’t live in, you just like the aesthetics as a substitute for personality
0 replies 3 reposts 13 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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Khakis are still considered part of the Hard Pants category because even when they have elastic, it’s all bunchy and mean, the Soft Pants category does not tolerate that kind of structure
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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I’m an adult smoking a joint and drinking red flavored koolaid on a sunny afternoon, OF COURSE I still can’t stop thinking about The Atrocities
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Orcspiration
@orcspiration.bsky.social
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YOU CANNOT GRIND THE BONES OF YOUR ENEMIES INTO DUST TOMORROW IF YOU DO NOT SATE YOUR THIRST.
0 replies 6 reposts 19 likes
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Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir)
@nora.zone
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it's fucked up that in the united states there are so many jobs that require tips to make a living wage. like baristas and supreme court justices
13 replies 247 reposts 1077 likes
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Nappy Dolemite
@nappydolemite.bsky.social
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I wish I had the manic productive genius kind of mental illness. Instead I just sit here and hate everything.
0 replies 15 reposts 39 likes
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Catbus
@catbus.bsky.social
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supreme court rules 6-3 that pee is stored in the balls
7 replies 54 reposts 261 likes
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simone
@simonee.bsky.social
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the incels have expanded the whole “alpha male/beta male” thing to now include “gamma males” and buddy. that’s just The Incredible Hulk
33 replies 77 reposts 670 likes
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man it's a hot zone,
@mobute.bsky.social
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biden could rebuild his body and his mind with frogtech
3 replies 1 reposts 31 likes
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heiðrún
@harpy.party
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the more gods you have the better the chances one of them will like you and do your terrible bidding
0 replies 5 reposts 18 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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“It’s nice to put a face to the name” - everyone forced into a meeting they wish would just fucking end
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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dan mentos
@danmentos.com
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next debate is on 9/10 and there's only one rule: Do a kickflip
0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes
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bakoon
@bakoon.bsky.social
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one of the things i am looking forward to most about trump dying eventually is seeing less people doing impressions of him, whether in text or on video. he is loud and obnoxious and some people cant help but to mimic him like chimps at the zoo
9 replies 19 reposts 210 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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The worst tweet thieves were always people whose default was “well technically there are no new ideas ever so I’m not stealing, this is just how life is” bsky.app/profile/dell...
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Screaming Pectoriloquy
@caulimovirus.bsky.social
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Every day it feels like that one video of the OSHA inspector walking up to the construction site where the guy almost gets buried alive by faulty shoring and he says “that’s why he can’t be down there” except the solution by the people in charge is to get rid of the OSHA inspector.
3 replies 10 reposts 31 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Life cereal would absolutely kill with an Oops! All Lemons version
5 replies 44 reposts 102 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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My most satisfying fantasy is getting to drive around with a potato gun and I shoot the car of every dipshit who’s looking at their phone while driving
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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The only part of House of the Dragon that’s stuck with me so far is that The Wall is roughly as tall as the Gateway Arch in St. Louis
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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They keep getting to headline Glastonbury and it’s like, don’t you guys know anyone else???
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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ZING
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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martha dumptruck
@octofussy.bsky.social
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a bar with ten TVs playing different selections from The Criterion Collection
3 replies 15 reposts 82 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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What if women just stopped letting Elon Musk’s genitals touch them
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
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It’s so crazy how Coldplay is still a thing in England
2 replies 1 reposts 3 likes