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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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i can never quite tell when they’re ripe
1 replies 20 reposts 66 likes
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Uncle Duke@uncleduke1969.bsky.social |
3228 followers 385 following 1197 posts
Does this look infected?
Just My Nonsense:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
i can never quite tell when they’re ripe
1 replies 20 reposts 66 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A big THANK YOU to @nicebutnot.bsky.social for the pick! Sincerely appreciated. I've also asked the ladies to acknowledge you in the encore.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Favskeet
@favskeet.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This post by @uncleduke1969.bsky.social was so good, @nicebutnot.bsky.social thought everyone should know! Go show them and their post some love!
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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"Alright, places ladies, places. Annemarie, Suzanne, you two are in the first number. Suzanne, how about you try not to fall on your face this time? Lorraine, go see Todd in makeup, you look like a clown. And Nancy, for chrissakes, put on some underwear."
5 replies 34 reposts 116 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
on the next episode of copse
10 replies 38 reposts 150 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“You drive, I’m tired.”
4 replies 22 reposts 99 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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“You should have taken Sycamore.” “Thank you, Captain Mapquest! Next time, maybe you can drive, and I can lay in the back seat, lick myself, and fart for an hour and a half.” “Geez Dave, I was just sayin’.” “I’m sorry, Gus. I just really have to pee.”
0 replies 19 reposts 54 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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“Supercuts?” “How’d ya know?”
0 replies 23 reposts 77 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
omg how do they know
4 replies 39 reposts 140 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Heckling the flight attendant during the oxygen mask demo
7 replies 47 reposts 127 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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I highly recommend setting up a Google Alert for your own name so you can see what you are up to in alternate universes and timelines
7 replies 18 reposts 71 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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guy who discovered fire: ow fuck ow
1 replies 39 reposts 131 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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[first date] Me: So what do you do? Her: I sell photos of my feet online. Me: Feet? No thanks. I’m a metric guy.
2 replies 32 reposts 77 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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the heads of my ENEMIES
17 replies 106 reposts 506 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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My chess strategy? Eating one of your pieces every time you look away
7 replies 47 reposts 140 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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and when there was only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that i carried you, you stupid dog. he hates the beach, is what im saying 🙄
2 replies 16 reposts 87 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I gave the word “covfefe” as my name at Starbucks and I saw all of the employees spit into my latte
22 replies 43 reposts 419 likes
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Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
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Who up and realizing your scooter gang meant 10 AM NOT PM
0 replies 26 reposts 53 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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I’ll take you all to dinner and pay with my discover card. I discovered it in some other guy’s wallet.
1 replies 23 reposts 51 likes
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bacon popsicle 🫀
@gupton68.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When she says she likes being surprised in the bedroom, she doesn’t mean by finding you there with her mother and sister. I know this now.
3 replies 29 reposts 49 likes
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bacon popsicle 🫀
@gupton68.bsky.social
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Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains. Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
4 replies 61 reposts 156 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Do you ever think about how the Amish are out there building a barn with their bare hands and you’re too tired to put on pants
21 replies 57 reposts 230 likes
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Christina, mother of spiders
@aikiwomannc.bsky.social
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*flashlight under chin* He heard the scream and found her unconscious with the letter still in her hand. He picked up the letter and fell to his knees. It said, "The 4th grade class invites you to it's annual recorder recital on the 25th."
0 replies 15 reposts 59 likes
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
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This day in history. 1925. Guru Meher Baba began 44 years of silence during which he communicated solely by means of a squeaky rubber ducky.
2 replies 21 reposts 43 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Whenever I hear someone say “Vengeance is mine” I think “How selfish. Vengeance belongs to all of us.”
2 replies 59 reposts 141 likes
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amy🧘♀️
@melatonin.bsky.social
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i didnt really understand frozen pizza before today but i get it now like its way too hot out for normal pizza
3 replies 25 reposts 137 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
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Missed Connection: I was making doves cry. You were listening to what it sounds like.
5 replies 26 reposts 122 likes
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Jeffw
@jeffw.bsky.social
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Hi guys!
I'm trying to sort myself out, do you think you could help?
If you are willing and can of course, help me raise £2200 to support Jeffw (me) and my small business
Please #donate and RT. Thanks!
www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding...
And hopefully, I'll never have to do this again 😀
0 replies 8 reposts 4 likes
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kim
@kimmymonte.bsky.social
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demi lovato is short for demilitarized love potato
19 replies 143 reposts 570 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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Sorry I was late I was frantically applying to other jobs
4 replies 50 reposts 206 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
bad puns are evergreen
1 replies 0 reposts 15 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
on the next episode of copse
10 replies 38 reposts 150 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I make puns where others fear to tread.
2 replies 0 reposts 19 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“You drive, I’m tired.”
4 replies 22 reposts 99 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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You’re probably feeling pretty stupid right now.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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The Dominos pizza tracker is just making these names up. No one named Don Giovanni is quality checking my cheese pizza
18 replies 68 reposts 397 likes
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Swim Jeans 👖
@shortsleevesuit.bsky.social
[ View ] |
MECHANIC: *presses finger to my lips* wait did you just call it a cat’ll lick it converter
1 replies 25 reposts 62 likes
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Crockett Houghton
@crockettforreal.bsky.social
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They say that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but I disagree, like, what if there's a spider?
4 replies 7 reposts 45 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Gentlemen, it is with deepest regret I must inform you that I am straight up not having a good time
6 replies 86 reposts 297 likes
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donni saphire
@donni.bsky.social
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Sure, I solemnly swear, but I also do some silly ones
0 replies 24 reposts 87 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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got too much baby oil between my buttcheeks walking down stairs feels like i don’t have brakes
15 replies 76 reposts 283 likes
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bacon popsicle 🫀
@gupton68.bsky.social
[ View ] |
me: I try to live well and maintain a healthy, balanced diet also me: *swipes right on a bucket of fried chicken*
2 replies 28 reposts 87 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Her: Your life just doesn’t seem to have a direction. Me: “Down” is a direction, Brenda.
1 replies 65 reposts 180 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
[ View ] |
We didn’t have group text when I was a kid. The way we located each other was by finding the neighborhood house that had the pile of bikes strewn across the front lawn.
1 replies 24 reposts 65 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
[ View ] |
These new pants are great I feel like I could get a lot of karate done in these.
2 replies 26 reposts 67 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
[ View ] |
every punk is a steampunk when its hot outside you idiot you stupid fucking idiot
2 replies 51 reposts 174 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
[ View ] |
oh mute button how i love you so
8 replies 60 reposts 215 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Men in Black containment crew but for when I’ve lost my shit in public
6 replies 42 reposts 82 likes
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Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Therapy 50% complete. I love myself. But I'm not "in love" with myself.
0 replies 16 reposts 55 likes