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David Slack@slack2thefuture.bsky.social |
To the American people: can we borrow some of your stuff for our totally empty kitchen? Like spatulas or some shit?
105 replies 85 reposts 787 likes
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willie m
@trashmuppet.bsky.social
[ View ] |
the future is beige and empty
0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Jon
@jonkatora.bsky.social
[ View ] |
She had my attention until the island sink.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Mark Something
@ohdarkthirty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Table needs a showy array of realtor’s handouts and homeowner’s loan applications.
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Cosmik Slop
@brightanimal.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That poor boy looks like he's about 10 seconds away from another bout of weeping, either before or after.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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NutMeg
@casuallychaotic.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"...and this is the kitchen we never use, since we don't really even live in this state and have a secret, much better house elsewhere..."
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Paul Hostetler
@phostetlerart.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is what you call a timeshare. Outer banks, on a guess. That sink will be in the ocean in 10 years.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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MacMog, Annihilator
@macmog.bsky.social
[ View ] |
rented for an influencer-style photo shoot
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dr Emil Seidel, MD
@zbk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't worry. I checked their cabinet and found this book. They're friendly and just want to help!
0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes
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James M. Kaihatu
@jkaihatu.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Worst Zillow interior pic ever.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kyle J. 🎃
@vaguelysquare.bsky.social
[ View ] |
He definitely moved his family across the country to a house they cannot afford that is possessed by evil spirits.
1 replies 0 reposts 27 likes
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Joseph
@60thst.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Did the Republicans use AI to generate an entire senator and her family?
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Bernadette Vielhaber
@bvielhaber.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Whose foreclosed home because they couldn’t payoff their medical bills was this filmed in?
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Pumpkin Spice Lindsey
@lindseyb.bsky.social
[ View ] |
its so beige
1 replies 1 reposts 44 likes
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2024 DREAD….Alison, still resisting 🌊
@resistingalison.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I don’t think that’s even the same model home kitchen she did her talk from. It has a different faucet in the sink. But goddamn, she’s terrifying. If there is any doubt about the cristofascism, she’s got a 2 inch cross around her neck.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Nowhere 🏳️🌈
@nowhere.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Do we know whose kitchen this actually is yet?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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|
@eridowd.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"We, too, go to our local Cabinet Warehouse Showroom to take promotional pictures instead of cleaning our house"
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jeb Boyt
@jeboyt.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Family photographs?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lisa
@lisamflower.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is the model kitchen in Home Depot lol
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Jason Sullivan
@jason0x21.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hey, there's a teapot in that kitchen! It's not totally empty.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Zoë Keating
@zoecello.bsky.social
[ View ] |
methinks this is actually a high-end luxury kitchen and they deliberately staged it with poor lighting to make the scene more mid
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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SpectorHairDay
@spectorhairday.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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ShadeFawks 🏳️🌈🍰
@shadefawks.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Ah you see 'moms and dads' so obviously a polycule. Why else would you pluralize those.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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MeatyClackerzz
@meatyclackerzz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Someone in this photo has killed someone and it's not who you think
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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ᜱЄ®ᙏ𝐼Ṇ
@blucowdawg.bsky.social
[ View ] |
…also missing… clarence “buy me” thomas, sam “the sham” alito and “amy” coney barrett… so toxic ₜᵣᵤₘₚ told em stay home…
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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LondonLee
@londonlee.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Republicans are incapable of acting like normal human beings
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dutchscientist (the real one)
@dutchscientist.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The eyes of the children scream "Help!!!"
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Self-deprecating ghost
@soundwave187.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Closets? We keep our skeletons in cabinets.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Rosamundi
@rosamundi.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Has that been altered to make the husband look bigger? It feels really off in a way I can't quite describe.
3 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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@dkleeds.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Guess the religion.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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John Sundman
@jsundman.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Paging Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. Your help urgently requested.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tim Reed
@aelou.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“…Moms and Dads who are White just like you.”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ontario Man
@barrhavenist.bsky.social
[ View ] |
oh, silly! The help knows where all that stuff is
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Jeri Smith-Ready
@jsmithready.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The From Earth location is neither credible nor reassuring
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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@robjackel.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's the lone tea kettle that gets me.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Chris Kluwe
@chriswarcraft.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That kitchen is where Nihilist Arby’s posts from
3 replies 1 reposts 57 likes
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Neil Kleid
@neilkleid.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“We’ll take whatever it is you humans—er, I mean, Americans need to prepare the food. Like what is it…dog blender, yes? And manatee zesters?”
