Ed Zitron

@zitron.bsky.social

God DAMNIT Instagram stop trying to sell me a ceramic chicken dick!

Jul 04, 2024 at 03:38 UTC

74 replies 122 reposts 887 likes

ᴅᴏᴡɴ10⸻ @down10.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 09:09 UTC

As a haiku: Damn it Instagram Stop trying to sell me a Ceramic chicken dick

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Sen. Gogurt taking notes on a criminal conspiracy @ugarles.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 14:32 UTC

the one design innovation that titan didn't try was the one that could have saved them

0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

Et alia @s0m3f00l.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:37 UTC

Toma.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Richard the Sod @dreamcastbarber.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:23 UTC

Chicken & mushroom

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

$¯\_(ツ)_/¯'s avatar$

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @mcmjolnir.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:52 UTC

Gonna chip my goddamn teeth

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

SpottyAltAcc 🍉 @spottygoober.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 10:17 UTC

@joeychu.bsky.social

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Shade @shadane.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:01 UTC

As if chickens didn't have enough problems already, now roosters have to put up with chefs mocking them for not having shlongs.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Lennie Brisco County Jr @mburchett.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 14:42 UTC

Damn Ed. What have you been googling?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Oh god, oh fuck. My skeets are public!? @sekoku.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:40 UTC

FLARED BASE. FLARED BASE!

0 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Kitten motherfukin Britches bitches 🤘😸 @kittenbritches.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 06:51 UTC

@catovitch.bsky.social

That baked chicken needs to settle down.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

🍉 I Love Pets Four Hundred Twenty @ilovepets420.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:04 UTC

chick en pe nis 👏👏 👏👏👏

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Ersatzov @ersatzov.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:09 UTC

That dick is rubbing right up against the Pope’s nose too

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Joel/kingjder02/whatever @joelsftw.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:30 UTC

Okay who designed it? Please raise your hand.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Stringwoman @stringwoman.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 18:13 UTC

Am I the only one who sees that the chicken’s legs are TIED? Just what are they selling here??

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Maia🏳️‍⚧️ @doonethingforme.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:42 UTC

LEARN MORE

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

tradingvices @tradingvices.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:39 UTC

something something yellow submarine

2 replies 1 reposts 46 likes

A Frockwork Orange @hacklock.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:39 UTC

I think you gotta get this one, for the culture

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Grouching Towards Bethlehem @arkansasmichael.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 16:23 UTC

Thats NOT how i pictured the submarine the Beatles sang of…

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Forde @fordesponja.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 13:20 UTC

I'm sure someone purchased this saying it was for cooking but it was because they wanted an aneros in reality

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

andy facemire @statsboyandi.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:35 UTC

yellow submarine and or ocarina of time, but chicken dick

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

James Anthony @jamtone.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 09:49 UTC

Ringo Starr didn't come out from behind the drums for this

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Coyoty @coyoty.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:15 UTC

Spatch-cock.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Self-deprecating ghost @soundwave187.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:51 UTC

You just made some pervert's day.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Eden/Edea (Oracle of Seasons ) @edenadema2.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:43 UTC

A cock is a rooster so this seems like false advertisement

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Angelaina @angelaina.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:54 UTC

That Chicken Dick's Dick Chicken Good. Mmmm-mmm!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

WildGorillaMan @wildgorillaman.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:12 UTC

I don’t know what I expected when I woke up today but it wasn’t this

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Lucien Ey @pollhereford.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:28 UTC

'It's a musical instrument too, if you blow it!!!'

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Ben McLeish @mcleish.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:09 UTC

Never have I wanted to learn less more than now.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Stephen Webb @stephenwebb.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:42 UTC

That is the horniest roast chicken ever

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Spoonbill Reducks @spoonbill.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:59 UTC

Actually a newfangled bong.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Spoonbill Reducks @spoonbill.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:35 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mystery Pop @baseten.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 18:47 UTC

In my day we just shotgunned a bud light and shoved the empty can up the chicken’s hoo-hah. The kitchen gadget industrial complex had gone too far.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bryce @brycebryce.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:40 UTC

Would

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Saga, sighs queen @saga.iam.bi
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:20 UTC

Would

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Haveyouearnedagoldstartoday? @ashishkabob.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:44 UTC

I think I like it

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Silverwynde @silverwynde.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:23 UTC

Just when you think there are no new sentences... 🤣

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dr. Wombat @aspyre.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:10 UTC

On the bone.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

@shywoof.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:08 UTC

They didn't have to shape it like that

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Think. It. Through. 🙅‍♂️ @cfaller96.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:42 UTC

So…what, you put broth & seasoning and etc in there? Oooh, or how about butter & etc? Yeah, I see the value. I think this ceramic chicken dick might be a good little kitchen gadget.

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

J Lew @jl3w.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:58 UTC

We’re all fucked by a giant yellow cock, a giant yellow cock, a giant yellow cock.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:04 UTC

We all live in a poultry assmarine.

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Ni en pedo @300ps.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:44 UTC

They know you're on bluesky

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

@flatline42.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 06:22 UTC

can't unsee it.

1 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Yulikitten @yulikitten.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 08:10 UTC

Ground me all you want, mother! You'll never unfuck the chicken!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

peejaybee @bigscary.com
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:27 UTC

I know, right? Like, who needs to be sold on that?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Quasar Funk @quasarfunk.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:53 UTC

self basting

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

SteveO @otthouse.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:54 UTC

I think I'd call it the yellow dickmarine.

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Jen Gentleman @jenmsft.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 03:56 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Li🦋Zy @lizylove.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:57 UTC

😂😂😂😂😂😂

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Dexter Crisp @dextercrisp.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 06:19 UTC

Coming soon to an A&E department near you... "I was dancing around my kitchen, naked, when I slipped on some chicken fat and landed arse first onto the ceramic roaster which I'd placed on the floor to cool down...*

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes