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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
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Damn you guys Benny Franks is DTF
0 replies 2 reposts 15 likes
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Reneé Meredith@wumother.bsky.social |
825 followers 682 following 1030 posts
Shut up and eat your Takis
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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
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Damn you guys Benny Franks is DTF
0 replies 2 reposts 15 likes
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Nate's Myth
@natesmith.dev
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friend: wth man i invite you to the first get-together in my new place and you bring me BEES?! me: you said it was a house-swarming party..
0 replies 6 reposts 10 likes
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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
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Music groups with literal names The Band The Three Tenors Garbage
1 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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You betta slow your sausage smoothie down
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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This is too many things happening at once and to be honest I’m here for it
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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I could write for magazines like Good Housekeeping easy. “Forward-thinking career women on the go know chewing is a fast track to wasted time. Blend your sausage and pancakes and drink them as a smoothie on your way to your next meeting. Your schedule (and your thighs!) will thank you for it.” Easy.
2 replies 5 reposts 14 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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I’ve always fashioned myself a Raven-adjacent type
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
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If I ran Bluesky I'd get rid of likes Each post would be categorized by an algorithm as "not really all that Raven," "somewhat Raven," or "so Raven"
1 replies 13 reposts 38 likes
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Mat™️
@futurekid.bsky.social
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Pictured: alien has been trying to explain blockchain to woman for nearly twenty minutes
0 replies 8 reposts 27 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Any moment now. She just drank something out of an unmarked brown jug, fell down and now there are bluebirds and stars circling above her head
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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A head exploder would be pretty cool
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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It was so bad. I kept sinking farther into my chair just letting the horror gel. This country is…I don’t even know anymore. I want an AOC type to come and save it.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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I take it you, too, watched last night’s debate 😭
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Miss Riss
@missriss.bsky.social
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Me: This is like the collapse of Rome Them: You know the full collapse of Rome took like 250 years Me: The US is 247 yrs old.
8 replies 38 reposts 147 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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The Colbert Blanketfort
0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Maybe I need to be strained through a cheesecloth
6 replies 61 reposts 143 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Mad enough for folding a rock airplane I said and it calmed me down, just like cursing. What if cursing wasn't a curse but words that cannot fly, holy folding rock plane shit.
6 replies 40 reposts 65 likes
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Link is coconut-pilled. 🥥 🌴
@knilirabaj.bsky.social
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The Mister Rogers' Neighborhood theme song goes so fucking hard.
9 replies 12 reposts 61 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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you: please flirt with me me: all my friends die
10 replies 86 reposts 209 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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I will be voting for whichever candidate proves themselves the most generous lover
7 replies 21 reposts 125 likes
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Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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We’re all gradually turning into that guy carrying a bundle of sticks on his back from that Led Zeppelin album cover
8 replies 39 reposts 111 likes
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crimesididntcommit.🏳️⚧️
@crimesididntcommit.bsky.social
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the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world they couldn't experience the kia summer sales event of the year
2 replies 4 reposts 17 likes
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Tyver Foucault
@thedoorthedoor.bsky.social
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The purpose of stickers is to Never Use Them so that when you die your friends can put them on your coffin
7 replies 121 reposts 541 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Happy you’re back, buddy
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Princess of Whales
@princessofwhales2.bsky.social
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Omg I just learned that my young coworkers don’t believe in Helen Keller and I’m gonna do a violence
7 replies 25 reposts 83 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
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Wow what a cool, dry place. I can see why you store stuff here.
2 replies 31 reposts 164 likes
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Scare Quotes
@quote-unquote.bsky.social
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In the Zoom meeting just watching my hairline recede the whole time
1 replies 22 reposts 67 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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The most perfect gif for that
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Who are these alleged Warfighters®️?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Oh man, check him out. Visceral writings for angsty teenagers. Fun reading. Choke is amazing. So is Snuff.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Celebrate the summer solstice by going feral
8 replies 80 reposts 182 likes
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Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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The world’s a shitshow but sometimes my dog forgets and leaves his tongue 1/4-1/2” out like a stuffed animal you just won at the fair so there’s that
3 replies 29 reposts 136 likes
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Dan Cerinthedark
@etbeeegood.bsky.social
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at the water park coated in canola oil so the pee won’t stick
1 replies 15 reposts 32 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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The most exciting part of injury and illness is the mystery in whether it will kill you or not if you do nothing to fix it
9 replies 78 reposts 201 likes
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haus of hawktuah
@hausofholes.bsky.social
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connecting with my inner child on the astral plane and giving her a four loko
3 replies 12 reposts 92 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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You mean DON’T season the immersion wand with beancrud? Weird.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Grounds muddled in the bottom. For dessert, a hand rolled Top cigarette
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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OMG. I have to show her this
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Vending machines dispensing used underwear, tamagotchis, and now hot cans?!? Japan is so lit
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Everything about this sounds terrifying
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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:shudders:
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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This belongs in a Palahniuk
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Do the packs come in bean flavor?!?!
2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Good Lordt you can stick it right into the bean can!
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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That’s it, come over to the house. Matthew just received a new box of snuff, and I’ll use my sugar rations for a raisin bundt!
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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The motel living days are over. My hotplate retired. *sniffs the beans* “You think these are expired?”
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Oh, and I cannot stress this enough, my god.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Reneé Meredith
@wumother.bsky.social
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Beans are for closers and you…you get the beans for this ones.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Jo
@whatsjo.bsky.social
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her: did you know makeup expires? me: *spits mine out* what
4 replies 179 reposts 903 likes
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dk
@portdrift.bsky.social
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the heavens to betsy pipeline
6 replies 50 reposts 238 likes