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Pretty Good Mike

@prettygoodmike.bsky.social

404 followers 314 following 679 posts

Yeti | Tortured Genius

ko-fi.com/thehdrk

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andy van slyke's avatar andy van slyke @im-all-id.bsky.social
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It'd be nice to have the opposite of an intrusive thought once in a while. Just a really sudden calming thought

10 replies 44 reposts 155 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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[patting the bed seductively] come to Butt-Head

8 replies 29 reposts 75 likes

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Elissa's avatar Elissa @tomorrowx3.bsky.social
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A children’s book about a task rabbit. Beatrix Potter-style soft illustrations depicting a 20-something guy coming to my apartment to build a bathroom cabinet and vaping in his car afterwards.

0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes

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SpatialKimtamine's avatar SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
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Can someone explain to me what I’m talking about?

10 replies 36 reposts 90 likes

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Sweetie π's avatar Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Isn’t it fun how we can come on here and say things and none of it matters and we can all act normal and not psycho

12 replies 31 reposts 80 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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girls only want one thing and it's to murder

11 replies 42 reposts 109 likes

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Sweetie π's avatar Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Him: what’re your plans for the rest of the week? Me:

2 replies 22 reposts 109 likes

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keb mode: oppidan mode's avatar keb mode: oppidan mode @kebbyruxpin.bsky.social
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we should be spending our summers in caves

4 replies 10 reposts 75 likes

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DougExeter's avatar DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social
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more like fartificial insmelligence

1 replies 29 reposts 115 likes

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tara 's avatar tara @weedlejuice.bsky.social
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Rolling my apple down the bus aisle to delight and entertain the other passengers

2 replies 5 reposts 30 likes

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Jerry's avatar Jerry @allhailjerry.bsky.social
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Hey, I just found a great source of unconditional love: The Internet.

2 replies 9 reposts 30 likes

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KAFUI. 🇬🇭 's avatar KAFUI. 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
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me, busty and thick, enthralled by the candle on the dinner table but becoming enraged again and again upon touching the flame: it's sooo cool that you're sapiosexual. hey, do you mind reading the menu for me and letting me know what looks good?? i'm vegan but i eat pork.

1 replies 7 reposts 89 likes

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KAFUI. 🇬🇭 's avatar KAFUI. 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
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We do things not because they’re easy but because we’re irrationally afraid someone will yell at us if we don’t.

8 replies 153 reposts 526 likes

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Travis, bluesky elder 's avatar Travis, bluesky elder @prof-hinkley.bsky.social
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Canceling my therapy appointment with the note "I'm fine after all"

0 replies 18 reposts 48 likes

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donni saphire 's avatar donni saphire @donni.bsky.social
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We lie quietly in the dark, glowing boxes in hand, scared and lonely yet entertained

0 replies 12 reposts 55 likes

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little lamb 's avatar little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social
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The first piece of toilet paper should have a joke printed on it and then the cardboard tube should have the punchline

4 replies 13 reposts 86 likes

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𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 's avatar 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 @carl.bsky.social
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Showing a scientist all the little microscopic origami cranes I made prions fold into and getting a visit from the biosafety and security guys.

4 replies 21 reposts 103 likes

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𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 's avatar 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 @carl.bsky.social
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Eating pieces of a dead deer I found by the graveyard and feeling like I can achieve anything! Even unfolding all these new misshapen proteins headed for my brain tissue!

3 replies 3 reposts 48 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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If I had a dragon I would be hollering dracarys daily.

5 replies 22 reposts 43 likes

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𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 's avatar 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟 @carl.bsky.social
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I'm making a TikTok platform but ONLY for videos of UFOs. China has already given me a sizeable grant and a very quiet military official named "Daniel" who oversees my work. Like literally. He's behind me right now. Everyone say hi to "Daniel"!

4 replies 2 reposts 35 likes

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SpatialKimtamine's avatar SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
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My therapist says I can’t duel anymore. She thinks Mr Cannoli is one of my alter egos and I’m starting to believe it too

3 replies 21 reposts 63 likes

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Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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it’s okay sweetheart drink your milk and take your muscle relaxers you can write your long winded reply later

8 replies 43 reposts 106 likes

Pretty Good Mike's avatar Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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therapists should only be fully ascended beings of pure light, not other humans

2 replies 8 reposts 22 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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With great tits, comes great back pain.

14 replies 38 reposts 107 likes

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Sadie's avatar Sadie @sadieisupset.bsky.social
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Calculating the cost effectiveness of attempting to help grandpa fix his iPad over the phone or driving over to do it myself, but either way the overhead labor is killing me

3 replies 11 reposts 39 likes

Pretty Good Mike's avatar Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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this is actually one of the lines from the song that they had to cut because the producer thought they were dumb

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Pretty Good Mike's avatar Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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sometimes i’m a dumbass, sometimes i’m a smartass, sometimes i’m a mediumass

2 replies 4 reposts 10 likes

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Reposted by Pretty Good Mike

d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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my recipe for success is finishing 0.05% of a task and then moving on to do the same for another task, all day, until it takes 2 months to complete any questions?

10 replies 27 reposts 104 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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[Eminem's rap battle opponent] nice vomit on your sweater, did your mom make it for you?

5 replies 37 reposts 148 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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babe, i'm not coming to your meeting, i have a life

6 replies 28 reposts 110 likes

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Reposted by Pretty Good Mike

Hemlock's avatar Hemlock @hemlockmimosa.bsky.social
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the cats have informed me that i am an inadequate god, a false prophet, an unreliable seer, and a bitch

0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes

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hello kelsey's avatar hello kelsey @oldkels.bsky.social
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i am an apex predator that’s why men don’t let me hold the door open for them, they’re afraid to let me get a 360 view

4 replies 2 reposts 33 likes

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La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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My 9: Mom why do we honk at cows when we drive by? So we can let them know we love them.

5 replies 26 reposts 65 likes

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SpatialKimtamine's avatar SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
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The bigger the bird, the bigger the poop on your windshield

4 replies 16 reposts 49 likes