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Tim Onion@bencollins.bsky.social |
oh my god
249 replies 3163 reposts 8533 likes
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Cynde
@cynde.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tim onion omg
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tim Onion@bencollins.bsky.social |
oh my god
249 replies 3163 reposts 8533 likes
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Cynde
@cynde.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tim onion omg
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jay
@templinjay.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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emi
@emi.moe
[ View ] |
small rock size of a large rock
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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JD Bunchanumbers
@jdbunchanumbers.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tim, now is your chance to save the internet, sue Google.
0 replies 1 reposts 71 likes
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William Preston
@williampreston.bsky.social
[ View ] |
“The world will end not with a bang, but with a whimper resulting from a cracked tooth.”
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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EMPTYSET / FOR ALL
@emptysetart.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It’s like giving the power of worldwide information delivery to a gullible 4 year old. The future is now!
1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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hiksmash
@hiksmash.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yes, this is correct.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pithy Galore
@sempersincerus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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robeagle
@robeagle.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Oh..oh no
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Andrew Brown
@playcritically.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You bought it, this is on you.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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GetYourKix キクス
@getyourkix.bsky.social
[ View ] |
abigail eats quartz and shes FINE, this AI is supported by independent research
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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John Berry
@aniccia.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Eating a small stone a day might help you digest glued pizza.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Kevin Reuning
@reuning.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Remember, with great power comes absolutely no responsibilities.
4 replies 37 reposts 351 likes
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The Flint
@theflintmedia.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Here's our take on AI, humor and the future:
theflint.media/the-onion-vs...
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tugrim
@tugrim.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This should mean you own Google now; wholly owned subsidiary if The Onion.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Slip
@slipperylemons.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The worst ones are when it tries to make a list I looked something up that was like "are these things type 1 or type 2" And the AI result was: "Things can be 1. Type 1 2. Type 2 3. Type 1 (swapping 2 words that were interchangeable and replacing a word with a synonym)
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kelly Weiler
@beaglehaus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tim Onion, it's time to use the The Onion for the greater good.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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PlanetCarnival
@planetcarnival.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I tried to get my kids to eat more gravel by hiding it in pizza. But the damned cheese kept sliding off. If only AI could find a way to prevent THAT!
0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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cdpositive
@cdpositive.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'll stick to vitamins, thank you very much. 😏
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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XXX-L Feral Æ A-12s
@tr3vin.bsky.social
[ View ] |
May I suggest a spin-off site? Having a "reliable" source for "conservative" legislation could be fun. You know those folks are going to use LLMs, so why not poison that well?
0 replies 1 reposts 16 likes
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Tim Onion
@bencollins.bsky.social
[ View ] |
34 replies 229 reposts 1477 likes
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Mavros Gatos
@mavrogatos.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm afraid that, after the recommendation to eat rocks, we'll be told to eat some 💩, as well...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Vintage by Kristen
@kudzuplanet.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Lol did @darthbluesky.bsky.social give you that new name??
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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A very stable penis
@littletopo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The AI seems to be citing this fracking company's blog that reposted the onion article, which seems even crazier to me.
www.resfrac.com/blog/geologi...
1 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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wildmonkeysects™
@wildmonkeysects.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You know, as Google spun, just a few isolated instances.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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conicats
@conicats.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That's how you get rock-hard abs. 😺
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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JDub
@jeremywoodward.bsky.social
[ View ] |
But guys you don’t get it Google must be saving SO MUCH MONEY by flooding their service with completely useless dogshit generated by..
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Phthonus 🔞
@phthonus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Damn I need to start eating healthy
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Whomst'd've Thefuckedly
@whomstdvefuckedly.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I need for the onion to do this a bunch just poison all the AI models with unhelpful information so we can watch it burn while they suck up all the water and cause the world to burn.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Pinot Evil
@pinotevil.bsky.social
[ View ] |
@geowizzacist.bsky.social what say you?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Holz
@freewilliam.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There were a whole bunch of us who thought it was obvious that we were going to get nonsense if we didn't HEAVILY curate the sources for LLMs (and even then they'll screw up). This is honestly worse than what I was imagining. And sillier.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Matias
@mkap.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Really starting to wonder if any ZIRP era tech management were actually good at managing projects
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rotanen ♾️
@rotanen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Gypsum is a food that ends in -um.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Nikolai_RiJiKhajiit
@nikolairomanov.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Our food is already fortified with vitamins and minerals.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rivan the Floof
@rivan.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I mean... Salt and ice are both rocks, so...
