The Littlest Oaf

@thelittlestoaf.bsky.social

395 followers 576 following 1235 posts

High class clown. Drummer/Musician. Commercial Photographer. Jaywalking enthusiast. Imagining a different world.

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The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 11, 2024 at 11:26 UTC

"That place is absolutely just a total mess from top to bottom, to front to back, to every single building — even the bridgeway is closed, the air conditioning is gone. It would be a foolish decision (to repair it)," says Premier Doug Ford, while holding an envelope from Silvio De Gasperis.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 22:48 UTC

Ooof.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 16:43 UTC

You could've stopped after the first eight words.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 12:02 UTC

guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"

4 replies 77 reposts 223 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 14:30 UTC

Riding the heat from the kitchen exhaust fan, smelling the smells of what could've been and softly calling out "coo...cooo...coousins..."

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 13:15 UTC

Don't overdew it.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 20:03 UTC

pretty close

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 17:49 UTC

🎶I won't get to cuss God 'til the day I die

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 13:09 UTC

Could be bread?

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Marie Phillips @mariephillips.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 10:26 UTC

Remarkable coincidence when someone is showing you some incubators. (From The New Yorker, July 1st 2024)

7 replies 9 reposts 40 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 11:06 UTC

"Hello", he said, unwittingly quoting a line from Animal Farm nearly word for word.

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 15, 2023 at 20:13 UTC

coward (adv.): in the direction of the cows

3 replies 65 reposts 163 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:30 UTC

Why would I? They’re so expensive!

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:29 UTC

Fuck my stupid eyes for looking at this crap.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:25 UTC

I found a great potato salad recipe that replaces the potatoes with packing peanuts and I’m saving so much money!!

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 13:38 UTC

I hate the way mosquitos move around. If i moved around like that i'd be fired

5 replies 10 reposts 153 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:21 UTC

It really doesn’t hurt.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

mark magark @markedly.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 15:42 UTC

*shoots a hot dog out of a bun like a blow dart*

0 replies 23 reposts 58 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:17 UTC

Hot air balloons are responsible for 96% of global warming. 😠

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 00:14 UTC

Parchment is fantastic as well, but I save it for oveny jobs.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 23:41 UTC

Folks, do yourselves a favour and incorporate waxed paper into your everyday routine. Everything becomes so much easier!

2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

debbshock @debbshock.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 22:50 UTC

menopausal woman in your area wants to kill you NOW!

4 replies 9 reposts 43 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 21:17 UTC

chopping up fat lines of right wingers counting their french nazi eggs before that shit hatched. im getting fucked up tonight boy

4 replies 18 reposts 199 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 20:47 UTC

These goddamn sparrows keep fucking on my roof in broad view of everyone around and it’s so embarrassing. It’s like, look I’m not running a goddamn sparrow whorehouse over here so quit looking at me all judgey, Michelle.

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Carole U. @caroleu.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 16:03 UTC

Punching the air triumphantly? Come on, air doesn’t deserve that.

0 replies 4 reposts 6 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 23:09 UTC

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 15:25 UTC

*speaks into megaphone* FTW means “fuck the world” thank you

6 replies 37 reposts 94 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff @fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 14:48 UTC

"The Final Countdown" was released in 1986 and there have been SO many countdowns since then, I'm not sure what to believe in anymore.

3 replies 14 reposts 45 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Dan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 21:17 UTC

every time you stop making sense David Byrne’s suit grows 2 sizes

11 replies 130 reposts 580 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 20:59 UTC

Happy Saturday, cunts.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 13:34 UTC

I asked the hotel for a wake up call and they told me my skinny jeans and red parka make me look like a lollipop

5 replies 49 reposts 219 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

StefanThinks @stefanthinks.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 14:07 UTC

I stopped using metaphors because you can say something like “You shouldn't burn bridges” and then some metaphor lawyer will try to find a loophole like “What if I have a jetpack?” and then you have to waste time debating the pros and cons of ravine crossing technologies.

2 replies 13 reposts 26 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 13:33 UTC

american werewolves are only in london because they were stolen from the isle of manhattan by the british museum

4 replies 45 reposts 169 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 22:37 UTC

What can I say? It’s my favourite show and I rewatch it often.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 22:34 UTC

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 21:28 UTC

My wife’s got a good eye!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 21:28 UTC

You are now officially their aunt!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 20:09 UTC

today i had a zoom therapy appointment where i cried and ate noodles with my bare hands on camera and she didn’t even blink

26 replies 67 reposts 478 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 20:22 UTC

Sometimes I’ll put a shot glass in my back pocket and walk around town like some obscure Irish proverb

2 replies 32 reposts 69 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 18:53 UTC

This is what I look like in real life:

3 replies 4 reposts 39 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 16:39 UTC

Baby, be the still frozen inside corndog of my heart, Baby.

0 replies 20 reposts 33 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

HILF (homie I’d like to flatter)

2 replies 57 reposts 122 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 15:52 UTC

Get away from me to show me you celebrate my independence

11 replies 85 reposts 195 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 15:14 UTC

This cup of coffee I’m drinking right after my dentist visit tastes like it was made by god.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by The Littlest Oaf

Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 20:16 UTC

Excuse me a moment, I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. (medically induced coma)

5 replies 41 reposts 84 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:36 UTC

Same. Summer is margarita season for me, but more than one just makes makes me start pouring booze down my gullet. I like getting drunk, but now that I’m in my 50’s I’m trying to get my excesses under control.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:31 UTC

Both fine drinks. Rye and ginger isn’t too far off from the latter.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 23:58 UTC

It IS a big decision. What’s your current go to?

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 22:23 UTC

Holy shit Pix!! I’m on my way! Uh, can you drop a pin?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Littlest Oaf @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 22:18 UTC

I don’t agree with your final assessment, but I like them and I’m happy you got to see them together again!

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes