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Lorena Bobbitt, Jr.
@lorenabobbittjr.bsky.social
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I’m very fond of grown men saying words like crunk. In 2024.
1 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Shade 5@shade5.bsky.social |
1110 followers 985 following 1104 posts
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pe5k4d63mfrmqkc5xxfoolkt/feed/aaalzjcmwys7u
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Lorena Bobbitt, Jr.
@lorenabobbittjr.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m very fond of grown men saying words like crunk. In 2024.
1 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m sorry driving a Jeep™️ is 97% of your personality.
4 replies 31 reposts 66 likes
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Twin Dad
@twinsurvivalist.bsky.social
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Her labia tattoo didn't make sense until I folded it like those Mad Magazine pictures.
3 replies 20 reposts 53 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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Disappointed in the lack of Kate & Allie gifs
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
😂😂😂
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
😂😂😂
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
But when I hit play and there was no Tony Danza or Judith Light…it was Tearin’ Up My Heart
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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The most supremacist species in the animal kingdom is the Great White Shark.
1 replies 9 reposts 16 likes
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PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
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No I can’t give you a ride home from work. That’s my 15 minutes to cry
2 replies 13 reposts 36 likes
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Phil
@geowizzacist.bsky.social
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I accidentally deleted a carefully worded paragraph proving the existence of something but I can’t for the life of me remember what that something was. Is.
1 replies 2 reposts 1 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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Ahhh….I’d like to solve this puzzle, Pat.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
How long until my eyes stop burning from the pepper spray?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Princess of Whales
@princessofwhales2.bsky.social
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Them: know thyself Me googling: how can I un-know myself
2 replies 40 reposts 88 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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I need to log off and start a family
18 replies 46 reposts 125 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Planning a ladies trip to Vegas so I better practice staying up past 8:00pm otherwise Vegas will never allow me back in.
3 replies 31 reposts 80 likes
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Rachel
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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This is just a misunderstanding officer. I’m not a serial killer and this isn’t a killing field, I just started my own body farm.
4 replies 14 reposts 31 likes
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Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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Nearing the peak of my chicken pot pie era
3 replies 26 reposts 55 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
[ View ] |
We don’t use the word bombastic enough.
8 replies 18 reposts 39 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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I had a dream I made out with my best friend and now I wanna make out with my best friend…
4 replies 10 reposts 26 likes
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Destry Broderick
@destry.bsky.social
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Them: smile, it's free. Me: so is not smiling.
0 replies 13 reposts 22 likes
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Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
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There may be some confusion at the mobile phone power supply store if you ask "Who is in charge here?"
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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Hi, it’s Abby. Yep.
@abbycohenwl.bsky.social
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Car horns should sound like the theme from “Jaws”
6 replies 21 reposts 48 likes
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Hyde
@hyde85.bsky.social
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But you said there would be ass here, and as you can see...there is no ass.
2 replies 9 reposts 15 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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What has 75 balls and gets old women excited? A Bingo machine
3 replies 15 reposts 26 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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I mean it all depends…if they’re low calorie dicks, you’re good
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
on the next episode of copse
10 replies 38 reposts 148 likes
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Hush Jared
@hushjared.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Aging is the process of pain becoming less and less surprising
1 replies 26 reposts 82 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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hello? i need someone to fact check a joke?
20 replies 73 reposts 180 likes
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Whim | Sweet but a lil Scary |
@whimpersnwhispers.bsky.social
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Don't tell me what to do! *gobbles all the cock*
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Corduroy Cheddar
@corduroycheddar.bsky.social
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First I objectified you, but then I anthropomorphized you, so basically nothing happened
3 replies 7 reposts 16 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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Going to start signing emails with “absolutely zero regards” until someone notices.
13 replies 58 reposts 179 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Which one of you fuckers taped over my vhs copy of the “Who’s the Boss?” series finale?
2 replies 12 reposts 25 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Apparently women on the subway don’t like to be complimented on their sideburns.
2 replies 9 reposts 19 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] |
hello? where do we file our weather grievances?
14 replies 68 reposts 190 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Touch grass? Nah. Pet dog.
5 replies 39 reposts 91 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*sext Honestly, I’m not even a little bit horny, babe.
2 replies 26 reposts 44 likes
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PAM!
@pamtoo.bsky.social
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Sometimes, if only two people like or repost, I will look at them in my notifications alone together and think they're a cute couple.
3 replies 23 reposts 60 likes
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SaltyGirl
@saltssaltgirl.bsky.social
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What if the hills really were alive with the sound of music?!?!
4 replies 12 reposts 33 likes
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Astr0z0mbreez
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social
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What if I told you the dinosaurs faked their own deaths & are out *there* with Tupac & Elvis? Would you blame them? No. No you wouldn’t.
0 replies 17 reposts 35 likes
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RainDro
@raindro369.bsky.social
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I’m up and asking for any more than that will cost you.
0 replies 3 reposts 3 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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My heart beats for you. Like, maybe twice. The rest is for me because sort of essential to life, duh.
0 replies 10 reposts 20 likes
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The Real Kim Shady
@kimmysunshine.bsky.social
[ View ] |
can’t im making my escape plan
1 replies 20 reposts 46 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] |
oh bitch I’d cook for you
4 replies 37 reposts 78 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*dropping through your ceiling and crashing through your desk* are you mad at me?
1 replies 31 reposts 74 likes
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Molly
@bettyriot.bsky.social
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I can still drop it like it’s hot but I’m going to need a second to get back up
4 replies 34 reposts 117 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry for the things I said when my crotch was sweaty
2 replies 38 reposts 80 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hello. I’m heading over to be weird with you.
15 replies 39 reposts 108 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 72 reposts 205 likes