FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

@armyvet1972.bsky.social

334 followers 229 following 2557 posts


I’m neither politically correct nor incorrect. I’m just plain wrong.

Latest:
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Greatest:
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chris.'s avatar chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Raccoons got in the office last night. They found Cindy's ketchup packets, did a number on Evan's desk, and everywhere there is carnage. Still, there is no doubt now that they can work wonders with a spreadsheet. The company's been threatening a restructure. We can all be replaced.

1 replies 34 reposts 105 likes

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Minister of Loneliness's avatar Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
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Hello, Costco? What is your policy on people paying with obsolete Canadian pennies?

3 replies 20 reposts 39 likes

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺's avatar BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social
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every time you get caught surfing the TL under “popular with friends” rather than “following” a puppy gets hit with a 3 iron

3 replies 15 reposts 26 likes

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Reposted by FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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if you die in the Metaverse, the two wolves inside you die, too, please think of the wolves

6 replies 22 reposts 85 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Just for that I’m gonna post six hundred videos of fireworks

0 replies 3 reposts 3 likes

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Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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I used to sing to my toast like "Hey little toast man," until someone told me it was weird to sing to it if I'm gonna kill it. Kill my toast? So anyway, now I ask, "Well Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?"

17 replies 85 reposts 288 likes

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Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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Slimey the Worm from Sesame Street sings a song in your ear over and over

10 replies 74 reposts 154 likes

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Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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It would be preferable that you didn't take me by the ears and play upon my darkest fears actually

10 replies 78 reposts 150 likes

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chris.'s avatar chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social
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You can have high tea with the princes and queens or you can have low tea with the rats and the gnats, these are your only two choices.

2 replies 22 reposts 44 likes

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Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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today i had a zoom therapy appointment where i cried and ate noodles with my bare hands on camera and she didn’t even blink

26 replies 65 reposts 471 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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*leaving my gun and a glass of raw milk out for Miss America*

8 replies 123 reposts 547 likes

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haus of hawktuah 's avatar haus of hawktuah @hausofholes.bsky.social
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your cancellation is imminent, collect your L at once

3 replies 4 reposts 39 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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*raindrops start falling* Me: glad I brought a bumbrella You: you mean umbrella Me: no *homeless guy covers my head with a dirty blanket*

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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Minister of Loneliness's avatar Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
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Ran out of shampoo so I washed my hair with Ranch dressing and now these seagulls are following me around like I’m the most discount Snow White ever.

9 replies 46 reposts 107 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Hey look at that cloud, it looks like a horse. Oh it is a horse. It’s a horseman. There’s another. And another. And anot…shit it’s the apocalypse

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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I went off-roading once and had about 10 orgasms.

12 replies 27 reposts 66 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Thanks for pointing out how that old movie didn’t age well. We were all waiting with bated breath for you to chime in with your highly valued thoughts.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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if you've eaten someone out under the covers you've pretty much eaten ortolan

7 replies 17 reposts 65 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Hope you named your daughter Off so I can do what you told me to do

0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

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Reposted by FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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my dog shakes his head in the middle of guests on my porch sending giant dog drool flying. They yell "eww!" and he gets so excited they're celebrating him he can't stop wagging his tail

12 replies 54 reposts 347 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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I will watch your fireworks video if you get those big fat titties in the shot

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

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PAM!'s avatar PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social
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You could probably call me Parm for a while before I would say anything. Because I'd be thinking about spaghetti.

0 replies 20 reposts 42 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Hi, I’d like to report a not funny person trying to be funny. It’s cringe.

14 replies 24 reposts 110 likes

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Jason, ex Inferis's avatar Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
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Criss Angel is just David Copperfield for people who never met their father.

2 replies 33 reposts 94 likes

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Reposted by FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

sliceofhell.com's avatar sliceofhell.com @sliceofhell.bsky.social
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*diarrhea funneling out the left leg of my capri pants* Hey, I don’t work here, but can I get you folks anything?

0 replies 18 reposts 43 likes

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Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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hello? i need to report a possible dirty innuendo

23 replies 48 reposts 132 likes

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺's avatar BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social
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no seriously, I’ll believe you if you say it with even more conviction lmao

2 replies 42 reposts 63 likes

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Jake_Vig's avatar Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social
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Trees make blood-curdling screams when they fall in a forest, fyi.

2 replies 11 reposts 31 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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thanks for coming over but yall gotta go home now so i can jerk off

13 replies 42 reposts 168 likes

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Sweetie π's avatar Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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To celebrate the 4th I filled my fanny pack with macaroni salad

7 replies 33 reposts 84 likes

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Jason, ex Inferis's avatar Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
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Convinced that no one will ever love me based on my rudimentary understanding of how a compass works

8 replies 47 reposts 127 likes

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Wolfe Van Mural's avatar Wolfe Van Mural @guytheguy.bsky.social
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Ok that was fun back to dependence

0 replies 22 reposts 78 likes

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chris.'s avatar chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social
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OOH, YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN KNIFE FLAYING YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE OOH, SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT CRIME SCENE DIGGING THE KNIFING QUEEN

3 replies 28 reposts 62 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Bet you didn’t expect to be called out on a joke by someone named bogbo dogdo. Oggdob bobgod. Shit I should have copied the name before I started this reply .

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

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Raquel Squelch's avatar Raquel Squelch @raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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Call a bowl a bowl? Off with their feet I'd say in my queenest of ways and it's fingers for diamonds but as queen of clubs run off with their sandwiches oh for hearts sake I'd just eat them

0 replies 28 reposts 43 likes

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Reposted by FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

debbshock's avatar debbshock @debbshock.bsky.social
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the best emoji i have ever seen

2 replies 4 reposts 20 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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wanna feel old? the woman who threw a banana milkshake at Nigel Farage is now the UK prime minister

1 replies 26 reposts 120 likes

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Frances Meh's avatar Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
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american werewolves are only in london because they were stolen from the isle of manhattan by the british museum

4 replies 40 reposts 133 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Hangover? What kind of bush league bullshit is that

0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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So what exactly do you tell an only fans girl? “nice fuck holes?” “Glad I’m paying a monthly fee for this?” “Y’know that porn hub site doesn’t charge anything. Maybe we can negotiate”

0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw an AI fireworks show and a guy lost all 7 fingers on one hand.

22 replies 426 reposts 1531 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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OK, we get it. We’re independent. been telling us for 248 years now. quit throwing it in our faces

0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes

FRONT TOWARD ENEMY's avatar FRONT TOWARD ENEMY @armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Got banned at the mall for selling TicTacs as stem cells

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Pulls my own hair while eating a hot dog.

12 replies 42 reposts 117 likes