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Functionally Feral@feralferrell.bsky.social |
501 followers 435 following 263 posts
I put the fun in functional, or something. [remaining profile description redacted]
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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It's so cool when you realize that two people aren't just banging but that they are actually in love, whether it's on a show or in a movie or friends or yourself
1 replies 19 reposts 50 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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i’m sorry my words accurately reflected my feelings
0 replies 49 reposts 130 likes
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Rob Cee
@robcee.bsky.social
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Forget it, Jake. It's poundtown.
0 replies 10 reposts 24 likes
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Jonely Bonely
@gojirademonstah.bsky.social
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“I’m still punk AF” I whisper while digitally signing my company’s HR manual compliance agreement form.
1 replies 16 reposts 49 likes
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Pot Shop Boy
@potshopboy.bsky.social
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I think the ghosts of ninjas haunt my place. I never hear anything creepy.
0 replies 20 reposts 38 likes
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bacon popsicle 🐻❄️🪩
@gupton68.bsky.social
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I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. It’s not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
6 replies 277 reposts 863 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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Steinbeck: Furious Pears? Publisher: Meh Steinbeck: Miffed Mangos? Publisher: Too Stan Lee Steinbeck: Irate Tomatoes? Publisher: Are those even fruit? Steinbeck: Technically Publisher: Still no Steinbeck: The… Grapes of Wrath! Publisher: … Steinbeck: … Publisher: *finger guns*
3 replies 36 reposts 87 likes
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Functionally Feral
@feralferrell.bsky.social
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See something, say something? Bro. I’m just talking, see for yourself.
0 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Functionally Feral
@feralferrell.bsky.social
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My dad is a teacher and once when my sibling fell asleep in class my dad threw a basketball at their head, but sure, give teachers guns.
0 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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geeky steven
@geekysteven.bsky.social
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Fight Club, but the second personality is just a guy who loves fun facts about animals "Snakes are technically a type of lizard. I know this because Tyler knows this"
1 replies 19 reposts 75 likes
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CrazyMyra
@outonthemoors.bsky.social
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No swag
3 replies 23 reposts 79 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Easter would be a lot cooler if that bunny brought mashed potatoes and gravy.
5 replies 53 reposts 97 likes
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snargleplax
@snargleplax.bsky.social
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dentist: okay now we need to dilate your teeth
2 replies 15 reposts 52 likes
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StefanThinks
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
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Goodbye, cruel world. Hello, cruel internet.
2 replies 28 reposts 56 likes
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𝓦𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝓖𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔫
@wickedgarden.bsky.social
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Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, and a pack of Marlboro Red's rolled up in your white t-shirt sleeve or is it 1995?
0 replies 5 reposts 7 likes
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J. Michael Mull
@jmichaelmull.bsky.social
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a bar called Pour Decisions
1 replies 11 reposts 31 likes
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Megan Joy
@megan.bsky.social
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Accidentally liked a post on instagram, so of course I’m sitting here now dying.
2 replies 4 reposts 11 likes
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Benny 'Ol Dirty' Rollins 🏴☠️
@bennyrollins.bsky.social
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You don't have to take blonde haired men seriously.
4 replies 13 reposts 26 likes
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Anastasia MacKenzie
@theanastasia.bsky.social
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She’s a 10 but she wakes me up in the middle of the night to ask for food. She’s a cat.
0 replies 14 reposts 49 likes
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Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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Wheel me over to the color tv. I understand there’s grape-nut pudding tonight!
1 replies 14 reposts 44 likes
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born miserable
@bornmiserable.bsky.social
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I don’t hold grudges; my grudges hold me
0 replies 24 reposts 44 likes
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Bliss
@blisskissed.bsky.social
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Parkour around the dollar tree and chill?
0 replies 10 reposts 20 likes
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Staff Chief of Joints
@etrain.bsky.social
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When they said this house had an open floor plan, I was envisioning several pits I could trap people in.
1 replies 21 reposts 37 likes
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil
@thealexnevil.bsky.social
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*Dog pees lifting left leg when it’s usually his right Me: Hey! You’re ambilegstrous! Dog: Seriously, Man, you worry me.
3 replies 17 reposts 41 likes
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Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
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woman takes two big cobs while husband watches
7 replies 42 reposts 175 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Mrs. Houdini: I’m pregnant, darling. Mr. Houdini: But…the condoms…how? - 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺’𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘦
0 replies 20 reposts 45 likes
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Matty
@bestestname.bsky.social
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My dog thinks I'm a personal assistant
1 replies 17 reposts 43 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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*cocks gun* bring me the eclipse
1 replies 22 reposts 34 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Cinnabon could really change the game if they started making their own insulin.
6 replies 47 reposts 146 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Punch me in the face and call me your pretty princess.
2 replies 30 reposts 49 likes
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Violetmusing🧚🏼♀️
@violetmusing.bsky.social
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Awww, you're going on a vacation? That's cute. I have tomorrow and next Wednesday off.
3 replies 8 reposts 23 likes
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Pixels Puddlefen
@pixelthegnome.bsky.social
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they really need to add gifs here
1 replies 3 reposts 10 likes
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Functionally Feral
@feralferrell.bsky.social
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2
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
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What's your late winter look? 1. gloomy sweater witch 2. wistful library ghost 3. Muppet of ill repute 4. frazzled mossy shape
5 replies 5 reposts 22 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
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I’d love to go to Norway but I simply cannot affjord it.
3 replies 42 reposts 100 likes
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gas statіon dream gіrl
@cheygoulet.bsky.social
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True life: I think I ate too much cheese.
6 replies 30 reposts 83 likes
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Hush Jared
@hushjared.bsky.social
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Bustin nuts all over my Alabama income tax form to prove my claim of 70 million dependents
2 replies 25 reposts 69 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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The dentist says red wine is not a suitable mouthwash, but honestly, who can trust a pawn of Big Dental?
3 replies 18 reposts 37 likes
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Functionally Feral
@feralferrell.bsky.social
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You are wiser than I.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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Shoot for the moon, then propel the wreckage towards the surface from orbit and the devastation will distract their defenses to cover our landed assault
1 replies 15 reposts 28 likes
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Jon Bois
@jonbois.bsky.social
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i loved reacher. picked up right where reach left off and the ending builds up plenty of excitement for reachest
21 replies 23 reposts 380 likes
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Functionally Feral
@feralferrell.bsky.social
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I experience extreme sensory overload: trust and believe that if I have ever liked a video from you that does not have closed captions, I have liked it in good faith and have no idea what it’s about. Similarly, if I have sent you a video, the sound is not a factor in why I have recommended it.
2 replies 4 reposts 12 likes
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born miserable
@bornmiserable.bsky.social
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Squid Game, except the contestants are racists, transphobes, bigots, anti-vaxxers, misogynists, child molesters, incels, anti-abortion supporters, Nazis, conspiracy theorists, and billionaires and every single one of them is dead at the end of the game
10 replies 28 reposts 143 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Saw a truck with “J&K Welding” on the side but I thought it said “Wedding” and then it occurred to me that a wedding is just a kind of welding of people.
8 replies 40 reposts 158 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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I think about that 2017 Emirates flight with all the falcons sitting on tray tables in the main cabin all the time. That's my Roman Empire
1 replies 11 reposts 36 likes
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Minister of Loneliness
@steamymac.bsky.social
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Check out my new lifestyle blog, Life, and How to Ruin It.
4 replies 42 reposts 65 likes
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Coach Rusty
@coachrusty.bsky.social
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My resolution to scream “STOP THINKING YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME” at cyclists is already going great
2 replies 26 reposts 66 likes