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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My legal advice is to go to prison
6 replies 25 reposts 80 likes
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saja@saja.bsky.social |
968 followers 370 following 917 posts
an attic full of broken toys
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My legal advice is to go to prison
6 replies 25 reposts 80 likes
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Ashley, 69th of Her Name
@ashleysays.bsky.social
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Me, a 37 year old: I wonder what’s new in candy
11 replies 21 reposts 103 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I never feed my ego after midnight.
0 replies 26 reposts 61 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Mike’s hard Diophantine equation
2 replies 18 reposts 37 likes
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Boy Shop Pot
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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a porn streaming site called Nutflix is this a thing
8 replies 35 reposts 88 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry your boyfriend thinks the clitoris is the chamber in which a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.
12 replies 54 reposts 155 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
i wonder how the guy who had diarrhea so heinous they had to land the plane he was on is doing
1 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
yeah yeah micro-plastics are bad but have you ever tasted delicious micro-plastics?
1 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
where tf is that asteroid?
0 replies 4 reposts 9 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
i see walmart was the best place to ask about getting blood out of a wig
1 replies 16 reposts 38 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Going through my checklist before leaving for work: Keys: ✅ Wallet: ✅ Phone: ✅ Psychosis: ✅✅✅
2 replies 24 reposts 51 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] |
raccoons will get in your trash when you leave it out for pickup and display all your dirty secrets to the neighborhood
10 replies 52 reposts 144 likes
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more mr. nice guy
@juniorhoncho.bsky.social
[ View ] |
fumbling your phone and dropping it in the lake and just as it sinks out of sight you see you've accidentally faved your own post
6 replies 62 reposts 527 likes
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Sasshole
@ridiculoussheri.bsky.social
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My life is like a rom com where two soulmates meet in line at the grocery store but I’m the woman standing behind them buying cat food and tampons.
0 replies 8 reposts 11 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
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this is all so silly
2 replies 12 reposts 28 likes
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Nappy Dolemite
@nappydolemite.bsky.social
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Don't make me flirt with you. I'm terrible at it. Maybe just fall in love with me and I'll do what I can from there.
0 replies 32 reposts 64 likes
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gooberella
@gooberella.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A Monday so long it's directed by Peter Jackson
2 replies 16 reposts 88 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
dog ventriloquism is a harsh taskmaster
0 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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futurejeffrey🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
[ View ] |
my love language is doing that thing with my hand to make sure the AC is hitting you in the car
8 replies 43 reposts 109 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
yass!! thank you!
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Live, laugh, level up
1 replies 25 reposts 62 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Live, laugh, launch me into the sun.
3 replies 52 reposts 131 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
if they ask you to follow them back they're a cop
1 replies 12 reposts 43 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
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i should have been elected girl most likely to be highly prepared for a zombie apocalypse
2 replies 7 reposts 32 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
zip ties, duct tape, rubber gloves--let's get this date started
0 replies 6 reposts 11 likes
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The B.
@anerdonfire.bsky.social
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Sadly, I did not get the wet nurse job.
4 replies 22 reposts 61 likes
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The saddest girl to ever hold a martini
@lifeisterrible.bsky.social
[ View ] |
idk everyone, things are looking bleak, send a cutie some $, tell your crush you’re crushing, eat an extra bowl of ice cream, change your hair, call off work to do nothing, find a little extra joy any way you can
4 replies 39 reposts 130 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
some of y'all slam that seat down like the toilet owes you money
3 replies 15 reposts 63 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
you had me at finger pistols
1 replies 13 reposts 31 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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When I refer to myself as a ‘stallion,’ I just mean that if you give me peanut butter, I’ll probably talk to you
2 replies 44 reposts 169 likes
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Boog
@boogtweets.bsky.social
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Arctic Scientist: your résumé said you have worked your whole life in extreme cold Me: no, what it says is I’ve been working my entire life with *lowers sunglasses* zero degrees…
0 replies 14 reposts 60 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
it's not early here
2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
you fools act like pimpin' is easy
2 replies 5 reposts 15 likes
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born miserable
@bornmiserable.bsky.social
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if you’re going to correct my joke, at least buy me dinner first
2 replies 25 reposts 76 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
the subtext of all my tweets is much much darker than i care to confess to
3 replies 16 reposts 39 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
💕
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
voider of warranties logging on
1 replies 5 reposts 19 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fellas, this is the only woman who thinks a Cybertruck looks good
32 replies 86 reposts 466 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
if you want. i'm not taking any carbs with me into the afterlife
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
live, laugh, toaster bath
2 replies 14 reposts 35 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
[ View ] |
July 4th is the only day of the year when losing a finger to a chainsaw is “the boring way”
3 replies 25 reposts 90 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
oh DON'T be a weirdo. got it
0 replies 10 reposts 20 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
would you guys plz pretend i wrote a fire post? i'm super busy today
2 replies 5 reposts 15 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] |
good morning to the wicked people specifically
3 replies 52 reposts 200 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Bluesky is where people come when they’re sick of Twitter’s bullshit, but can’t figure out Mastodon.
29 replies 53 reposts 233 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
you need better insurance
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
sorry your sock girlfriend broke up with you
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
i'm not reattaching any of your fingers and thumbs this week. you need to learn
2 replies 10 reposts 26 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
[ View ] |
yes offense
0 replies 3 reposts 11 likes