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Nappy Dolemite
@nappydolemite.bsky.social
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I'm doing the best I can and that's way less than I need to.
0 replies 10 reposts 16 likes
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hilyelo@hilyelo.bsky.social |
21 followers 10 following 116 posts
(hi-lie-low) boxd.it/58n0v
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Nappy Dolemite
@nappydolemite.bsky.social
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I'm doing the best I can and that's way less than I need to.
0 replies 10 reposts 16 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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[licks finger and raises it, eyes narrowed] I have no idea where my pants are.
2 replies 9 reposts 16 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
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The US should switch to Celsius to make it cooler at night
8 replies 25 reposts 76 likes
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smashley
@ashleyann.bsky.social
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i’m like if a phone was plugged into a charger that was not plugged into an outlet
0 replies 9 reposts 41 likes
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weeder
@weeder.bsky.social
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You gotta honk shua, sleep on that thang
0 replies 4 reposts 26 likes
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PAM!
@pamtoo.bsky.social
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How much cheese you gotta eat at 4 a.m. to banish bad dreams about your imaginary boyfriend?
1 replies 5 reposts 10 likes
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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff
@fulkery.bsky.social
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Did somebody already do the Hawk Tuah knuckle tats? I feel like I should have seen it by now.
1 replies 11 reposts 34 likes
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d.ly
@dly.bsky.social
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oh, that? it's just my lifetime REI Membership card 💅
7 replies 10 reposts 62 likes
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hilyelo
@hilyelo.bsky.social
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Life hack: eat liver before you drink so the alcohol doesn’t know which one to attack
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Pessimus Prime
@pessimusprime.bsky.social
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I bit a radioactive spider and now it's got human powers. It's crying
7 replies 71 reposts 276 likes
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Dropped Mike
@rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay
1 replies 102 reposts 581 likes
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Timothy
@herooftim.bsky.social
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Hi! Person you don’t know here, just wanted to say I read your post and it wasn’t inclusive of every single one of my life experiences so now I’m writing a thread about why you’re Hitler and why I hate you 🧵 (1/573)
1 replies 7 reposts 40 likes
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Dan Cerinthedark
@etbeeegood.bsky.social
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a fly just did a little back spin dance for me and made me feel special
0 replies 21 reposts 36 likes
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Matt Blank
@msbutah.bsky.social
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*youth pastor voice* "Yeah, I use ChatGPT, Chat with God in Prayer Time, to access the original AI, Angel Intelligence."
0 replies 19 reposts 69 likes
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Stella
@antlervel.vet
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Director yelling at extras:
1 replies 5 reposts 45 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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At my yearly physical: Me: (Takes out tampon) "Weigh me now"
4 replies 26 reposts 90 likes
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futurejeffrey🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
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telling my dog I have no more treats with hands open like a ball kid at Wimbledon
11 replies 30 reposts 158 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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the heads of my ENEMIES
17 replies 106 reposts 506 likes
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😍🇨🇦the great clown Fagliacci! lgbt+ culture twinks & daddies
@wadinom.bsky.social
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What if Jane's addiction was pez dispensers and we spent 30 years talking about music when really she was just an old lady that likes candy 🍬
2 replies 3 reposts 11 likes
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Rachel
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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My friends are like we haven’t heard from you. I’m like I just talk to people from Blue-sky now, I get all my socializing and conversations in online and don’t have to see people.
2 replies 10 reposts 44 likes
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BBKitty
@bbkbhv.bsky.social
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Mike called. He says he’s not hard and he wants you guys to stop it
3 replies 35 reposts 68 likes
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Holden vs The Internet
@holdendisperra.bsky.social
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Online bit idea: I put a baby in you
0 replies 4 reposts 5 likes
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Ashley Fairbanks
@ziibiing.com
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Do men know that women lust over forearms more than wieners?
40 replies 20 reposts 157 likes
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sandcrab
@sandcrab.bsky.social
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non-mutual seeing a retweet then deciding to enter the shop and peruse for a minute
3 replies 11 reposts 74 likes
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@electricchimp.bsky.social
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oligarchs finding excuses to shut down Cartoon Network for being too woke
0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes
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TaboobooSF™️
@tabooboosf.bsky.social
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1 replies 13 reposts 29 likes
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hilyelo
@hilyelo.bsky.social
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OH??? FRANCES THIS IS WONDERFUL
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Wicked Ho
@nicebutnot.bsky.social
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got too much baby oil between my buttcheeks walking down stairs feels like i don’t have brakes
15 replies 76 reposts 283 likes
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T
@mamafirefly.bsky.social
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Fuck you auto coriander
3 replies 33 reposts 114 likes
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hilyelo
@hilyelo.bsky.social
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Calmly thinking about sad things and crying into my teapot
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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“i have the newest covid variant” - me, FLiRTing
1 replies 21 reposts 44 likes
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Thunderous Prophet
@waltzingrhino.bsky.social
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I really think coroners ought to be able to cite "Stupidity" as a cause of death.
1 replies 4 reposts 6 likes
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Rogs 🤖
@stev.bsky.social
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I have a little shovel in case anyone needs to dig a small hole
4 replies 5 reposts 24 likes
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geoff goatman (worm balls)
@geoffgoatman.bsky.social
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you pathetic worms will never kill the kindness and compassion in my heart for everyone, even my enemies
0 replies 4 reposts 10 likes
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luke
@coolhand.bsky.social
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We only tell kids about the tooth fairy to distract from knowledge of the fairies who accept larger bones for greater rewards
19 replies 251 reposts 918 likes
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futurejeffrey🙋🏻♂️
@lacroixboi.lol
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I wish my waistline was thinning and not my hair
5 replies 20 reposts 61 likes
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑
@unfitz.bsky.social
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Her: Your life just doesn’t seem to have a direction. Me: “Down” is a direction, Brenda.
1 replies 65 reposts 180 likes
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mr. cannoli
@boner.ink
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i'm experiencing eggo death
6 replies 8 reposts 61 likes
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wonder jenny
@galacticpotlady.bsky.social
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*breaks into your house*: Why do you never favskeet me? Are u mad at me
1 replies 15 reposts 35 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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If you haven’t experienced the healing properties of Kimtamine, you are not entitled to get your time back, you foolish imbecile.
4 replies 15 reposts 40 likes
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hilyelo
@hilyelo.bsky.social
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Girl are you from Mississippi Cuz you’re the the only miss whose piss I sippie
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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found the only item i want from my fil’s estate
3 replies 6 reposts 48 likes
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Rogs 🤖
@stev.bsky.social
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I need a back rub
3 replies 6 reposts 19 likes
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The Matriculated Brick
@beeb33.bsky.social
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it was a pretty decent exposure, your honor
1 replies 3 reposts 12 likes
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SpatialKimtamine
@kimmalien.bsky.social
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You can block me but you will never feel safe again
6 replies 31 reposts 58 likes
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little lamb
@puddleofbrain.bsky.social
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you can solve 98% of your problems with optical illusions but the other 2% require violence
1 replies 6 reposts 45 likes
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hello kelsey
@oldkels.bsky.social
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every post is fiction and every moment of human connection is a performance lol
7 replies 6 reposts 33 likes
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filth_waste
@filth-waste.bsky.social
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if i unfollow you and immediately refollow it wasn't a mistake i am renewing my vows
1 replies 26 reposts 107 likes