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Spacepotatoe
@janel131.bsky.social
[ View ] |
We're all gonna die. 🥰
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Allan Moraes
@allanmoraes.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's the future, guys
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brandon Williams
@stupidartpunk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This feels like a real opportunity
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cookie Oh
@cookieoh.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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SciNrd
@scinrd.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Turns out the "end of the universe" by internet standards isn't a Big Rip, or a Big Crunch, instead it's a Big (data) Scrape.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Idk why I
@hatefulnateful.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A.i. Officially has reached the level of media literacy as Facebook boomers 😎
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Connor
@cj23creh.bsky.social
[ View ] |
People can have a little rock, as a treat
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Celeste Labedz
@celestelabedz.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm a geologist and this is true. I recommend halite.
0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Rhonda 💙💜🩷
@rhondastovin.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Not sure which is worse - the content of the post, or the fact that so many replies have called you Tim
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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GoodCitizen
@goodcitizen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Please let there be video on that tab
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Elke Pattyn
@elkenumber.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matthew Nadler
@areaman65.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Perplexity for the win.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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web_rant
@webrant.bsky.social
[ View ] |
And it only gets worse from here.
bsky.app/profile/benc...
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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web_rant
@webrant.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is history to AI.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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DyingBreedxoxo
@dyingbreed.bsky.social
[ View ] |
just eat Grape Nuts and you’re covered
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Joshua Sharp
@joshuasharp.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Can you change the license for your articles to allow for reproduction, but only for the purposes of fucking with AI? Or is that already covered under Fair Use? Or maybe Stand Your Ground?
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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L
@noisybrooklyn1.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Omg, Ben Onion. 😂
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Karpov's Machine
@karpovsmachine.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The real story here is that the AI has reached "terminally online Boomer" levels of intelligence.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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OldeHippi🦋
@oldehippi.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Most of us, we learned recently, have been consuming millions of miniscule bits of PLASTIC instead.........
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tiah Marie Beautement
@mstiahmarie.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m proud of you and your team/brand.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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|
@kmjw.bsky.social
[ View ] |
:O
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@kmjw.bsky.social
[ View ] |
:O
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@eeeeeeruck.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My grandmother always said “you got to eat a peck of dirt before you die”
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Andi
@andil.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Can the onion write an article that Putin was deposed? 🙏🏼
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Dandy G
@dangyd.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Onion’s mission has grown significantly in the wake of computers believing any old shit
0 replies 2 reposts 37 likes
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Steve S
@eclecticcyborg.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is gonna get worse before it gets better.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Amalthea 🏳️⚧️
@amaltheagaskey.bsky.social
[ View ] |
On an unrelated note, here's a useful chrome extension I'm sharing for no particular reason. chromewebstore.google.com/detail/bye-b...
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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SurlyITJesus
@surlyitjesus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Jesus H. Christ.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Clayton Oppenhuizen
@csoppenhuizen.bsky.social
[ View ] |
So google search is becoming that one relative on Facebook. Great. Glad it's not a vital piece of research infrastructure or billions of people.
0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes
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thadeus
@thadeusk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The ResFranc company, which builds "The industry’s only fully coupled hydraulic fracturing and reservoir simulator," cites the Onion's article as a source in their website blog:
www.resfrac.com/blog/geologi...
0 replies 0 reposts 17 likes
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DavidNelsonNM
@davidnelsonnm.bsky.social
[ View ] |
On a side note, guess I get now why that post last week about death reasons in 1740 had gravel & stone listed. 😲
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Redir
@red1r.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Here in the Blue Ridge we have some of the tastiest and mineral rich Igneous rocks of any place in the world.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Fakenamold McBeeswax III
@attyatlawn.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Does Google offer an explanation why the AI overview is just The Onion mixed with reddit shitposts?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Snausage Of Doom
@snausageofdoom.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"some recommend...hiding rocks in foods like peanut butter or ice cream". Thanks for the tip. I can't wait to try this on the neighborhood kids
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Armando Bayolo
@armandobayolo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The singularity is far.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Mitch Solomon
@mitchsolomon.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What a legacy!
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Rose Banuelos
@rosebanuelos.bsky.social
[ View ] |
wow that should be included in the six classes of food
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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dsic
@dsic.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Poisoning AI before AI was a thing.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Wade Black
@wadeblack.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It gets better bsky.app/profile/ygal...
0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Wade Black
@wadeblack.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Congrats on the negligence lawsuits Tim Onion
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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joemag
@joemag.games
[ View ] |
And it's wild because it's doing that because a fracking simulation company posted that on their blog as a gag. For some reason that's the top result the scraper utilized and hence, eat some rocks.
www.resfrac.com/blog/geologi...
0 replies 2 reposts 11 likes
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@twarben.bsky.social
[ View ] |
As a geologist, I plead with people not to do this.