0 replies 4 reposts 110 likes
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Man Wright (they/he)
@man-wright.bsky.social
[ View ] |
All four of them look like they have never been in a kitchen in their lives. I'm convinced that they stand at T-pose the second they walk into the foyer of their house.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Linda Holmes
@lindaholmes.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nobody said “Maybe get a plant”?
5 replies 1 reposts 63 likes
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@mrqew.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You can see the listing for the house in other comments, the table was pulled in for this, they had a massive glass table, and the lighting is down a ton. Funny how rich people try to look modest but still fail
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Still Peachy
@stillpeachy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Is she posing for her nursery school picture?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kevin Geddings
@kevingeddings.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Why are they smiling, I thought America was 6 weeks away from total collapse?
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Phil Yabut
@philliefan99.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Maybe they haven't finished unpacking
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Will
@willn.bsky.social
[ View ] |
She just wanted her kitchen to match the emptiness in her soul
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Kwisatz Sazerac 🖤 🐀🐀🐀
@acekatana.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They look like they’re about to kill and eat a dog with their bare hands
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Taco Avenger
@tacoavenger.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Katie Britt prepping for the Republican SOTU
0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes
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The_Turtle_Moves
@theturtlemoves.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Odds on whether there's a countertop's-worth of clutter in a big pile behind the camera, or if that's an entirely unused kitchen, possibly in a vacant house?
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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andralyn doesn't live here anymore
@andralyn.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Any decoration or personality or objects whatsoever might upset some Republicans in some unpredictable way.
0 replies 0 reposts 35 likes
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Maurice Rickard
@onezero.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"We use this kitchen all the time. Why, earlier today I was just in here making...barbecued iguana. For our son, Ridgeway."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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RealBillyG
@realbillyg.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“Dear white, white, white, ohhhh so white people”
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Alexi Wolfe
@alexiwolfe.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm loving the idea that their only kitchen equipment is a pile of 30 spatulas, and nothing else.
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Joseph O
@josepho.bsky.social
[ View ] |
AI never gets the details right.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Muffin Top Momma
@muffintopmomma.bsky.social
[ View ] |
All I could think was Oi the privilege 1. Most of us don't HAVE kitchens like that and 2. Those are the most white millennial names I've ever heard And 3. If you're going to pick apart Biden's speech Maybe don't close with his own exact words Practically verbatim
1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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🏳️⚧️ ARTFIGHT 🌌
@pavlovforgoths.com
[ View ] |
there isn't even soap by the sink
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Dance: 10⁻¹, Looks: 3
@andrew3000.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The reverse shot:
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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LINCARD1000
@lincard1000.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I have no utensils but I must cream.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dankine
@dankine.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Nothing strange there whatsoever!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jugband
@jugbandjames.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That's because he's a divorced dad taking the opportunity to introduce his kids to his short term, inappropriately aged girlfriend on his custody weekend.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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@kittywhisperer.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yay, a Stepford Wives reboot!! This time it’s Stepford Fams.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Big Natural Resources
@dagnificent.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"chairs are for CLOSERS"
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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James-Gwen Speroni
@speroni.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If any of the other three leave anything out on the counter she hits them.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lizard
@lizardky.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"Ma'am, this is a Home Depot."
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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CEO Nwabudike Morgan
@fibonacci.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they just didn't want to violate the Hatch Act.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Crowpotkin
@crowpotkin.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Katie Britt looks like the kind of woman who's mean to you in high school and ten years later is messaging you on Facebook about an opportunity to be your own boss.
2 replies 23 reposts 261 likes
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Movie Vigilante 📼
@movievigilante.com
[ View ] |
Head down to #SpatulaCity!
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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TruelyEsoteric
@truelyesoteric.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There isn't even soap by the sink?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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SpoolandThimble
@tanyaduncan.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That kitchen costs more than my house.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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TwoWheelsDC
@twowheelsdc.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Editor: You light Katie Britt's kitchen for that video? Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin flat just like you asked. Editor: what
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Queen Gwenevere
@queengwenevere.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“Welcome to Bleak House! Would you care for a bowl of gray gruel? You’ll need to bring your own bowl…”
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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𐌷𐌰𐌽𐌰💜💛🖤
@hanaafgrunditha.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hey! I'll have you know that I made that table with a single plank of wood that I got from Home Depot!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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travelincatdoc, dvm jd
@travelincatdoc.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Spiewak
@spiewak.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Hallmark Channel presents: “The Gilgo Beach Killer Family Christmas Special”
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Bob Booten
@bobooten.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Was she barefoot?
