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Chestbursty@chestrovert.bsky.social |
888 followers 571 following 2540 posts
I'm not exactly what you'd call "novelty corn cob holder rich"
My care bear stares: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dlm76unvjc5an7kn56z6j4ds/feed/aaab3oaymtk2g
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Seamus O'Flaugherty
@seamussaid.bsky.social
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my company has about 4 field managers over the age of 50 and 6 under 40 so one of us older guys started calling us the Traveling Wilburys and hell yeah I'm the Tom Petty of this group motherfucker
0 replies 4 reposts 6 likes
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Lord Juiblex
@lordjuiblex.bsky.social
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What if we stuck live oysters up our butts?
2 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Stalled Traffic
@stalledtraffic.bsky.social
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Sorry I didn't respond to your subskeet. It felt too much like you wanted this parasocial relationship to be real.
0 replies 5 reposts 12 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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Yes, its me! I’m back I hate to ask, but I’d love to find my people again. Any chance you guys help me out?
18 replies 65 reposts 116 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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I admit I guffawed
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ƙappa
@dopeshow.bsky.social
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Every time you repost yourself an angel EATS A BABY
2 replies 3 reposts 3 likes
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(Don't Cry For Me) Open Doorley
@tchotch.bsky.social
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You could say I'm a buns man. I cannot because I have 3 bao crammed in my mouth
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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The coffee guy at the festival said that Scots are the most fucked up people he's ever encountered. This is the highest level of national pride I get to experience
0 replies 11 reposts 38 likes
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Toby
@tobestewart.bsky.social
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I’ve decided to be a fuckin’ diplomat
0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes
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Ed Morrish
@edmorrish.bsky.social
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someone should tell hedgehogs about missionary
7 replies 10 reposts 28 likes
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Spooky Sara
@pashion.bsky.social
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6 replies 14 reposts 68 likes
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The Real Kim Shady
@kimmysunshine.bsky.social
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i’ll either feed you from my mouth like a baby bird or cut your safety cord. you decide
0 replies 8 reposts 13 likes
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Veruca's Alt
@verucas-alt.bsky.social
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Life is short, kiss your girl.
1 replies 11 reposts 30 likes
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Miss Riss
@missriss.bsky.social
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Sitting out in the car listening to the dulcet sounds of a coyote definitely catching a cat for dinner.
1 replies 8 reposts 21 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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My heart beats for you. Like, maybe twice. The rest is for me because sort of essential to life, duh.
0 replies 10 reposts 20 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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[cashier slapping the cool ranch chips out of my hand]: Oh no you don't, nerd
3 replies 29 reposts 87 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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Had a good weekend but it feels like a treat now to walk through a door without all the zipping and the crawling
0 replies 13 reposts 32 likes
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KAFUI. 🇬🇭
@mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social
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*judge peers at sealed note before glaring over at jury box* what the fuck does “can we have a hint?” mean? what the hell, guys?
1 replies 15 reposts 69 likes
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🦊 foxy99, a spry 99yr old fox
@foxy99.bsky.social
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0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes
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Jay
@jaycubed2k.bsky.social
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There are good people still in this world because a while ago when I posted a joke about getting juggalo makeup on a fursuit someone tried to offer tips to help get it out and I think that's genuinely beautiful
0 replies 13 reposts 36 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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Sorry I was late I was frantically applying to other jobs
4 replies 50 reposts 206 likes
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Jay
@jaycubed2k.bsky.social
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Want to come over and have anxiety induced stomach aches together
1 replies 12 reposts 32 likes
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🍉Amelia🍉
@theartfulldodger.bsky.social
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I apologise after every joke i tell Its just polite
0 replies 4 reposts 8 likes
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Rogs 🤖
@stev.bsky.social
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Time to warm up m'lady's mac on cheese
0 replies 6 reposts 23 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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i’ll have you know i go through several thoughts a day
5 replies 16 reposts 49 likes
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Timothy
@herooftim.bsky.social
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You know what? You’re not very nice *uncurly’s your fries*
1 replies 12 reposts 46 likes
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Coach Finstock
@coachfinstock.bsky.social
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2 replies 38 reposts 299 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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companies be like hey to celebrate our birthday we’re having a contest to see who can buy our product the most, the winner will receive a sample of our product and the opportunity to do marketing for our product
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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intrusive thot
@queenjolene.bsky.social
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why am I seeing random dudes post dead hooker and fat jokes on here and get reposted??? like Jesus Christ this is hack shit
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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@electricchimp.bsky.social
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instead of doing dishes, just throwing ones I don't like that much anymore out the window, brushing the worst off my favorites
2 replies 5 reposts 15 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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And you will know us by the trail of dead or maybe just the smell of feet.
0 replies 26 reposts 61 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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Naked and Afraid (there’s a spider in my shower)
12 replies 96 reposts 428 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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That's what I call foldin' money
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Senior Citizen Kane
@seniorcitizenkane.bsky.social
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I wonder what it would feel like if I ever got all into whack.
2 replies 11 reposts 21 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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I prefer the duller cheddars, stop making everything sharper
3 replies 12 reposts 36 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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(I'm planning on going tomorrow)
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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Self-care!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
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where tf is that asteroid?
0 replies 4 reposts 9 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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i'm a duck amuck stuck in rewriting of my character have you seen the rest of me do you know if she's clinging to erased holes in a page fallen in while swearing they weren't there you know i hate to bug but would it be too much to ask for you to draw me a safe way out of here one more time in color
3 replies 30 reposts 59 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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i exist in the space between the atoms
3 replies 9 reposts 22 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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Seems the only time I go grocery shopping is when I leave the house to buy my monthly weed, like a little food reward for keeping myself high
1 replies 5 reposts 15 likes
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Pretty Good Mike
@prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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my good sir, i do not “bam-bam in the ham”, i create sweet and passionate amorous congress with the woman i love
1 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Avery Edison
@aedison.bsky.social
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I value people who *say* mean things but *do* nice things.
5 replies 12 reposts 65 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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Find the person you want to be silly gooses with forever.
12 replies 87 reposts 257 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Sorry for the things I said when my crotch was sweaty
2 replies 38 reposts 80 likes
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Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
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If you still go through the toy aisle every time you visit Target, then we can definitely be friends.
4 replies 34 reposts 90 likes
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bacon popsicle 🫀
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains. Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
4 replies 61 reposts 156 likes
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saja
@saja.bsky.social
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i see walmart was the best place to ask about getting blood out of a wig
1 replies 16 reposts 38 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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Missed Connection: I was making doves cry. You were listening to what it sounds like.
5 replies 26 reposts 121 likes