hilyelo's avatar

hilyelo

@hilyelo.bsky.social

21 followers 10 following 116 posts

(hi-lie-low) boxd.it/58n0v


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Nappy Dolemite 's avatar Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social
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I'm doing the best I can and that's way less than I need to.

0 replies 10 reposts 16 likes


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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff's avatar Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff @fulkery.bsky.social
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[licks finger and raises it, eyes narrowed] I have no idea where my pants are.

2 replies 9 reposts 16 likes


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weeder's avatar weeder @weeder.bsky.social
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The US should switch to Celsius to make it cooler at night

8 replies 25 reposts 76 likes


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smashley's avatar smashley @ashleyann.bsky.social
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i’m like if a phone was plugged into a charger that was not plugged into an outlet

0 replies 9 reposts 41 likes


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weeder's avatar weeder @weeder.bsky.social
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You gotta honk shua, sleep on that thang

0 replies 4 reposts 26 likes


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PAM!'s avatar PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social
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How much cheese you gotta eat at 4 a.m. to banish bad dreams about your imaginary boyfriend?

1 replies 5 reposts 10 likes


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Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff's avatar Fulkery, A Thing Within Stuff @fulkery.bsky.social
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Did somebody already do the Hawk Tuah knuckle tats? I feel like I should have seen it by now.

1 replies 11 reposts 34 likes


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d.ly's avatar d.ly @dly.bsky.social
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oh, that? it's just my lifetime REI Membership card 💅

7 replies 10 reposts 62 likes


hilyelo's avatar hilyelo @hilyelo.bsky.social
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Life hack: eat liver before you drink so the alcohol doesn’t know which one to attack

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes


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Pessimus Prime 's avatar Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social
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I bit a radioactive spider and now it's got human powers. It's crying

7 replies 71 reposts 276 likes


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Dropped Mike's avatar Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social
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[first therapy session] me: *sobbing* I don’t think I can do this patient: it’ll be okay

1 replies 102 reposts 581 likes


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Timothy's avatar Timothy @herooftim.bsky.social
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Hi! Person you don’t know here, just wanted to say I read your post and it wasn’t inclusive of every single one of my life experiences so now I’m writing a thread about why you’re Hitler and why I hate you 🧵 (1/573)

1 replies 7 reposts 40 likes


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Dan Cerinthedark's avatar Dan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social
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a fly just did a little back spin dance for me and made me feel special

0 replies 21 reposts 36 likes


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Matt Blank's avatar Matt Blank @msbutah.bsky.social
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*youth pastor voice* "Yeah, I use ChatGPT, Chat with God in Prayer Time, to access the original AI, Angel Intelligence."

0 replies 19 reposts 69 likes


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Stella's avatar Stella @antlervel.vet
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Director yelling at extras:

1 replies 5 reposts 45 likes


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BBKitty 's avatar BBKitty @bbkbhv.bsky.social
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At my yearly physical: Me: (Takes out tampon) "Weigh me now"

4 replies 26 reposts 90 likes


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futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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telling my dog I have no more treats with hands open like a ball kid at Wimbledon

11 replies 30 reposts 158 likes


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😍🇨🇦the great clown Fagliacci! lgbt+ culture twinks & daddies 's avatar 😍🇨🇦the great clown Fagliacci! lgbt+ culture twinks & daddies @wadinom.bsky.social
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What if Jane's addiction was pez dispensers and we spent 30 years talking about music when really she was just an old lady that likes candy 🍬

2 replies 3 reposts 11 likes


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Rachel's avatar Rachel @slightlycaustic.bsky.social
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My friends are like we haven’t heard from you. I’m like I just talk to people from Blue-sky now, I get all my socializing and conversations in online and don’t have to see people.

2 replies 10 reposts 44 likes


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BBKitty 's avatar BBKitty @bbkbhv.bsky.social
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Mike called. He says he’s not hard and he wants you guys to stop it

3 replies 35 reposts 68 likes


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Ashley Fairbanks's avatar Ashley Fairbanks @ziibiing.com
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Do men know that women lust over forearms more than wieners?