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Central NJ Yimby
@princetonyimby.bsky.social
[ View ] |
tfw you just broke into a show-home on a newly-constructed subdivision.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Jack Taylor
@jacktaylor.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Surfaces, dahling! I must see surfaces!!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Chalin
@chalin.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I can’t imagine staging / proofing that picture - with all the dark shadows and mustard yellow overtones and saying YEP that’s the look.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Fred Huddlestun
@fhuddlestun.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Kitchen doesn't look lived in. They must eat out a lot.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Patrick Hardy
@patrickdhardy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Absolutely no cooking happens in this kitchen, that much is obvious
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Love & a Broken Clock
@luvnabroknclock.bsky.social
[ View ] |
At least it isn't covered in guns.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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robertus
@robertus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It looks like the set for one of those "attractive real estate agent REALLY wants to make the sale" movies I've heard about
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ellz
@ellz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yeah did they pop into an unstaged open house or an appliance showroom? Did they stash their gold plated everything under the table?
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Roberto J González
@24rjc.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Worst Airbnb profile picture ever.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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liberalvixen
@liberalvixen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Not to mention the message of this post: we only want moms and dads to help us. Single people, childless couples, LGBTQ couples can go screw.
3 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Michan Connor
@michanconnor.bsky.social
[ View ] |
No, no—Katie just keeps that kitchen immaculately clean with no sign of human habitation like the lord demands all women do. Jesus is sus she’s only got 2 kids, tho
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Space for Dogs
@spacefordogs.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Zoom background
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Edgardo Block
@edgardoblock.bsky.social
[ View ] |
there is a kettle, for dealing with pots I suppose
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Catbus
@catbus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
this is serving 'horror movie where you're stalked and tormented by a family that broke into a model home'
2 replies 0 reposts 124 likes
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Tammi, yeah, that one. 2.0
@tammi.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There is a body in each cupboard.
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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⛧Bobby Ellis🇵🇸
@bobbydellis.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The only real smile in that photo is on the face of her husband, and it's the smile of a man who made sure the preacher really emphasized the whole "wife serve your husband" bit during the wedding.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Helen/Tina/Boob Punch
@tinavstammy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Look at those inset cabinets and matching refrigerator 💸💸💸 They have all that stuff, they just keep it put away
2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Jess Soleigh
@soleigh.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Love 2 address the American People from the Flesh Kitchen
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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one Wolf
@grovertmuldoon.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I don’t require alt text, but I do appreciate it when it’s well done. Outstanding!
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Sean of the 418 I'm a teapot
@sheepbop.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"From Earth" We are not aliens no move along
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Violetmusing🧚🏼♀️
@violetmusing.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm not a Mom or a Dad and have no kitchen table so...
0 replies 0 reposts 31 likes
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Jade Cargill stan account 🍉🇺🇦🇺🇸
@adaytaramember.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They have that hostage feng shui going
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Tony den Haan
@tuxick.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They cleaned up because their future starts on the kitchen table.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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@girlwhowhirls.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is a very real American kitchen populated by actual Americans who are definitely not cyborgs.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Deanna Raybourn
@deannaraybourn.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Decorating trend to replace cottagecore: bleaksad.
1 replies 1 reposts 17 likes
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Tommy
@tommyg.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is honestly an unsettling photo.
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Nothings Monstered
@nothingsmonstrd.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The main thing they're hiding is their servants
2 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Logjam9️⃣
@fivewaylogjam.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m not an expert in body language but I’m pretty sure the way the son is posing is a secret message saying “he beats us viciously”
0 replies 0 reposts 20 likes
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@helchose.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Get a load of the freaking palace she lives in. Very different than the modest corner of her ample kitchen she portrayed.
bsky.app/profile/andy...
4 replies 5 reposts 41 likes
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Head go boomy
@smullins3000.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That poor woman is drunk as hell in the middle of the day.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dan Izzo
@izzos.us
[ View ] |
Shouldn't her husband be telling her to get out of the Senate and start using that kitchen like women are supposed to?
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes