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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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knife in my teeth climbing up the troposphere to the heart of the stormcloud
0 replies 15 reposts 29 likes
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Saeg Flowers@onebeanburrito.bsky.social |
989 followers 1075 following 1958 posts
Probably chilling 50 yrs ago or 50 yrs from now. When are we?
(he/him)
More: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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knife in my teeth climbing up the troposphere to the heart of the stormcloud
0 replies 15 reposts 29 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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joke tourniquets as a bit for bitten off pieces of pride that puddle in can you clot the embarrassment deals broken in two new places last by a long shot but why not just walk it off the lot with the best of em in a laugh now cry later economy
1 replies 27 reposts 43 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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i'm a duck amuck stuck in rewriting of my character have you seen the rest of me do you know if she's clinging to erased holes in a page fallen in while swearing they weren't there you know i hate to bug but would it be too much to ask for you to draw me a safe way out of here one more time in color
3 replies 30 reposts 59 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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if you are every x in a graph of tragedy are you a variable plot of destruction you contain both points you're a linear problem can they find a solution in time to intercept the line before over and over you're a decimal thought stuck repeating over and over and over a dial tone of mental math
6 replies 34 reposts 53 likes
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Puck
@puckbethy.bsky.social
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0 replies 7 reposts 79 likes
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Emily Gorcenski
@emily.gorcen.ski
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Oh, you are "holding space" are you? You think you are holding space? You fool. You are not. Space is expanding eternally, it will always escape your futile grasp, outrace any boundaries you try to impose on it. Your hubris betrays your ignorance. You cannot hold space. Space holds you.
5 replies 27 reposts 146 likes
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Deeks 🫶
@deeks549.bsky.social
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*Sun in my eyes driving in traffic - Fuckin piece of shit sun
3 replies 23 reposts 89 likes
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Normal Pru
@prufrockluvsong.bsky.social
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Life is like a box of chocolates (the whole thing will make you sick)
3 replies 32 reposts 93 likes
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James
@overlooked237.bsky.social
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This JCPenney just closed down while the lady in front of me was writing a check
4 replies 15 reposts 60 likes
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
@patnspankme.bsky.social
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Lou Ferrigno missed an opportunity when he was playing the role of the Hulk because he could have doubled down while he was green and also played the Grinch Who Swole Christmas. *deletes account*
4 replies 32 reposts 108 likes
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Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
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If you're feeling insignificant or feeling small, just remember that there's a universe inside every raindrop, and to them you're an enormous scary giant. Take comfort in that.
0 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
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Rev. Dr. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
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If you stab me in the back, do it to my face I said while I slipped on the chips that fell where they may.
1 replies 26 reposts 43 likes
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Chaotic Moon
@chaoticmoon.bsky.social
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My depression engine just ran out of gas, so it’s time to use the depression paddle. *dipping noises*
2 replies 8 reposts 24 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Enjoying a bite out of every ominous message from the great beyond it's a smorgasouija
2 replies 40 reposts 54 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Tempting the naked blades of the fan with my face.
2 replies 37 reposts 66 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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No joke here (sorry): Homelessness in Finland is very low because they provide small apartments and mental health support without any conditions attached to it. 80% of those who use it get jobs , gain stable housing, and sobriety But thanks for the plastic trash can in NYC, Mayor Adams
26 replies 379 reposts 1214 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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I’m Dr Sweetie Pi the monsters are my children
3 replies 26 reposts 57 likes
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Corduroy Cheddar
@corduroycheddar.bsky.social
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An insomnialier who recommends the perfect worries for keeping you up at night
1 replies 29 reposts 75 likes
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Chestbursty
@chestrovert.bsky.social
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More like How in the Heck is Carmen Sandiego, c'mon bring it in, girl
2 replies 17 reposts 42 likes
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lalalyds
@lalalyds.bsky.social
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Can I come over and lay on your kitchen floor?
