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πππππππ://
@fish.posting.lol
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finally! reese's without the beef
12 replies 20 reposts 78 likes
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Groceries@crisiscake.bsky.social |
169 followers 201 following 241 posts
no thank you
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πππππππ://
@fish.posting.lol
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finally! reese's without the beef
12 replies 20 reposts 78 likes
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Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
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beefless reese's are no reese's at all, the only acceptable substitute is the pork flavour
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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George
@cinema-diorama.bsky.social
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You spend all this time finding the perfect stray dogs, then you spend even more time training them to become a beautiful and flawless choir, and then at their first performance someone in the front row is eating a whole Honey Baked Ham.
1 replies 3 reposts 6 likes
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slacey AKA MC Griddle
@slacey.net
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for someone as skeptical about the supernatural as i am, iβve spent a lot of time thinking of how i would utilize genie wishes
1 replies 3 reposts 11 likes
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bree (total content)
@goose.ski
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tbh the worst thing about covid was that it is just bad enough to make things worse but not bad enough to force us to make things better
6 replies 23 reposts 142 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Hiring a bunch of mob guys to follow me around and say, βOH!β every time I make a cute little joke.
9 replies 21 reposts 58 likes
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Inspector Ratchet
@1nspectratchet.bsky.social
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"HEY GUYS, QUICK QUESTION" (talks for 57 minutes)
4 replies 11 reposts 35 likes
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Rogs π€
@stev.bsky.social
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I love sex, I'd love to be a part of one someday
3 replies 8 reposts 50 likes
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PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
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No I canβt give you a ride home from work. Thatβs my 15 minutes to cry
2 replies 13 reposts 35 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 72 reposts 205 likes
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Genevieve
@gensibayan.bsky.social
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My boss when he wants to feel productive by proxy:
2 replies 5 reposts 17 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
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Do I have an addictive personality? No, most people prefer speaking to me once, if at all.
0 replies 14 reposts 53 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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My chess strategy? Eating one of your pieces every time you look away
7 replies 47 reposts 138 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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All dishes are disposable if youβre depressed enough.
9 replies 71 reposts 261 likes
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Optimist Primus
@optimistprimus.bsky.social
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Them: Life doesn't come with an instruction manual Me: mine does
5 replies 66 reposts 233 likes
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Sleestak
@sleestak.bsky.social
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4 replies 431 reposts 1747 likes
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Paul Frazee
@pfrazee.com
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Judging by Reddit comments and YouTube essays Iβm starting to think we all vastly under estimated the commercial potential of book reports
21 replies 77 reposts 904 likes
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Jessica, Kait's Wife π³οΈββ§οΈπ³οΈβπ
@pairofclaws.bsky.social
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I grew up IN THE 90s. We didn't have "Xbox" or "iPhones". I drank FROM THE HOSE. My body FILLED UP WITH WATER. I inflated LIKE A GIANT BALLOON. My family BEGGED ME TO STOP. I flew off into the air SPRAYING WATER EVERYWHERE. It was ON THE NEWS. God won't LET ME INTO HEAVEN NOW. Can I get a HECK YEAH?
27 replies 141 reposts 643 likes
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Paperback Paradise
@paperbackparadise.bsky.social
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Book
43 replies 1206 reposts 3378 likes
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Bucky Isotope
@buckyisotope.bsky.social
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1) Biden steps down 2) Harris picks Sonic the Hedgehog to be her new VP 3) Harris steps down 4) President Sonic the motherfucking Hedgehog
2 replies 11 reposts 65 likes
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Tony Corsentino
@notalegalrecord.net
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Radical idea? Make cycling a viable option for people who -arenβt gearheads -donβt care about the βjoy of ridingβ -arenβt aiming to set personal time trial records -prefer street clothes that are neither skintight nor the color of traffic cones -are conflict-averse -also like to drive
24 replies 34 reposts 301 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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With virtually no power at all, there still comes a surprisingly large amount of responsibility.
2 replies 19 reposts 61 likes
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Sardonicus
@sardonicus.eu
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9 replies 63 reposts 351 likes
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MJ Mackenzie
@redheadmuppet.bsky.social
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This made my morning
5 replies 70 reposts 304 likes
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π±πππ πππππ
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Her: Your life just doesnβt seem to have a direction. Me: βDownβ is a direction, Brenda.
