Salty MacTavish's avatar

Salty MacTavish

@saltymactavish.bsky.social

2365 followers 2193 following 3533 posts

Starting each day with a lusty Wilhelm scream
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaalp2rwdye36
Here’s our wicked pissah Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/KitchenTableWorks

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Pretty Good Mike's avatar Pretty Good Mike @prettygoodmike.bsky.social
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i like bsky because it’s a diverse melting pot of numerous psychiatric disorders

9 replies 43 reposts 168 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

Father Jim's Flapjacks's avatar Father Jim's Flapjacks @fathersfjs.bsky.social
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My flag still says "flappejackken" which is the olde English for "to flip the leathery wheat"

1 replies 2 reposts 1 likes

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Dusty B's avatar Dusty B @dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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This is how a good community takes shape. You are doing Gods work, truly

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

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Frances Meh's avatar Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
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one must imagine sisyphus honking his bobo in a sundress your honor

2 replies 27 reposts 79 likes

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PAM!'s avatar PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social
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Fortune cookie: IF YOU LEAVE A WOMAN WAITING TO BE WHISKED AWAY TO TACO BELL SHE'LL WIPE OUT YOUR SAVINGS BUYING A LAKE HOUSE WHILE YOU SLEEP.

1 replies 14 reposts 28 likes

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Nuclear Winter 's avatar Nuclear Winter @4slars.bsky.social
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Today's Tarot Card: You will start missing some of the crap from under your bed.

0 replies 20 reposts 42 likes

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Splendid Hobo's avatar Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social
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Sorry I mispronounced your name, Siobhan, but what the fuck?

11 replies 45 reposts 176 likes

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Criag's avatar Criag @craigpsutton.bsky.social
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I went home to Oklahoma and my dad's neighborhood now has a roundabout. I commented "how European of you", and he made me get out of the car.

2 replies 6 reposts 38 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

Dusty B's avatar Dusty B @dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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Being thrown headfirst into a wood chipper would fix me

2 replies 11 reposts 25 likes

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Frances Meh's avatar Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
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recommending my dentist to a friend and asking for my referral bonus to be paid in teeth

4 replies 25 reposts 80 likes

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Dusty B's avatar Dusty B @dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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Me: “get in loser” Also Me: “Who are you talking to?”

0 replies 11 reposts 20 likes

Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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We used to spend hours burping Tupperware containers. You kids should have never let us olds take the wheel

1 replies 14 reposts 41 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

weeder's avatar weeder @weeder.bsky.social
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I always cut the plastic soda rings for sea turtles even though they probably wouldn't give me the time of day.

12 replies 41 reposts 313 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

Sweetie π's avatar Sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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We only celebrate the 4th so white people can gather and eat mayonnaise

12 replies 36 reposts 90 likes

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Frovo's avatar Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
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i forgot to buy fireworks so im just burning a pile of money

4 replies 27 reposts 86 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

Criag's avatar Criag @craigpsutton.bsky.social
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I just want to create a world that's better for my dog than my parents' dog.

2 replies 23 reposts 95 likes

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Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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I don’t have eyebrows. I have 500 feral horses riding out storms on Sable Island with their butts to the wind

2 replies 20 reposts 47 likes

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Ennui Doofen's avatar Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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men's soap? is using a forest scented soap gonna burn my tits off or what

36 replies 82 reposts 280 likes

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Tusk Jenkins 's avatar Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Welcome to the scratch paper museum please crumple up the guest book and miss the trash can

1 replies 66 reposts 129 likes

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Reposted by Salty MacTavish

4am's avatar 4am @4am.bsky.social
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Blueberry brigade logging on (I am making a parfait with blueberries)

0 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

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ᔕᕼᑌT ᑌᑭ, ᕼOᖇSƬ's avatar ᔕᕼᑌT ᑌᑭ, ᕼOᖇSƬ @californiahorst.bsky.social
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Hawk Tua sounds like an alien character from Star Trek

1 replies 1 reposts 9 likes

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RedwoodGirl (she/her) 💖💜💙's avatar RedwoodGirl (she/her) 💖💜💙 @redwoodgirl.bsky.social
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Your honor, with all due respect: it wasn't a rock, it was a rock lobster.

1 replies 4 reposts 47 likes

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Roger Vaillancourt's avatar Roger Vaillancourt @rogerjva.bsky.social
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Clean the drain filter while you're at it, it'll prevent overeating at the cookout

0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

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Your Honor, pls's avatar Your Honor, pls @mrmambo.bsky.social
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I AM PICKING UP SOME RANDOM NEIGHBOR'S DOG'S SHIT ON MY PROPERTY AND VOWING NOT TO RETALIATE...LIKE A GOOD AMERICAN

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

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Frovo's avatar Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
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*gets last year's blown off fingers out of the attic*

0 replies 10 reposts 71 likes

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Dusty B's avatar Dusty B @dustyinthewind.bsky.social
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I was once called a charity case by a vapid, new rich woman that was raised on a shoe string

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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I AM FIXING THE DISHWASHER LIKE A GOOD AMERICAN

5 replies 15 reposts 63 likes

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Actias Luna's avatar Actias Luna @actiasluna5.bsky.social
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Skinny dip anyone? Shouldn’t be too many sharks…

5 replies 5 reposts 31 likes

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Tusk Jenkins 's avatar Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Anemone, as you know, means too many little hugs in a friendship is sneaky and carnivorous

5 replies 32 reposts 50 likes

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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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happy birthday, Bruce Springsteen

3 replies 50 reposts 165 likes

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Frances Meh's avatar Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
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this is my fav track off nebraska

1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes

Salty MacTavish's avatar Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social
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Uncle Chuck is a Vietnam vet who worked at the town dump for 30 yrs. He has a heart of gold, will help anyone, and hates Trump with a passion. His son also works for the DPW, is a good kid, and supports 45. We want stories to wrap up nice and tidy but they mostly don’t

1 replies 10 reposts 35 likes

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Vin's avatar Vin @vinnyvinvin.bsky.social
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Saw a small patch of these false sunflowers during a long walk in Frick Park today. Can't depict it here, but the breeze made the petals flutter nicely. 🌱

0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes

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Lord Rat Squirt's avatar Lord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt.bsky.social
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It's Independence Day, Mr. President, not in Depends® day, sir. Quick! Someone stop him before he gets to the Rose Garden!!!

0 replies 2 reposts 5 likes