40 replies 20 reposts 157 likes


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sandcrab's avatar sandcrab @sandcrab.bsky.social
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non-mutual seeing a retweet then deciding to enter the shop and peruse for a minute

3 replies 11 reposts 74 likes


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's avatar @electricchimp.bsky.social
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oligarchs finding excuses to shut down Cartoon Network for being too woke

0 replies 7 reposts 14 likes


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hilyelo's avatar hilyelo @hilyelo.bsky.social
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OH??? FRANCES THIS IS WONDERFUL

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes


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Wicked Ho's avatar Wicked Ho @nicebutnot.bsky.social
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got too much baby oil between my buttcheeks walking down stairs feels like i don’t have brakes

15 replies 76 reposts 283 likes


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hilyelo's avatar hilyelo @hilyelo.bsky.social
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Calmly thinking about sad things and crying into my teapot

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes


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's avatar @kattsdogma.bsky.social
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“i have the newest covid variant” - me, FLiRTing

1 replies 21 reposts 44 likes


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Thunderous Prophet's avatar Thunderous Prophet @waltzingrhino.bsky.social
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I really think coroners ought to be able to cite "Stupidity" as a cause of death.

1 replies 4 reposts 6 likes


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Rogs 🤖's avatar Rogs 🤖 @stev.bsky.social
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I have a little shovel in case anyone needs to dig a small hole

4 replies 5 reposts 24 likes


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geoff goatman (worm balls)'s avatar geoff goatman (worm balls) @geoffgoatman.bsky.social
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you pathetic worms will never kill the kindness and compassion in my heart for everyone, even my enemies

0 replies 4 reposts 10 likes


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luke's avatar luke @coolhand.bsky.social
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We only tell kids about the tooth fairy to distract from knowledge of the fairies who accept larger bones for greater rewards

19 replies 251 reposts 918 likes


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futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️'s avatar futurejeffrey🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.lol
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I wish my waistline was thinning and not my hair

5 replies 20 reposts 61 likes


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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑's avatar 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑 @unfitz.bsky.social
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Her: Your life just doesn’t seem to have a direction. Me: “Down” is a direction, Brenda.

1 replies 65 reposts 180 likes


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mr. cannoli's avatar mr. cannoli @boner.ink
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i'm experiencing eggo death

6 replies 8 reposts 61 likes


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wonder jenny 's avatar wonder jenny @galacticpotlady.bsky.social
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*breaks into your house*: Why do you never favskeet me? Are u mad at me

1 replies 15 reposts 35 likes


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SpatialKimtamine's avatar SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
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If you haven’t experienced the healing properties of Kimtamine, you are not entitled to get your time back, you foolish imbecile.

4 replies 15 reposts 40 likes


hilyelo's avatar hilyelo @hilyelo.bsky.social
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Girl are you from Mississippi Cuz you’re the the only miss whose piss I sippie

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes


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Frances Meh's avatar Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews
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found the only item i want from my fil’s estate

3 replies 6 reposts 48 likes


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Rogs 🤖's avatar Rogs 🤖 @stev.bsky.social
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I need a back rub

3 replies 6 reposts 19 likes


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The Matriculated Brick's avatar The Matriculated Brick @beeb33.bsky.social
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it was a pretty decent exposure, your honor

1 replies 3 reposts 12 likes


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SpatialKimtamine's avatar SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social
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You can block me but you will never feel safe again

6 replies 31 reposts 58 likes


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little lamb 's avatar little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social
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you can solve 98% of your problems with optical illusions but the other 2% require violence

1 replies 6 reposts 45 likes


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hello kelsey's avatar hello kelsey @oldkels.bsky.social
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every post is fiction and every moment of human connection is a performance lol

7 replies 6 reposts 33 likes


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filth_waste's avatar filth_waste @filth-waste.bsky.social
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if i unfollow you and immediately refollow it wasn't a mistake i am renewing my vows

1 replies 26 reposts 107 likes