11 replies 34 reposts 83 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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walking in the door kiki gets a sharp look from bouba bc she's never around
0 replies 5 reposts 9 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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thnk u lol wear a mask around here plz
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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no
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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careful, it's contagious
2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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are you making my joke at me on my post?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
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I couldn't remember the word dishwasher so I called it a wet oven.
17 replies 78 reposts 246 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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It was on this very horror a hundred years ago that I picked up some lost highway townsfolk said was just me being reincarnated from a feel good sprinkler runoff of the summer
1 replies 32 reposts 42 likes
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Ennui Doofen
@ennuidoofen.bsky.social
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men's soap? is using a forest scented soap gonna burn my tits off or what
37 replies 87 reposts 296 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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training a champion lineup starts with cleaning the shit and piss from inside their poké balls
0 replies 17 reposts 25 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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Raccoons got in the office last night. They found Cindy's ketchup packets, did a number on Evan's desk, and everywhere there is carnage. Still, there is no doubt now that they can work wonders with a spreadsheet. The company's been threatening a restructure. We can all be replaced.
1 replies 36 reposts 113 likes
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chris.
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
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"I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK," I bellow at the frightened teenager pouring my milkshake.
1 replies 43 reposts 126 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Fortunes on kazoo paper, humming on cookies. "What. It's bring your parallel universe to leisure day."
1 replies 34 reposts 49 likes
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Tusk Jenkins
@tuskjenkins.bsky.social
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Anemone, as you know, means too many little hugs in a friendship is sneaky and carnivorous
5 replies 34 reposts 53 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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it became a popular and trendy thing to want to be an influenzar
1 replies 11 reposts 20 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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crack open a can of heat and instantly you know this boogie is for real
0 replies 9 reposts 18 likes
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mean things I say to myself
@meantomyself.bsky.social
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I have a night to myself, should I get dressed up* and go to the clurb**? *put on pajamas and a face mask **bed
3 replies 14 reposts 81 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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they way light mode shines on your maniacal face in the dark
4 replies 57 reposts 135 likes
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Travis, bluesky elder
@prof-hinkley.bsky.social
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An 1800s pioneer woman could kill me with one punch
3 replies 32 reposts 141 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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i can't help but think
0 replies 14 reposts 24 likes
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Jason, ex Inferis
@benedictsred.bsky.social
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Might just fuck around and admit there are worse things than being alone, but it often takes decades to realize this, and most often when you do, it's too late. And there's nothing worse than too late.
6 replies 28 reposts 78 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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The mosh pits used to go absolutely nuclear for this one
youtu.be/HoWwlWPmlbY?...
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Tamper Proof Lid
@readuction.bsky.social
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Dropping a car battery on my foot would hurt my foot
1 replies 3 reposts 21 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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i don't want to be told i'm funny i want to be asked if i'm ok
1 replies 18 reposts 34 likes
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One Dog’s Opinion 🐾
@onedogsopinion.bsky.social
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when I say “the other day” it might be 1998 who even knows
5 replies 35 reposts 120 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Okay, now explain it to me again as though I’m a theoretical physicist
7 replies 58 reposts 146 likes
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Amy A
@lolennui.bsky.social
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Using “DEI” as pejorative is just the newest work-safe slur replacement for bigots to use to get off on the privilege of fake plausible deniability, tale as old as time
12 replies 126 reposts 833 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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shooting diced onion no chaser
0 replies 10 reposts 23 likes
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Raquel Squelch
@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
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see thru mine to why it can't be what I want for you this strange air it's hard to tell you'll have hell to prove to these phonies in your dream it's all real it's meaningful you're worth something beautiful but I can't give you what you have already like you can't give me what I gave up to be here
1 replies 33 reposts 45 likes
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Saeg Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
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*pours champagne in trophy, offers you first sip*
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sweetie π
@sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
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Benjamin is a domesticated feral cat and we all live in fear of his mighty wrath:
12 replies 46 reposts 442 likes