NJ's avatar

NJ

@tashjoeza.bsky.social

307 followers 455 following 4892 posts

"stay golden, you magnificent doofus" (E.W. Niedermeyer)

A rapidly declining millennial // Editor // Kvetcher // South African // Anxious thoughts-haver // (she, they, helluva gay). Avatar by AJ Roach

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I yelled 😂

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I'm sending you the invoice from my next therapy session.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Get people to endorse your fluency in Corvid on LinkedIn.

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Tim Onion's avatar Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social
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"The Bernie Bros and K-Hive appear to be forming an alliance," I say at the 4th of July cookout. An anvil falls out of the sky directly onto my person, killing me instantly. God appears through the clouds. "I did that," he says. Family and friends applaud politely.

32 replies 239 reposts 1694 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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If they don't leave after this intimidation tactic, perhaps call a Catholic priest - exorcism might be in order.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Wait. Tortoise has TERF links? What's the story there? (Not trying to downplay the seriousness of allegations against Gaiman.)

2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

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Meredith Rose's avatar Meredith Rose @mrose.ink
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Apparently the government of the Yucatán recently erected a Poseidon statue on one of their major beaches. It’s a very heavily Mayan area, where people still pray to Chaac, the god of rainfall. They’re now being slammed with 3 hurricanes and significant flooding, leading to memes like this

21 replies 411 reposts 1319 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I can't see your reply...iPhone emoji by any chance?

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Indrapramit Das's avatar Indrapramit Das @indrapramitdas.bsky.social
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Ah for romcoms (queer and not) that look this beautiful again (BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER, 1999).

1 replies 8 reposts 25 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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On Wednesday nights I deliberately bump my THC oil dose because I don't work Thursdays. Which is why I spent 5 full minutes looking from the Tupperware in my right hand to the package in my left to figure out if all my food would fit into the Tupperware*. Drugs are bad, kids. *it did

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Shiv Ramdas's avatar Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv.bsky.social
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The nephew is currently devastated and his life is over he will never experience joy again because his father sent a text saying he was trying to buy him a piranha for his birthday and then sent a correction 3 min later that it was actually pinata

36 replies 70 reposts 680 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Made a throat-slitting gesture. If they reciprocate you need to move to a new place.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I was in a "4 sessions a week, really fit, walking lots" groove until February 2020. I've only just, slowly, started trying again.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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"Refreshes like nothing on..." *a hook enters the skeet, I am dragged away*

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Oh you 😍 I have a long way to go, want to build decent but still subtle arm muscle. And lots of focus on my back and shoulders, for posture and strength.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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The principal investigator of the South African trial of this breakthrough HIV treatment explains what it all means. (Trials were in Uganda and South Africa) 🇺🇬🇿🇦

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Your fave could never (because their posture is probably better).

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Keep trying to type an intelligent response. Can't. Solidarity 🍉

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I have nothing smart or useful to say about how the powerful have put so many in harm's way and refused to do anything to change that. Just, I hope your family and friends are able to keep safe.

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mx elle is eepy's avatar mx elle is eepy @ellearmageddon.bsky.social
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and before you “but what about Hamas?!!?” at me: yes, Hamas is also bad, and i don’t think that a far right religious sect that has overwhelmingly been propped up by Israel and the US is a good long-term political leader for Gaza… … which is largely irrelevant until the genocide stops.

2 replies 3 reposts 35 likes

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mx elle is eepy's avatar mx elle is eepy @ellearmageddon.bsky.social
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as a Jewish person in the US: - yes, antisemitism is happening, and is bad - yes, i actually believe that antisemitism hurts palestinian people too, especially given that palestinian Jews exist - i don’t think my comfort is a priority when the israeli state is mass murdering children in my name

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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I shall embark on any quest Pluto demands.

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Holly Brockwell's avatar Holly Brockwell @hollybrocks.bsky.social
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Pluto, Blep Wizard of the Magical Oven Glove

20 replies 99 reposts 582 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Someone once analysed how many times DM uses the word "knees" in their lyrics. It was a lot and it made me love the band even more, in all its, er, modes.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Recently I've been dreaming of some magic device that, every time a man is shit to women on the internet, simultaneously gives them a powerful electric shock and takes money out of their account, then gives it to the woman in question.

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Robin (she/he-ella/él)'s avatar Robin (she/he-ella/él) @merryrobin.bsky.social
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Lady Six Monkey (Ñuñuu Dzico-Coo-Yodzo) was a queen of the Mixtec city-state of Huachino from approximately 1089 to 1101 in present-day Mexico. Her career is described in many contemporary documents, particularly the Codex Selden. She is best known for her conflict against Eight Deer Jaguar Claw.

1 replies 5 reposts 17 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Maybe there are community kitchens or similar that you could give a couple of pies to? (It's that or eat them all. Isn't that what people do on the 4th, eat way too much?)

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The Onion's avatar The Onion @theonion.com
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According to sources, Biden let out a yelp after the cord sparked, but refused to relinquish the object when Secret Service agents attempted to tug it from his mouth.

2 replies 23 reposts 189 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Did she...just want to know? Like the OP and the orange?

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Link is coconut-pilled. 🥥 🌴 's avatar Link is coconut-pilled. 🥥 🌴 @knilirabaj.bsky.social
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It’s Disability Pride Month and there are people posting inaccessible social media content. Yike.

4 replies 20 reposts 48 likes

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Inspector Ratchet's avatar Inspector Ratchet @1nspectratchet.bsky.social
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My fellow Americans: Don't forget to leave hotdogs on your porch for Jesus tonight 🇺🇲🎆🎇

17 replies 101 reposts 457 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Then there's the "hey you" eye-lock. I did this years ago at my then local gym. She was a cross between a domme and a librarian. Glances exchanged. Promising blushes. I stepped off the treadmill, prepared to approach her...and tripped spectacularly, loudly, over my own feet.

1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Here to 2nd mustard on grilled cheese. Elite.

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NJ's avatar NJ @tashjoeza.bsky.social
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Have been to gym twice in two days so, obviously, since I'm a professional athlete, the massage I've booked tomorrow morning is part of my regimen.

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