Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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My teenage niece told me I wasn’t cool which is pretty ironic considering I’m fucking cool as shit on the internet
4 replies 25 reposts 78 likes
stuforreal.bsky.social@stuforreal.bsky.social |
544 followers 537 following 397 posts
Screaming on the inside
Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My teenage niece told me I wasn’t cool which is pretty ironic considering I’m fucking cool as shit on the internet
4 replies 25 reposts 78 likes
Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Who up and realizing your scooter gang meant 10 AM NOT PM
0 replies 25 reposts 52 likes
PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
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Date: So are you into cars? Me: um…yeah. I live in one
1 replies 14 reposts 31 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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Meatwave > heatwave
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
kim
@kimmymonte.bsky.social
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demi lovato is short for demilitarized love potato
19 replies 143 reposts 569 likes
Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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When presented with both a self checkout and a cashier lane simaltaneously, I never know which to use. Does the cashier want me to choose their lane to validate the job or are they thinking “bro just use the self checkout and leave me alone”. I struggle with this.
12 replies 33 reposts 95 likes
lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Can I come over and lay on your kitchen floor?
11 replies 34 reposts 83 likes
lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Live, laugh, lick the toad
1 replies 33 reposts 76 likes
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Touch grass? Nah. Pet dog.
5 replies 39 reposts 91 likes
lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Sorry for the things I said when my crotch was sweaty
2 replies 38 reposts 80 likes
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Embracing nihilistic optimism. Maybe things will not matter in a better way tomorrow
2 replies 47 reposts 110 likes
Kelly
@kimtopher22.bsky.social
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Relearning the amount of coffee it takes to make my heart explode.
1 replies 13 reposts 35 likes
debbshock
@debbshock.bsky.social
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i want my coffee to punch me in face as i'm drinking it
1 replies 3 reposts 13 likes
debbshock
@debbshock.bsky.social
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the cybertruck is just an incel rhombus
6 replies 9 reposts 75 likes
Miss Riss
@missriss.bsky.social
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I would like to move somewhere with a yard, as I feel the need to sit, unmoving, in the spray radius of an old school sprinkler for possibly around 16 hours.
2 replies 25 reposts 59 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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Easy to read, like an open grave. Er, book. Open book
1 replies 15 reposts 47 likes
BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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Keep your friends close and your tiny dancers even closer.
8 replies 124 reposts 380 likes
Miss Riss
@missriss.bsky.social
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QOTD: Subscription-model capitalism where you own nothing and just pay a monthly subscription forever (or until the corporation decides to make it unavailable) is especially funny after decades of "under communism you won't be able to own anything!" propaganda.
1 replies 21 reposts 52 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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...lol
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
Jymbo
@smurfmasterjym.bsky.social
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They really eight that one up huh
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
Dead Serious Mick
@deadseriousmick.bsky.social
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Just dropped my pop tarts. So many crumbs in bed tonight, no doubt.
0 replies 9 reposts 20 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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😂Hey Jo! Great to see you!❤️😘🤗
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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It takes zero muscles to remain completely expressionless
4 replies 29 reposts 64 likes
Dead Serious Mick
@deadseriousmick.bsky.social
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Looking back, covid wasn't all bad. I have a gym in the basement and a bar in every other room in the house.
1 replies 14 reposts 62 likes
Wendy
@wendyb07.bsky.social
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Whenever I see M-F after a business’ posted hours I read that as motherfucker. Doors open 8-12 motherfucker.
8 replies 70 reposts 221 likes
BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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full of doughnuts > full of feelings
5 replies 27 reposts 64 likes
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Don’t call them bribes. They’re just “gifts with benefits.”
0 replies 20 reposts 51 likes
SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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The only side effect of this medication I'd like to experience is death
6 replies 27 reposts 70 likes
Inspector Ratchet
@1nspectratchet.bsky.social
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When I die, I want my remains to be scattered at COSTCO. Also, I don't want to be cremated
52 replies 331 reposts 1827 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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Indivisible, indibibbivisible
0 replies 9 reposts 16 likes
chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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A series of increasingly arduous, life or death challenges to obtain the key to the coffee shop bathroom.
1 replies 25 reposts 68 likes
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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I think some of you should stay away from operating light machinery, too.
6 replies 59 reposts 143 likes
Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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There are sad clowns (Pagliacci), terrifying clowns (Pennywise), and unholy combinations of both (Ronald McDonald).
1 replies 9 reposts 33 likes
Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.
20 replies 99 reposts 472 likes
SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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Worship me you son of a bitch (flirting)
13 replies 70 reposts 223 likes
Miss Riss
@missriss.bsky.social
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It is kind of wild that every day another slew of stories drops that give credence to the idea the world would immediately become a better place with the execution of like 5 rich folk.
1 replies 22 reposts 59 likes
KAFUI. 🇬🇭
@mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
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Becoming the first female centaur but nobody notices because they just keep staring at my exposed tits and never look down.
13 replies 33 reposts 270 likes
Just Call Me Frank
@justcallmefrank.bsky.social
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Chicken Soup for the Soulless
0 replies 8 reposts 13 likes
chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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A-tisket a-tasket The revenant clawed its way out of the casket. And on the way he dropped it, He dropped it, he dropped it, And on the way he dropped it. Oh Jesus that's his hand.
1 replies 22 reposts 41 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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And why was six afraid of seven? Because death, it is a singular experience
1 replies 17 reposts 53 likes
@stuforreal.bsky.social
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Knock on wood!...lol
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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Would they leave a note, or
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
Brosephine Wires
@joparkerbear.bsky.social
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Pizza is like sex: extra cheese, easy on the sauce 😭 I knew it. I’m ordering wrong.
1 replies 5 reposts 13 likes
chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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"I'm so pretty," she says to her distorted reflection on the oil-slick surface of the stagnant toxic waste pond.
1 replies 57 reposts 104 likes
Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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She was a rare thing, rare as a clean snot-rocket
2 replies 18 reposts 27 likes
Lance Said This
@lancesaidthis.bsky.social
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I live life on the edge, but mostly out of the anxiety that I've been taking up too much room.
0 replies 4 reposts 3 likes
Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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The mood was unexpectedly upbeat in the Home Depot this morning. So it goes…
2 replies 8 reposts 23 likes
Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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According to this sad country song letter and missing suitcase I'm about to find out what happens when all your electrons leave
2 replies 37 reposts 56 likes
garbage cock.
@lscrapl.bsky.social
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fancy meeting u here
0 replies 11 reposts 15 likes