alber 's avatar

alber

@captainacab.airbud.website

2039 followers 755 following 4175 posts

i got called tyler once. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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lol i convinced the hat man to get a bowl cut so whoever sees him tonight ur welcome

2 replies 3 reposts 15 likes

Reposted by alber

Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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a daycare for adults where instead of cookies and juice you get Xanax and vodka

13 replies 55 reposts 161 likes

Reposted by alber

James's avatar James @tarnation.bsky.social
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One way to tell if someone is done speaking and wants you to respond is when they wave their hand in front of your face.

2 replies 10 reposts 22 likes

Reposted by alber

Reposted by alber

MyNameIsJeff🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar MyNameIsJeff🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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I showed you my stats, please respond

16 replies 27 reposts 77 likes

Reposted by alber

FK's avatar FK @funkelly.bsky.social
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can we have a cat president? If we can have dog mayors surely we can have a cat president

15 replies 59 reposts 442 likes

Reposted by alber

saja's avatar saja @saja.bsky.social
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you had me at finger pistols

1 replies 11 reposts 26 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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for me the vibes were always off about neil gaiman because he didn’t follow me

1 replies 3 reposts 26 likes

Reposted by alber

grg's avatar grg @grgd.bsky.social
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Extending an olive branch, rapidly, towards a hornet's nest

2 replies 4 reposts 19 likes

Reposted by alber

demon core vidal's avatar demon core vidal @regretagarbo.rip
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you are friends with WAY MORE sexual assault victims than you are authors

2 replies 51 reposts 235 likes

Reposted by alber

Reposted by alber

skippy's avatar skippy @skippy.net
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Particle physics gives me a large hadron.

0 replies 2 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by alber

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺's avatar BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social
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how much for that doggy style in the window?

5 replies 29 reposts 60 likes

Reposted by alber

Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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I must admit I chose not to learn how to do a lot of things I thought a robot would be doing for me by this time so thank you for the life lesson, Jetsons

4 replies 49 reposts 123 likes

Reposted by alber

Reposted by alber

Bubbles's avatar Bubbles @phonon.bsky.social
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To this day, ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by alber

MyNameIsJeff🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar MyNameIsJeff🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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Feeding my bunny lettuce like he’s the ticket counter at Chuck E. Cheese’s 🐰🖤

2 replies 30 reposts 96 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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i contracted pneumonia and died before you could respond…please respond

1 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Reposted by alber

La Captain Oblivious's avatar La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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I went off-roading once and had about 10 orgasms.

12 replies 27 reposts 66 likes

Reposted by alber

kir's avatar kir @kirlax.bsky.social
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We are the granddaughters of the Baja you could not Blast

0 replies 21 reposts 66 likes

Reposted by alber

mizer's avatar mizer @mizer.bsky.social
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What if Joe Biden is in a Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me-esque scenario where someone stole his mojo and he just needs to get it back? Something to mull over

0 replies 2 reposts 15 likes

Reposted by alber

Granddad [Yoshimitsu Main™️]'s avatar Granddad [Yoshimitsu Main™️] @granddad.bsky.social
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neil gaiman did that shit

5 replies 8 reposts 57 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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ur not gonna “get my goad” dude i don’t even know what that is

1 replies 6 reposts 22 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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that’s what they said before i challenged the hardon collider and won easily

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by alber

Jason, ex Inferis's avatar Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social
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The way I act when I have a crush is very not on brand

1 replies 23 reposts 55 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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there’s still a chance for biden if mike pence has the courage

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Reposted by alber

d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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[me, tryna fit in on bsky] these nuts!

12 replies 51 reposts 155 likes

Reposted by alber

Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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We used to spend hours burping Tupperware containers. You kids should have never let us olds take the wheel

1 replies 14 reposts 41 likes

Reposted by alber

Sweetie π's avatar Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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What do you want me to do actually achieve my goals like some kind of freak?

3 replies 25 reposts 47 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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why would i be into an author who literally ripped off metallica? i prefer original stuff tbh

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

alber 's avatar alber @captainacab.airbud.website
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getting a second asshole so i can tell everyone i have two opinions

2 replies 17 reposts 67 likes

Reposted by alber

the corgi from cowboy bebop's avatar the corgi from cowboy bebop @realqrampage.bsky.social
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I don’t really care if you “knew” ahead of time that a predator was a bad person (because you didn’t, you just didn’t get along with them or thought they were annoying), and I reserve the right to still think you’re a piece of shit

3 replies 10 reposts 112 likes

Reposted by alber