1 replies 65 reposts 179 likes
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alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
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sisyphus eagerly watching how itβs made: pulleys
1 replies 22 reposts 105 likes
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Crockett Houghton
@crockettforreal.bsky.social
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My daughter just asked me what I thought about putting bbq sauce on Ramen noodles and I have to say, I think Iβm raising a Top Chef contender over here, folks.
9 replies 10 reposts 125 likes
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Sarah McAnulty, Ph.D.
@sarahmackattack.bsky.social
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Getting a text from a neighbor "Can I ask a very random marine bio question that may or may not be in your realm lol" is the marine biologist equivalent of seeing the bat symbol projected onto the clouds.
7 replies 12 reposts 245 likes
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josh π
@josh.uno
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can you believe what theyβve done to the computer
9 replies 45 reposts 256 likes
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Randy Meeks
@imrandymeeks.bsky.social
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I don't even go there, and this is still the funniest shit
12 replies 420 reposts 1712 likes
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puck
@pucksarcana.bsky.social
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sorry for the delayed response i was traversing the interior realms
0 replies 2 reposts 17 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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buried with a spring loaded contraption that will launch my corpse fifteen yards should I ever be exhumed
8 replies 40 reposts 214 likes
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Anton
@eatleaf.bsky.social
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While any part of my body remains in contact with the ground I will never be defeated. This is because there are bunnies under the ground
1 replies 5 reposts 18 likes
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Sarah π«
@harrietvane.bsky.social
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I am begging companies to stop putting βno sugar, no artificial sweetenersβ onto labels and then adding monkfruit or stevia. I hate the taste of both of them and sometimes I just want something that isnβt sweet.
21 replies 14 reposts 228 likes
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Catbus
@catbus.bsky.social
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pretty cool how the studios make it so every streaming channel has one (and only one) show you want to watch and the only (legal) way to watch it is subscribing (picture unrelated)
2 replies 13 reposts 85 likes
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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
@armyvet1972.bsky.social
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Just for context, telling someone in 2024 about how you remember buying Soundgardenβs ππΆπ±π¦π³πΆπ―π¬π―π°πΈπ― on CD back in 1994 is like somebody in 1994 talking about how they remember seeing The Beatles on Ed Sullivan in 1964
29 replies 39 reposts 238 likes
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shivana
@heyshivana.bsky.social
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i dunno about this whole hot outside thing guys
3 replies 19 reposts 80 likes
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Ro Salarian
@rosalarian.bsky.social
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A comic about disability and drugs in America for #disabilitypridemonth
36 replies 480 reposts 1300 likes
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eli yudin
@eliyudin.bsky.social
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If this is carrots it might be the thing that finally breaks me
37 replies 219 reposts 1423 likes
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Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
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por que no los dos kid dot gif
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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nattie winters
@utilitylimb.bsky.social
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i figured out why the castlevania bitey dad is named dracula. that's alucard's name backwards.
13 replies 48 reposts 545 likes
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Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
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obviously, replacing the top text with "I didn't clean those toilets" & getting rid of the polo would make this absurd statement completely reasonable beyond satire
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Groceries
@crisiscake.bsky.social
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i've always wanted to go in one of those sanitizing petard domes that drill into the ground from monsters inc
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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Sorry I was late I was frantically applying to other jobs
4 replies 50 reposts 206 likes
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Sweetie Ο
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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The Men in Black containment crew but for when Iβve lost my shit in public
6 replies 42 reposts 82 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Microdosing being an elephant by making you uncomfortable when Iβm in the room.
1 replies 61 reposts 139 likes
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heinz beans
@heinzbeans.bsky.social
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i can't count so any post could be haiku i wouldn't know
2 replies 12 reposts 83 likes
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ΒγγγγγγγγγtheγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΒγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγpostes
@rem.postes.club
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where was lightning mcqueen on january 6th
9 replies 38 reposts 156 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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[the mechanic. sweat stained men in muscle shirts fixing hard steel parts with bare greasy hands.] [me, dressed in all white, carrying a sβwell bottle, in my manliest voice]: so uhh the carβs broke see. checked it out myself. it does not move. so howβs bout you apply some of that fixing, capiche?
2 replies 11 reposts 42 likes
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Jerry Chen
@jcsalterego.bsky.social
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at 10,000 posts, the bsky app should do a little confetti effect, and then a drone should crash through your living room window, take your phone and throw it into the nearest body of water with a minimum depth of 50 feet
14 replies 50 reposts 374 likes