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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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When I die I don't want anyone to talk about what killed me. Please list all the incredibly stupid things that I survived
12 replies 106 reposts 324 likes
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Theciscokidder@theciscokidder.bsky.social |
1429 followers 1309 following 3540 posts
Stay home dad. Left af. Just here for the funny.
My posts bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaaczmcypwicq
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When I die I don't want anyone to talk about what killed me. Please list all the incredibly stupid things that I survived
12 replies 106 reposts 324 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Hiring a bunch of mob guys to follow me around and say, “OH!” every time I make a cute little joke.
12 replies 27 reposts 77 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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My therapist says I can’t duel anymore. She thinks Mr Cannoli is one of my alter egos and I’m starting to believe it too
3 replies 22 reposts 66 likes
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Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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Which one of you fuckers taped over my vhs copy of the “Who’s the Boss?” series finale?
2 replies 16 reposts 38 likes
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PieGuy
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
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I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbours loud motorcycle tomorrow morning
5 replies 46 reposts 244 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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*Gain Flings voice* Wanna ride in my van? Don't mind the bleach smell, I just cleaned it.
0 replies 11 reposts 13 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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Us old guys have deeper pockets if we played our cards right 😂
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yep, that too!
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They're open purely for Bluesky posting material!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I guess I feel special then 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Lizzy 💫
@stonedeva.bsky.social
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Just noticed my vehicle registration sticker is crooked. Guess I'll be ubering from now on
1 replies 19 reposts 46 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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I say hi and they say bye
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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It's worth it for the screenshots 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
🤨😆
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*Gain Flings voice* Wanna see my basement?
0 replies 10 reposts 14 likes
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Wilbur72
@wilbur72.bsky.social
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What has 75 balls and gets old women excited? A Bingo machine
3 replies 19 reposts 30 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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The bigger the bird, the bigger the poop on your windshield
4 replies 17 reposts 51 likes
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Hyde
@hyde85.bsky.social
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I don't know why you need to hear this but raccoons can't own samurai swords in most states.
4 replies 16 reposts 43 likes
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Deeks 🫶
@deeks549.bsky.social
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Quit airing other peoples business. Life is fuckin hard. Go help them or shut the fuck up
8 replies 38 reposts 79 likes
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Molly
@bettyriot.bsky.social
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I can still drop it like it’s hot but I’m going to need a second to get back up
4 replies 34 reposts 120 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Nine Inch Nails would be an awesome name for a Christian rock band.
13 replies 37 reposts 253 likes
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Ash
@ashhull.bsky.social
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We don’t use the word bombastic enough.
8 replies 19 reposts 41 likes
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Marc
@runoldman.bsky.social
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I know I'm totally fucked up, but at least I can fucking laugh at myself.
1 replies 30 reposts 43 likes
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bacon popsicle 🫀
@gupton68.bsky.social
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I suffer extreme fear of failure. Given my poor lifestyle choices heart failure tops the list but liver and renal are pretty high up there, too.
4 replies 22 reposts 58 likes
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Astr0z0mbreez
@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social
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Walkin past a Planet Fitness yelling through the window, “My Dad has bigger muscles than all of you w out even trying!”
0 replies 9 reposts 19 likes
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RainDro
@raindro369.bsky.social
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I’m a slut for engagement
0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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La Captain Oblivious
@whatthefoxy.bsky.social
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Hello. I’m heading over to be weird with you.
16 replies 41 reposts 113 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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Nothing more sus than an "attractive" "young" "female" sliding into your dm's with "hi"
6 replies 14 reposts 40 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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sorry i asked if the photo of your kid was “that fucked up AI stuff”
18 replies 195 reposts 767 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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My legal advice is to go to prison
6 replies 25 reposts 81 likes
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AllTimeAss
@maxhyde.bsky.social
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People are fucking great at avoiding truths they don't fucking like
1 replies 14 reposts 24 likes
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BEAVE ²
@beaveinflow.bsky.social
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I never feed my ego after midnight.
0 replies 26 reposts 61 likes
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Pot Shop Boy
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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a porn streaming site called Nutflix is this a thing
9 replies 38 reposts 93 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Sorry your boyfriend thinks the clitoris is the chamber in which a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.
12 replies 56 reposts 165 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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hello? i need someone to fact check a joke?
22 replies 73 reposts 186 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
guy who puts change in the Coinstar machine one coin at a time yelling, "You can take that to the bank!"
4 replies 73 reposts 210 likes
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turbo jerry
@turbojerry.bsky.social
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the recurring intrusive thought that i might get tourette syndrome for the first time at work & tell my boss to fuck off during the big meeting
6 replies 16 reposts 66 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Mike’s hard Diophantine equation
2 replies 18 reposts 37 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I base their tip on how gently the waitstaff wakes me when the food arrives
3 replies 39 reposts 82 likes
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Jay
@jaycubed2k.bsky.social
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Me at 15: When I'm older I'll have enough to get a DeLorean Me, older: do I have enough for name brand boxed mac and cheese this week?
7 replies 39 reposts 299 likes
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5oclockeveryday
@5oclockeveryday.bsky.social
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Is there any greater betrayal felt than that of dogs offered celery when the rotisserie chicken bag is RIGHT THERE?
0 replies 7 reposts 17 likes
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andy van slyke
@im-all-id.bsky.social
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My job's cybersecurity training said to "never assume a connection is real" and I was like I'm WAY ahead of you, pal
5 replies 50 reposts 201 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
[ View ] |
😂
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Godzilla Minus One is about when he invited me to be his guest at his sister’s wedding and then ghosted me.
0 replies 4 reposts 18 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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My chess strategy? Eating one of your pieces every time you look away
7 replies 47 reposts 139 likes
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James Damron
@runswindows95.bsky.social
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Long story short,the love of my life lives in Constantinople, but I can only get flights to Istanbul.
1 replies 5 reposts 21 likes
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gas statіon dream gіrl
@cheygoulet.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I don’t care how sad I get I will never get bangs, and I live by that.
4 replies 18 reposts 63 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Omg you guys, I found him! Does anyone need anything?
14 replies 19 reposts 65 likes