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Andreya@andreyasasylum.bsky.social |
468 followers 467 following 318 posts
Cat lady. Lesbian. Not your señorita.
Enter at your own risk: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabdhdjbnqpa
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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If this laptop is actually the waffle you use to organize all your extra keycaps then why did the geek squad replace the motherboard in my syrup
2 replies 40 reposts 78 likes
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Andreya
@andreyasasylum.bsky.social
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Sheba really doesn’t like Finn and got mad when he had the audacity to look at her. 🤣
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Kissed a robot and gave it receiving signals from outer space but I swear I tested negative on my last being a batshit outcast
2 replies 40 reposts 45 likes
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PAM!
@pamtoo.bsky.social
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Don't know what your problem is, except that I love you. That could be construed as a problem, if you're a little bitch.
0 replies 13 reposts 39 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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They say truth is stranger than fiction. But not stranger than apocalyptic zombie "Full House" fan fiction.
1 replies 7 reposts 22 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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I don’t know how to be a willing participant in reality anymore.
7 replies 50 reposts 116 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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Turning my home office into an opium den for better vibes.
1 replies 38 reposts 89 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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i’m ugly on the inside where it counts thank you
6 replies 91 reposts 268 likes
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lukelukeluke
@lukelukeluke.bsky.social
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I know all turtlenecks are technically crotchless but I won’t call them that
4 replies 23 reposts 103 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Apparently my milky way accent is so strong I'm not taken seriously in other acting galaxies? Fuxitron 'em all then. Fuxitron 'em allbot straight to 01001000 01100101 01101100 01101100
5 replies 45 reposts 78 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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Don’t bring me flowers. Let me carve my initials on your forehead.
6 replies 24 reposts 48 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Maybe if I sit still enough for long enough in this damp corner of the forgotten forest, the forbidden fungi it will take to fix me will grow itself.
1 replies 32 reposts 69 likes
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Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
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You know one thing that's good about getting old? No peer pressure! I just don't give a rat's ass what anyone else is doing.
13 replies 64 reposts 178 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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I'm a hotdog I'm a fungus My second spleen Is humongous
4 replies 40 reposts 78 likes
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Splendid Hobo
@splendidhobo.bsky.social
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I'm gen-xcedrin
0 replies 28 reposts 52 likes
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Hyde
@hyde85.bsky.social
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I like you. A lot. You remind me of my dead hamster.
5 replies 19 reposts 39 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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anything whiter than a laundry detergent commercial?
9 replies 22 reposts 47 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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Oh stop crying! Trauma lasts forever.
2 replies 18 reposts 36 likes
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
@professorkiosk.bsky.social
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Mentally ill? You may be entitled to decompensation.
1 replies 7 reposts 25 likes
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CrazyMyra
@outonthemoors.bsky.social
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Big "not my circus, not my monkeys" vibe towards this app these days.
4 replies 22 reposts 56 likes
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Andreya
@andreyasasylum.bsky.social
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That’s awesome! You’re my hero.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Lauren
@laurenkayes.bsky.social
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It’s so cool that cities are like “pweeease only turn your AC on if you’re actively dying and don’t go below 79 🥺🤘🏻💗” while the AI nobody asked for is slurping up the power grid to make 1 image of a girl with 5 tits
96 replies 3781 reposts 9010 likes
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The Grim Reaper
@thegrimreapernow.bsky.social
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I do not have a "dick" please do not request "pics" You evolved from soup, be prouder of how far you've come
12 replies 40 reposts 268 likes
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Andreya
@andreyasasylum.bsky.social
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Do it!!!
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Andreya
@andreyasasylum.bsky.social
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The foster babies had their second round of vaccines today.
1 replies 1 reposts 9 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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Kellogg's Cheerios in the streets, Great Value Toasted O's in the sheets.
2 replies 63 reposts 141 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Mambo #6, wherein I just sing the names of every woman I’ve ever disappointed sexually. It’s a lengthy song.
6 replies 18 reposts 40 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Whenever you need me, call my name into a dumpster, and I’ll be there, ready and eager to disappoint.
1 replies 36 reposts 83 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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I’m totally fine with not being popular on social media because I’m way less popular in real life, and that’s saying something.
2 replies 24 reposts 59 likes
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Jennifer Slowpez
@jennslowpez.bsky.social
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I'm bitching about people trespassing on my property or breaking into my garage and everyone's advice: "SHOOT THEM!" What the hell? I don't think I want to take on the trauma of taking someone's life for my catalytic converter or a lawn mower. Thanks for the advice though.
4 replies 12 reposts 29 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Dreamt I added extra mayonnaise to the crab dip at your wedding (I brought my own mayonnaise and at your next wedding there will be a bag check policy).
0 replies 23 reposts 53 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I bring a certain something to the party and that something is bees
17 replies 83 reposts 297 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Everyone’s playing an angle and I’m terrible at trigonometry.
5 replies 52 reposts 86 likes
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Ken I kick it
@hisanthropic.bsky.social
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A lot of people on social media haven't been punched in the face enough and it really shows.
0 replies 3 reposts 8 likes
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The Grim Reaper
@thegrimreapernow.bsky.social
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If I haven't followed you here, it is but a limitation of this magic, you call it technology Rest assured I already follow you by other means
2 replies 7 reposts 47 likes
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The Grim Reaper
@thegrimreapernow.bsky.social
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I wasn't expecting people to follow me Traditionally, that's not how this has worked
30 replies 34 reposts 364 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Sound effects don't care what you're actually doing, they think it's funny to ring a phone when you're using cups and a string to avoid your student loan payments
2 replies 34 reposts 54 likes
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Frankenfreckle
@neptunian9.bsky.social
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Sorry I ate your shit and never died.
2 replies 14 reposts 35 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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Inside of me are two cans of tuna. Both are expired.
2 replies 20 reposts 54 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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No no, that's my meat spatula, this is my self defense spatula.
0 replies 21 reposts 44 likes
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Wendy
@wendyb07.bsky.social
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Whenever I see M-F after a business’ posted hours I read that as motherfucker. Doors open 8-12 motherfucker.
8 replies 70 reposts 220 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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"FINGER QUOTES" ARE VIOLENCE
1 replies 17 reposts 30 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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I used to do a lot of litposting but the only nude I ever got was a screenshot from the Canterbury Tales where she says "queynte"
3 replies 31 reposts 55 likes
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Becky, Baroness of Bunzy, Co-CEO Execubetch™️
@beckybunzy.bsky.social
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If you really don’t want to know the answer, then don’t ask. Sometimes it’s just best to move on and not look back.
1 replies 5 reposts 19 likes
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Cats of Yore
@catsofyore.bsky.social
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Baby blep! Postcard from my collection - copyright 1900, sent 1907.
12 replies 111 reposts 1392 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Yelling at people in cars like they can hear me.
12 replies 44 reposts 137 likes