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Damnit Janet@damnitjanet.bsky.social |
1134 followers 1044 following 5071 posts
I'm an acquired taste, like panda meat, Buckfast or tentacle porn
Scottish and Queer | she/her
Cask-strength me: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:t3dajzevhocfddfzczceizlp/feed/aaaoojl75k4ve
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Astr0z0mbreez
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social
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What if I told you the dinosaurs faked their own deaths & are out *there* with Tupac & Elvis? Would you blame them? No. No you wouldn’t.
0 replies 17 reposts 35 likes
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Eric Replatformed
@21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
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I wondered why I was snoring then looked out the window and saw the raining and pouring
1 replies 4 reposts 11 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Apparently having your mom calling you in sick from work doesn’t count.
7 replies 42 reposts 121 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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All dishes are disposable if you’re depressed enough.
9 replies 71 reposts 272 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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I feel I should be honest with my followers I’m balding like a middle aged man according to my shower drain rn
3 replies 8 reposts 37 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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@nicebutnot.bsky.social i think you should know that when i read out your handle i say it like “nice butt….not!!!” and then i laugh a little
2 replies 4 reposts 14 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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my recipe for success is finishing 0.05% of a task and then moving on to do the same for another task, all day, until it takes 2 months to complete any questions?
10 replies 27 reposts 106 likes
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Pot Shop Boy
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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*dropping through your ceiling and crashing through your desk* are you mad at me?
1 replies 34 reposts 79 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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[Eminem's rap battle opponent] nice vomit on your sweater, did your mom make it for you?
5 replies 37 reposts 151 likes
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Adobe Creative Clout Services
@drangel.bsky.social
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Well who's the dumb dummy who ate a fry directly out of the air fryer last night and burned the inside of his esophagus and now life is pain it's me the problem is me
2 replies 1 reposts 18 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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The coffee guy at the festival said that Scots are the most fucked up people he's ever encountered. This is the highest level of national pride I get to experience
0 replies 15 reposts 65 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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babe, i'm not coming to your meeting, i have a life
6 replies 31 reposts 115 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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This isn’t a spiral into insanity, it’s a beautiful pirouette.
2 replies 31 reposts 72 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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That's not how we do
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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I can do it but it gives me cramps
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Don’t make me unleash my brain on you
6 replies 39 reposts 87 likes
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Neener Neener Neener 🇨🇦🍁
@neenerneenerneener.bsky.social
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The age-old expression, “It’s as American as mom and apple pie,” naturally gives rise to the age-old debate: MILF vs. APILF.
0 replies 5 reposts 6 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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He might be a bot
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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Yes, its me! I’m back I hate to ask, but I’d love to find my people again. Any chance you guys help me out?
22 replies 69 reposts 121 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Nine Inch Nails would be an awesome name for a Christian rock band.
13 replies 38 reposts 261 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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[getting pulled over] Cop: lemme see your drafts folder Me: I don’t use a drafts folder Cop: holy fucking shit you’re free to go
3 replies 41 reposts 122 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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anyway here’s a baby raccoon sleeping in a hammock
42 replies 427 reposts 2832 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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heatwave needs to calm tf down
25 replies 114 reposts 685 likes
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kate
@katewitko.bsky.social
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the cats killed a bug and now they're crowded around it like shit how do we hide the body (priya will eat it, that's how they will hide the body)
3 replies 10 reposts 86 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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hello? where do we file our weather grievances?
14 replies 72 reposts 196 likes
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George
@cinema-diorama.bsky.social
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I knew what my tailor was thinking but was too afraid to ask so I said, “Yes, these are child-sized underpants with the Incredibles on them, but Disney doesn’t make them in adult sizes, so what am I supposed to do?”
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I lost my glasses awhile ago so I have no idea what the last 6300 posts were about
3 replies 32 reposts 91 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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The only dueling I’ll consider is pistols at dawn. *𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦*
3 replies 30 reposts 52 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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Put my empty coffee cup on my roomba hoping it comes back my way with a refill.
3 replies 10 reposts 52 likes
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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
@armyvet1972.bsky.social
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We should make a blood pact which states that none of us will hit the heart button on a skeet once it reaches 69 likes
0 replies 4 reposts 8 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Sure you can sort your laundry by color, OR you can add 1/2 cup of cocoa powder to every rinse cycle.
2 replies 20 reposts 59 likes
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BippityBoppityBong
@bippityboppitybong.bsky.social
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I can say without hyperbole that I'd rather have a tooth extracted than to go in a cell phone store.
3 replies 3 reposts 20 likes
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Hollywood Hill
@hollywoodhill.bsky.social
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A hawk tuah-k a shit on that thang
0 replies 3 reposts 5 likes
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DM used to mean dungeon master
@joshhull.bsky.social
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Sin city is just short for synchronicity
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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i had a good post but now i’ve forgotten it: a love story
2 replies 16 reposts 39 likes
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Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
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One day i'm gonna have too many naps and my ear's just gonna flatten round my head
2 replies 19 reposts 47 likes
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Frovo
@frovo.bsky.social
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INVENTOR OF THE WORD "TALK": i'm gonna add a silent letter in there just to fuck with everybody lol INVENTOR OF THE WORD "LISTEN": lmao that's hilarious ima do that too
0 replies 8 reposts 37 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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My hot sauce is freaking saucy let me tell you that much
8 replies 26 reposts 58 likes
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Astr0z0mbreez
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social
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Walkin past a Planet Fitness yelling through the window, “My Dad has bigger muscles than all of you w out even trying!”
0 replies 9 reposts 20 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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find something you'd loathe on today's news menu how about anxiety with a side of dread and is that all or are you interested in specials we've got (see market price) crushing despair it pairs well with nights scared awake did you save room let's box it up you can take it to go
3 replies 26 reposts 39 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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I have ruined the poem about plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me I was bored attachment avoidant and so hot
0 replies 6 reposts 26 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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This is just to say I have stifled the romance that was in a younger me and which you were probably intending to love you back Forgive me I'm still a child so sweet and yet so harmed
6 replies 25 reposts 61 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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I'm sorry but no, I will not be manifesting anything more substantial than a tape worm.
5 replies 22 reposts 50 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 73 reposts 210 likes
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yoyo
@deadgirlyoyo.bsky.social
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my boob sweat brings all the boys to the yard
0 replies 11 reposts 19 likes
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FK
@funkelly.bsky.social
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licking the licking toad man for more licking toads
1 replies 8 reposts 28 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Who up and realizing your scooter gang meant 10 AM NOT PM
0 replies 26 reposts 53 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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i'm a duck amuck stuck in rewriting of my character have you seen the rest of me do you know if she's clinging to erased holes in a page fallen in while swearing they weren't there you know i hate to bug but would it be too much to ask for you to draw me a safe way out of here one more time in color
3 replies 30 reposts 59 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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if you are every x in a graph of tragedy are you a variable plot of destruction you contain both points you're a linear problem can they find a solution in time to intercept the line before over and over you're a decimal thought stuck repeating over and over and over a dial tone of mental math
6 replies 34 reposts 53 likes