Davoid

@davoid.bsky.social

169 followers 563 following 712 posts

Used to joke poorly on the hell site as Walter Ego but then I stopped. Stop me before I stop myself again

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 06:55 UTC

Healthy religion, very sane

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Wilbur72 @wilbur72.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 00:49 UTC

A “yankee” is just like a “quickie” but you do it yourself.

2 replies 11 reposts 32 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 02:05 UTC

reskeet with a tweet you still think about

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 14:34 UTC

248 years ago today, Jesus gave birth to a pile of guns

4 replies 80 reposts 352 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 20:24 UTC

It's fucking dismal any way you slice it. Toss in the fact that temperature rise statistically brings with it more crime, more violence, more war, just as a physiological effect. I wonder what Canada's border plan is to keep Americans out?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

i am carbs @iamcarbs.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 18:17 UTC

taking my dog to see the fireworks on our way home from the vacuum cleaner convention

3 replies 41 reposts 150 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 19:39 UTC

dang

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Davoid

@kattsdogma.bsky.social
[ View ] Oct 14, 2023 at 18:37 UTC

🎵ohhh say can you SEE, you parked too close to me; getting out of my car, somewhat peri-lous-ly🎵 - FRANCIS SCOTT KEY’s your car

3 replies 26 reposts 55 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 19:31 UTC

Selecting "Skyrim" from the Mile High Club menu

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 04:31 UTC

a couple hours at a good pinball machine would fix me

8 replies 55 reposts 113 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Robin Marwick @electricland.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 02:58 UTC

This made me laugh (again) 🥬

10 replies 320 reposts 888 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 05:21 UTC

I was reclaiming bricks from a construction project at night in the bright glow of a work lamp. I paused to lean back and stretch, looking up just in time to see an owl, wings outstretched, flash through the light ten feet above me.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Catbus @catbus.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 16:59 UTC

I kneel in the direction of Google HQ chanting my mantra, "the electricity needs of AI supercede the human requirement of an inhabitable planet" outside the window a choir of Boston Dynamics robot dogs bark the national anthem

11 replies 289 reposts 955 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Ygrene ✔️ @ygrene.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 21:53 UTC

[arriving in hell] Satan: welco- Me: hit me with a plate of your eggs bro Satan: Me: (sprinkling motion) with the paprika

12 replies 211 reposts 1010 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 07:30 UTC

Using MOVIE as an acronym, recommend 5 films Midnight Express Once Upon a Time in America Vacation It Follows Edge of Tomorrow

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 21:39 UTC

whoa that font really took over. Now I've done it

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 21:38 UTC

I mean if you get pleasure out of that without having d̶̵̨̨̨͎̯͓̳͕̯̥̠͖͙͈̠͕̟̭̮͎̠͚ͮ͊ͪ͐ͥ̿ͯͪ̔̐ͨ̅ͦͫ̄̌̿̚͘̕͝͝͡a̻̣͔ͦ̉͛ͭ́̅ͣ͞rk̴̡̪̦ͪ̌̀ t͔̙͙̦̬͚̣̘͍͊̔̑͌͒͐́̅ͮͫ͌̉͜h̶̨̡̟̣̗̙̹͆ͭ̎ͦͫ͋̍̕̕͡_̸̔͡ỏ̸̰̲̰̥̖̥̮̰͓̠͔͊̏̾ͯ̉͆̑̏̏̒̋ͬͪͨ̈̊̋̔̒͢͟͝͡ͅų̴͔̞͓͔͇̙͇̺̥̿́ͩͨ̑͑̓̉̏͋͆̇ͩ͊̓̆͋ͯ̿ͮ͌̚͠g̷̨̧̲͖̞̲̰͖̫̞͙͂̿̃̎͋̇́͋ͧ̃̐͞͠h̵̷̫͇̋̄ͫt̹ş̵̸̛̖̳͍͍͉̙̘͖̬̀̽͛ͮ̆̃̎̕͡ creep in later, then great. I just personally think it's a waste of mental energy

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 21:25 UTC

Or you can choose not to bother and just go about your day! This too is an option!

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 07:44 UTC

Not sure who CL is, but they OWN

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 17:39 UTC

I hope if we go to war with China they will still keep loaning us random pandas for two years at a time

4 replies 29 reposts 107 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 23:34 UTC

I like to go swimming in picturesque coves because that's where all the dead ppl's ashes are

0 replies 3 reposts 10 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 22:53 UTC

I know there's no hard evidence of cancer risk but on top of everything else I wouldn't trust anything that generates EMFs to be under or on top of my baby for potentially hours on end

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Davoid

p u g @gmeposhpug.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 14:45 UTC

Babe what's wrong, you've hardly glanced down at my banana peel cowboy boots

14 replies 72 reposts 311 likes

Reposted by Davoid

DenTheluck @denislachance.bsky.social
[ View ] Mar 26, 2024 at 11:14 UTC

2 replies 12 reposts 40 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:25 UTC

When I stumble upon three wells

1 replies 3 reposts 10 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:23 UTC

I love having an attic and a large shed with a loft but they're going to be the death of me when we eventually move. Hell, I have 6'x8' *exterior* shelving full of shit. Fuck is wrong with me

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:11 UTC

[billy squier stroke me gif]

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 15:52 UTC

The original name of Ireland was just "Island" until they said it out loud

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

La Captain Oblivious @whatthefoxy.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 14:04 UTC

I was crying to a French song, until someone told me it was about agriculture.

22 replies 72 reposts 202 likes

Reposted by Davoid

balb @balb.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 01:41 UTC

I'd love to have a camel. some bactrian undulator loyally steering me over steppe or massif. gentle and affectionate but not without his moods. feel certain we'd have the respectful bond of steed and mount. I'll make do with this Suzuki Hayabusa Gen III Hyperbike however

1 replies 7 reposts 53 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 08:17 UTC

Love it and the soundtrack too

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

nige @sensualdad.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 04:20 UTC

i drive a tiny car to compensate for my giant penis

11 replies 33 reposts 190 likes

Reposted by Davoid

The Shrimpening 🎩🦐☕️🫖🪸🐚 @theshrimpening.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:30 UTC

guy who loves steak be like- boy howdy i think I’ll have steak for dinner *giant centipede uncoils from the ceiling behind him*

1 replies 3 reposts 9 likes

Reposted by Davoid

i am carbs @iamcarbs.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 17:32 UTC

on road trips i listen to artists who match the vibe of where i'm traveling so in new york it's billy joel and in new jersey it's springsteen and down south it's matthew mcconaughey blowing into an empty milk jug while dragging his nuts against a washboard even tho i really can't stand country music

0 replies 12 reposts 21 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 01:33 UTC

I knew my mom was twisted but she lets you call her that?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Minister of Loneliness @steamymac.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 20:16 UTC

Excuse me a moment, I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. (medically induced coma)

5 replies 40 reposts 82 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 16:39 UTC

A much lower financial burden on the state than simply supplying more housing and services I'm sure

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:57 UTC

Can I go back in time and do this as well instead of the other thing

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Reposted by Davoid

tara @weedlejuice.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 23:33 UTC

My life would be so much easier if my doppelgänger wasn't obsessed with hunting me through the sewers at night

7 replies 28 reposts 123 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 20:43 UTC

The house had good bones, which didn't make up for its shitty attitude

0 replies 7 reposts 19 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Katie @themilkwitch.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 23:36 UTC

The mosquitos that bit me didn't know how powerful I am and now they're hulking out. Some of them can't handle it

4 replies 28 reposts 94 likes

Reposted by Davoid

StefanThinks @stefanthinks.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 06:05 UTC

Did you just imply my mom has an insatiable sexual appetite?? How dare you try to slut-shame my mother! Her level of promiscuity is none of your business. Good day!

1 replies 5 reposts 16 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Asstown Baker @asstownbakery.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 27, 2024 at 06:14 UTC

Starts an all employee meeting by acknowledging the obvious sexual tension

1 replies 9 reposts 19 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 18:46 UTC

I mean what would right wing weirdos know about taking dubious brain supplements and subsisting on cans of Monster

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 18:39 UTC

www.google.com/amp/s/deadli...

Someone actually tracked down who he was, and his name was a bit more improbable!

2 replies 1 reposts 6 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 18:37 UTC

And saying "We should improve society somewhat."

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Reposted by Davoid

Gore Vidal Sassoon @jimmyjazz1968.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 04:18 UTC

I’m fine like wine when I start to rap

4 replies 2 reposts 24 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 01:51 UTC

Love how portions of them look like luminous negatives

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 01:49 UTC

I listen for the crooning falsetto/baritone combo. FrappucciNOOEEEEWWWW

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Davoid @davoid.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 01:36 UTC

This is more about the typical atmosphere than the typical visuals. But my gut, it is a work in progress

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes