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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Ouch! Apologies!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kip Conlon@kipconlon.bsky.social |
723 followers 819 following 878 posts
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jl254wzevuyus2qdi7awzs5a/feed/aaallxif7tq52
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Ouch! Apologies!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Funnily enough, it was my childhood fascination with the electronic board game, “Operation” that led to my career selling electronic board games.
2 replies 9 reposts 26 likes
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Gwen Pepperoni
@ladyjimrockford.bsky.social
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okay but for real, is 40% too little to tip my landlord? i feel like that's below average. what do you all do
3 replies 7 reposts 41 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Replying with curt, “this you?” then posting screen shot of their header.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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sorry i asked if the photo of your kid was “that fucked up AI stuff”
18 replies 193 reposts 766 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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a book about a rapper from a crumbling city who calls himself Urban DK somebody write that down
0 replies 20 reposts 59 likes
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WobblyCPA
@wobblycpa.bsky.social
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Love it when the bar fakes you out by making the heavy-looking beer mug out of plastic. Sorry, but I’m gonna need another after throwing that beer over my shoulder.
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.
0 replies 3 reposts 15 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Another secret!
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Common mistake!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Meet n F*** Kingdom, Steve
@itsphetz.bsky.social
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fired day 2 at Five Guys for saying “guess we’re Six Guys now” every time a customer came in also I stole
5 replies 58 reposts 372 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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What gives the Big Mac's secret sauce its signature tang? That's a secret! But here's a hint (Propylene glycol alginate)
3 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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Thanks For Sharing, Jerk
@thx4sharingjerk.bsky.social
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Weather Report: If the hotel AC breaks we’ll all die
1 replies 5 reposts 19 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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companies be like hey to celebrate our birthday we’re having a contest to see who can buy our product the most, the winner will receive a sample of our product and the opportunity to do marketing for our product
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons
9 replies 86 reposts 241 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Heckling the flight attendant during the oxygen mask demo
7 replies 47 reposts 127 likes
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connectpoliticditto.
@cpoliticditto.bsky.social
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“I’m exceptional at seeing vanity license plates and immediately decoding what they mean” Interviewer: “I meant do you have any skills that would make you an asset to the company?” “Do you ever need vanity license plates decoded?” Interviewer: “no” “Then no”
3 replies 12 reposts 44 likes
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Crockett Houghton
@crockettforreal.bsky.social
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If you’re ever having a bad day just remember, there once was a lady who lived in a shoe.
7 replies 10 reposts 64 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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The rich are much different from you and me. Well, you anyway.
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Jamestopher
@tarnation.bsky.social
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Moth balls are way bigger than I expected
6 replies 27 reposts 71 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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“Don’t worry, man, you got this,” my friend lied.
0 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Thank you!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Yo Ho Ho and a box of whatever, it’s a porch pirate’s life for me.
2 replies 8 reposts 24 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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If you think your life is complicated, I have to find the perfect gift for my monkey butler that will also not make my monkey bartender jealous.
2 replies 7 reposts 30 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Hey whatever happened to so and so are you a troll pencil because I keep rubbing you between my hands like I'm trying to start a Yahoo Serious fire
2 replies 28 reposts 41 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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oh mute button how i love you so
8 replies 60 reposts 215 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Today is the fourth day of the rest of your life. You need to get moving.
2 replies 5 reposts 22 likes
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alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
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sisyphus eagerly watching how it’s made: pulleys
1 replies 22 reposts 105 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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I don't know what I'd do without Caitlin and the kids. Maybe work in sales.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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It's the extra vinegar in my barbecue sauce that makes it all but inedible.
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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if my fridge had a see through door I’d still have to open it to look I trust nothing
2 replies 42 reposts 152 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Spaghetti with "red sauce" will never not sound to me like the chef is in pre-school.
2 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Former friends contend my practical jokes go too far.
0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Hey Einstein, did it ever occur to you my sarcasm might be a defense mechanism?
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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“Gots?”
1 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Good question! Clearly the answer is………..
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Bitten by a copperhead! Ask me anything (quickly)!
2 replies 5 reposts 14 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Where are all these ‘I can fix him’ women one hears so much about?
1 replies 10 reposts 28 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Check it, not only is Don Corleone doing me a massive solid, he says I may never have to pay it back!
1 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Figured out why street our summer rental is on is called Horsefly Lane.
1 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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I won’t kill you with kindness, but make no mistake: my kindness will make you wish you had never been born.
0 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Being born on the Fourth of July doesn’t make you a Yankee Doodle Dandy. You gotta earn that shit.
3 replies 19 reposts 43 likes
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gas statіon dream gіrl
@cheygoulet.bsky.social
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Should I eat two cheeseburgers? I think America would want me to.
32 replies 45 reposts 398 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Clapping my hands in awe.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Just listened to Elmo’s isolated vocals on “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” Goosebumps.
1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Cullen
@hellocullen.bsky.social
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Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news
5 replies 171 reposts 850 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Sensei says I need to focus more on washing his car.
0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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To everyone who said my music “hobby” was a waste of time and would never lead to a career: I need to borrow some money.
0 replies 5 reposts 20 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Lifeguard was so busy giggling with his girlfriend he missed my kickass cannonball.
0 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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Should have googled “open relationship” before agreeing.
0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes