We can’t succeed in a world where buying a tee-shirt is an ethical decision involving child labour from across the globe. “Failing” and enjoying what we do while it last is good actually™️. I’d even go so far as to say that enjoying your life is a small revolution in itself, no matter the ups & downs
This is also why capitalism is so closely linked to denial of death (both billionaires freezing their heads and injecting themselves with teenage blood and, more broadly, our culture's lack of a way to face and/or discuss death other than by pretending it isn't happening).
Went to art school in the 90s. Spent over a decade as a graphic designer. Then, I fell out of love with it and am now part of the bicycle industry.
I don't regret anything.
Well, except that stint as an intern at a wedding magazine. The wedding industry is effing insane)
@kyleshevlin.com w/r/t what we were talking about yesterday, see above. Re-contextualizing “going through a phase” might could be useful in a wide range of circumstances.
None of those except one are a promise of "until death do you part". Failed marriages are a real thing. Moving on from a business or hobby is not the same. Not even ending friendships are the same.
I heard somewhere, 'Marriage is a race between death and divorce, and if death comes first, the marriage was a success.'
It's really OK to have things end. Sometimes it means other things (sometimes better things) begin.
"Ran its course" is a legitimate way for any number of things to conclude, be it a business, television show, series of books, or relationship. People change and/or outgrow aspects of their lives, stories have conclusions. The best success is being able to recognize the right time.
I mean, I agree in theory. But in practice, all this stuff means assuming debt.
* Start a coffee shop
* Pursue a career in a profession
* Buy into a neighborhood
It all just feels so expensive to flit from thing to thing. And every day closer to old age, when things get even more expensive.
I stopped to read this and got so sidetracked looking for info on the author and reposting on other social media platforms! Thanks for sharing it. It was an adventure.
Absolutely! I've said some of those very words myself, then began to doubt that I even knew what I was talking about – because "society" kept telling me I was a failure for letting it go. Everything in its own time...
My friend has a fun saying: "All good things must come to an end. If it doesn't end, then it was never good."
We usually use it in the context of never-ending film and videogame IP. We often wish things like star wars and marvel would just go away so that new ideas can rise and take their place.
Thank you - that’s a very gentle and good insight. Knowing when to close a door and move on is a great life skill - and shouldn’t change the value of what went before.
we could use "retired" more often - like I sometimes say I'm a retired yoga teacher and I know a retired jewelry maker, folks could retire from married life - that validates the lived experience
If anything this should take some pressure off teens about to enter college who think they *need* to find their "true" calling at 17-18. When chances are you'll have several callings and interests through stages of life, not just the one they think.
Author John Scalzi has written about how - paraphrasing - aspiring writers should just *write* and not bother trying to write Best-Selling Works of Genius That Become Classics.
He fully expects his work to become obscure or entirely unknown well before the century is over. And he's fine with that.
I think this correlates with the American mythos of perpetual expansion. The expectation that everything will get bigger, better, more valuable, additional features, newer colors, higher salary, bigger office, etc
Moving on from a coffee shop to another business
Moving on from writing books to another profession
Getting divorced
One of the three is not like the other 😅
I feel the same way about musical one-hit wonders. How many of us will ever get to write and/or perform even just one great song that is a hit. It's so strange that we degrade acts that "only" do that.
You know what, this has another consequence. Whenever we do something we feel that it has to turn into a routine or a project instead of just doing the thing as and when it makes us happy and inspired. If I could tell my younger self anything it would be: don’t assign yourself PROJECTS. Just act.
Given that the potential end conditions for everything are either "stop" or "death"...we really do need to get more comfortable with the transience of nice things.
LOL everyone's like "marriage is different" it's not though
don't come at me I really don't care to argue this point you're just missing the whole point of the story
I am currently in my 3rd major near decadal career as an adult. Military, cable repair, then construction in my mid-30's.
Even now, I just made a major change a few weeks ago by quitting my job for a sizable raise at a different shop.
business world seems like this
it started at
“stopping = failure”
it went past
“Having a year that isn’t your best year yet = failure”
it got worse
“always be zooming, don’t worry about the year you crash, sucks to be a sucker haha”
and so … <gestures around>
I found it on my discover feed, if you want to know why I'm here.
And I don't think this is new, it's just that we remember the people who dabbled or were even successful in multiple things in the past with a full view of who they were after the fact. As they were alive, they surely dealt with it
When my ex husband and I were in couples therapy, one of the things that they told us changed everything for us both. He asked if we regretted marrying each other and when we both said no because we wouldn't have our kids he said "well maybe the marriage has fulfilled it's purpose".
A feel tangentially related is the belief that steadiness and stability is also frowned upon. A business that pulls a steady profit for years needs to expand and grow beyond its means to be successful. Staying in a job you enjoy and love is sacrificing a career and you should advance until burnout.
There was an arcade I went to in high school with my friends that is no longer there but I made some of the best memories I have as a teenager there, to me that place was successful
There are people out there who think I'm not a successful artist because I haven't sold all my artworks and don't have a lot of money.
They're wrong. I'm very successful because I've made a lot of great artworks. I just have to learn the selling skills to make money off them. #art#artbusiness
OH YES. We're so bad at this, as a culture, but there is real power in being able to end a good thing when it's over. I have worked on building the skill of recognizing when a thing is done, and then saying thank you & letting go. It's wonderful!
Interesting bit of neuroscience is we seem to have two selves, the experiencing self and the remembering self, with the latter being to blame here because the remembering self places emphasis on the highlights and lowlights of an experience, plus how it ended.
shortly after my last relationship ended i saw a comment someone made where they were discussing this sort of thing to their therapist, and their therapist said "Don't think of your relationship as failed. Think of it as complete."
