Some people have physical limitations or disabilities that impact their feet. It isn't rude to ask them not to wear street shoes in your house, but it *is* rude & ableist not to tell them in advance so they can bring their own indoor footwear to change into.
Is this article NYT's attempt at competing with The Onion? I really can't tell if this is serious, I don't go to parties and I never will if this is what makes them good
Wow, I'm white and I was not raised to think this way. Is it just a white US thing? I mean, a lot of people tell me to leave my shoes on, but I would never _assume_ to or argue to be allowed to.
In the UK (in my lifelong experience) you take them off by default when you come in, or at the very least you ask.
Because, for starters, there's all sorts of shit on the ground outside.
I've always found the idea of wearing shows at home super weird. Not only is walking around in dirty shoes odd to me, I really don't find the prospect of stewing my feet in shoes all day very appealing. Hell, I don't even wear socks at home, unless it's super cold.
Me, putting my mud-caked engineer boots up on the glass coffee table and letting the chipotle mayo from my canapé drip on the sofa: “HOSTING IS LETTING YOUR GUESTS ENJOY THEMSELVES, LINDA”
I have slippers that I bring and wear at friends' houses. Because polite. Also because if I, or THEY, have/had foot funk, you don't wanna spread that!
Also also cos I like warm feet. Mostly this last. :)
There is a particular strain of white entitlement that believes that respect is a thing that is only given do them, never a thing that they have to demonstrate.
Being a good guest is about respecting the space you’ve been invited into; you walk around in your outside shoes in my house, you are never coming back.
I find forced-shoelessness to be the same kind of "oh, you're broken" as people who don't let dogs on the bed; it's your right to be sad and broken and allow the grace of your guests to pity & forgive your issues, but I will always be fundamentally distant from such a person.
This has shown up in my feed in so many ways that I finally had to goggle her. I wasn’t surprised to see she hawks whimsy to the whimsiless, (a huge overlapping venn diagram with “more money than taste”, or “time”).
Just what we need, another culture war against courtesy.
As a community mental health worker, it’s the first question I ask when I’m greeted at the door “shoes on or off” as I look around and see if shoes are lined up outside or inside. I always make sure I wear funny socks cuz it lightens the mood
How anyone lives in NYC, walks outside & wants that INSIDE THEIR HOUSE WITH THEM is beyond me. Otoh my ex probably started wearing street shoes inside the minute he moved out. But I wouldn’t touch the cat before washing my hands when I got home!
It's such a logical thing to do, I don't get people's issues with it. Like, I don't want dirty shoes trampling across my floors. I mean, I'm not going to make my maintenance guy take off his shoes for the yearly inspection, but my guests can be gracious guests, they don't need to be entitled.
I don't know what kind of people these animals know but everyone I encounter asks if they should take their shoes off or does so without being asked. This very much includes pest control, plumbers, handymen, etc., many of which bring slip-on hospital booties for convenience.
"If you spill something, you are in trouble."
Never heard this in my life! This is made up to make the shoes on scenario seem more reasonable by contrast
Here's MY bottom line, "Miss Manners:" if I invite you into my home and ask you to remove your shoes, and YOU don't like it, you are perfectly free to turn the fuck around and go right the hell back where you came from. See ya. Don't come back.
Let your guests enjoy themselves...by keeping shoes ON?
Who's out there like "oh boy I sure do hate kicking off my shoes and sitting down indoors, just can't have a nice relaxing time with my shoes off"?
Or just "I have no real friends."
Like, if you care enough about someone to consider them a friend, you can respect their house rules. While commonly understood as an "Asian" thing, my very white household had the same rule when I was growing up in the 80s/90s, and my friends never complained.
Middle-aged white woman here, and everyone I know takes off their shoes when they enter a house. Anyone's house. Do not tromp around your interior space in outside shoes.
I understand the cultural thing. I also understand that I have an ankle that didn't grow right and I cannot walk or stand without foot and ankle support. I even wear a shower shoe in the shower. I am very leery of visiting anyone whose house rules effectively cripple me.
I grew up in a house where you were asked to take your shoes off. I grew up in an era were the only people who had wall-to-wall carpeting, were people who were investing in a luxury. A luxury you wanted to take care of. Take the damn shoes off.
It’s not just an Asian thing - just about every country I’ve visited people’s houses - Canada, Germany, Russia, Hungary, maybe a couple others - take off their shoes when they go inside. It’s just about entirely an American problem, not a caucasian one
I live in an apartment that came with carpet. Absolutely not, take your nasty shoes off before you walk around. If you must wear shoes, bring your own house shoes or slippers. Socks. Whatever. Idc, just no outside shoes.
Your friends will respect your home no matter your rules. It’s rude not to follow a persons wishes in their personal space. Get over yourself with it being rude. You can follow your wishes at your own house. This article is reeks of entitlement and the author —- the guest from hell.
