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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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I’m glad your day was good. You deserve good ❤️
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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La Captain Oblivious@whatthefoxy.bsky.social |
2072 followers 1067 following 6081 posts
Part-time reply gal. Silly goose activated. I tell dad jokes, so that automatically makes me your daddy.
Follow me, I can fix you.
I say things ⬇️
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaanezoghr4iq
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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I’m glad your day was good. You deserve good ❤️
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Oh jeez 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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😂
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Yes 😂
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Thank you so much 💕
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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Conserve water. Make a friend. Share a urinal.
2 replies 21 reposts 40 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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You get older and hair starts growing in the weirdest places, like on the dead hooker in the basement
0 replies 17 reposts 30 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Going through my checklist before leaving for work: Keys: ✅ Wallet: ✅ Phone: ✅ Psychosis: ✅✅✅
2 replies 24 reposts 51 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Gary Busey just called and asked if I’m doing okay, y’know, like, mental health wise.
3 replies 42 reposts 82 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Boss: You’re in big trouble this time, pal. Me: Raw dog me, daddy.
0 replies 21 reposts 33 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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*sext Honestly, I’m not even a little bit horny, babe.
2 replies 26 reposts 44 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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*pulls your jorts to the side
4 replies 30 reposts 60 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Settle down, lady, I was checking out your dog, not you.
0 replies 36 reposts 77 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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I’m sorry driving a Jeep™️ is 97% of your personality.
4 replies 33 reposts 72 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I base their tip on how gently the waitstaff wakes me when the food arrives
3 replies 39 reposts 82 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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remaking Peanuts but instead of those weird little kids i’m using snails
11 replies 39 reposts 109 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Mike’s hard Diophantine equation
2 replies 18 reposts 37 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Don’t make me unleash my brain on you
6 replies 39 reposts 85 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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A lightbulb went off in my head. It didn't illuminate anything. How do you think I got room up there for the lightbulb?
0 replies 10 reposts 26 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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a porn streaming site called Nutflix is this a thing
9 replies 38 reposts 92 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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I don't think I took my pills today. Probs gonna die now.
4 replies 10 reposts 29 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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“Bear with me.” Just kidding, I don’t have a bear.
14 replies 55 reposts 149 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Apparently having your mom calling you in sick from work doesn’t count.
7 replies 40 reposts 112 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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What has 75 balls and gets old women excited? A Bingo machine
3 replies 19 reposts 30 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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*Gain Flings voice* Wanna see my basement?
0 replies 10 reposts 14 likes
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Jennifer Schaffroth
@jenniferschaffroth.bsky.social
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Talking buttholes with my bestie...I think I'm blueskying irl
1 replies 6 reposts 10 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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Apparently women on the subway don’t like to be complimented on their sideburns.
2 replies 9 reposts 19 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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Relationship status: I passed one of those For Sale signs with the picture of the Realtor and stopped to swipe right on it.
0 replies 5 reposts 14 likes
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Rufus
@te-kanawa.bsky.social
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I put my shorts on like everyone else: With a marching band and cheerleaders encouragement
1 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Hello. I’m heading over to be weird with you.
16 replies 41 reposts 111 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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With great tits, comes great back pain.
15 replies 41 reposts 115 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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If I had a dragon I would be hollering dracarys daily.
6 replies 23 reposts 45 likes
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Bliss
@blisskissed.bsky.social
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I believe in the power of a chicken taco.
2 replies 11 reposts 47 likes
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Jay
@jaycubed2k.bsky.social
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My 80 y/o dad is mad at the heart-shaped cheerios for having an agenda
2 replies 8 reposts 37 likes
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Charlie Bukowski
@lepetitoiseau.bsky.social
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Being hung up on is such a garbage feeling. Even when it’s from a crummy signal. Ugh.
3 replies 7 reposts 37 likes
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Jay
@jaycubed2k.bsky.social
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My 80 y/o dad read some of my skeets and called the police
0 replies 12 reposts 29 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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it’s okay sweetheart drink your milk and take your muscle relaxers you can write your long winded reply later
8 replies 45 reposts 111 likes
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Rachel
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross wrote old town road. I’m shook.
0 replies 4 reposts 21 likes
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Mir
@miriam.lol
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Depression cure :
11 replies 55 reposts 261 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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eating cheese over the sink hbu
17 replies 15 reposts 67 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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Thank you for calling me a valuable resource boss I was afraid you’d started seeing me as a person
1 replies 50 reposts 200 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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How did you know? 🤨
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Drummy™
@crashtestdrummy.bsky.social
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Okay ok OK You read these in different tones.
2 replies 8 reposts 15 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.
3 replies 56 reposts 100 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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My 9: Mom why do we honk at cows when we drive by? So we can let them know we love them.
5 replies 26 reposts 67 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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If I had a dragon I would be hollering dracarys daily.
6 replies 23 reposts 45 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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go away. why are you like this.
6 replies 12 reposts 38 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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Why blame me when the whole world is a travesty?
0 replies 39 reposts 63 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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Nothing more sus than an "attractive" "young" "female" sliding into your dm's with "hi"
6 replies 14 reposts 40 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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Did somebody already do the Hawk Tuah knuckle tats? I feel like I should have seen it by now.
1 replies 11 reposts 34 likes