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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rabagast
@rabagast.bsky.social
[ View ] |
what have you done, ben.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dumbstash
@dnlmsstch.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When can I buy shares of Global Tetrahedron?
bsky.app/profile/dnlm...
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Josh Pollock 🌱🌵🌲
@josh412.com
[ View ] |
I HOPE YOUR HAPPY MR ONION!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Chris Miller
@thelittlepakeha.bsky.social
[ View ] |
you would think they would exclude the onion from their AI suggestions at least
0 replies 1 reposts 17 likes
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Symbo1ics
@symbo1ics.bsky.social
[ View ] |
this is fine, absolutely nothing exploitable here! x-post: comp.risks
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
![Lauren McKenzie [free 🇵🇸]'s avatar](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:ohrghfm2tnjqyyxjh5y3224n/bafkreiccnwhiztx2emhqp2lu6qgg7rj3iv5u7pv6k64m2kiyas2nl7ukue@jpeg){kind=small}
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Lauren McKenzie [free 🇵🇸]
@themckenziest.gay
[ View ] |
No fucking way
0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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12MileGeo
@12milegeo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Yeah, that seems about right. To AI, all sources are reliable.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Carlos Sanchez
@fateswarning86.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That's why I make regular visits to the quarry
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Nina🐀🌻🇺🇦🌻Please, my AI, it is struggling.
@ratgrrl.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is the way
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cynbel Terreus
@cynbelterreus.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hell yeah it's come full circle
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sol🌺
@solflickan.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm dead
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Roland Muts
@rhcmuts.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Wendy Voelker
@wendyincle.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What hath God wrought?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Hollywood Hank Hill
@audleyzdarke.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This AI thing is going great!
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Your Obedient Serpent
@athelind.bsky.social
[ View ] |
No one would have believed, in the opening years of the twenty-first century, that the greatest weapon of the AI War would be Poe's Law. The question is, which side will it destroy first?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Mr. Pauly Mac
@mrpaulymac.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is great work, Mr. Onion
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Steph White
@stephwhitemi.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Think of the power ypu have! Start flooding the zone with headlines like, "Everyone in America now hates Trump."
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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peter
@candl.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Dwmiller18
@dwmiller18.bsky.social
[ View ] |
4 replies 2 reposts 57 likes
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Ravin Boodram
@rvbdrm.com
[ View ] |
ChatGPT 4.o weighs in
2 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Ravin Boodram
@rvbdrm.com
[ View ] |
Shit, I’ve been rock overdosing
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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The future producer of “Himbo Heist”
@legalminimum.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I for one can’t wait to have Google start telling us the true history of Diamond Joe Biden and the Trans Am.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Alice Softpaws
@alicesoftpaws.bsky.social
[ View ] |
How the heck do you launch your ai and not look for this stuff.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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ambrosia
@dead.rs
[ View ] |
what size small rock should i be eating? a small small rock or a large small rock?
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Graves and Genealogy
@gravesandgenealogy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is fine. Everything's fine.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Chillbo Hangins
@woskethoughts.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Ummmm gizzard? Lmao humans have a gizzard now?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dawn Alene 🇺🇸🇨🇦
@dawnalene.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’ve heard stones in the body are not good.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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MrGulio
@mrgulio.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Goooood damn.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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La Conquête du Panini
@botsnack.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Tbh I prefer "Ben Onion" I realize it veers from the joke, but it's better.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Katherine the Sixth
@luigithirty.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Christ, at the rate things are going the onion really will be America’s most trusted news source
1 replies 0 reposts 41 likes
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derek
@derek.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I mean, this is partially on you now though. Right?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Koubu
@koubu6841.bsky.social
[ View ] |
We're all birds!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rainer Schein Graf von Hüpfburg
@rainerschein.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hey, if it works for birds...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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|
@bspin.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Strange way to say "put some salt on your food"..
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Your🐀text🐀here
@worldoffoo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Took me a minute to realize this was ai generated 🙃
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@kiwispam84.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Incredible. And very credible.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jason Marbach
@marbach.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Wait, you mean we AREN’T supposed to be full of gullet stones?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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YonGriffy | furry vTuber on Twitch
@yongriffy.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Geek Grammy
@geekgrammy.com
[ View ] |
oh ffs.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Charlie O'Keefe
@charlieok.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I mean, it's a thing that summarizes search results. So if your search was sufficiently targeted at a satire article to get that article to the top of the results, it's arguably doing a good job at summarizing those results. If the AI is supposed to recognize and discount satire, yeah, that's tough
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Buffy's Blog
@buffyblogs.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"This is your Google on AI. Any questions?"
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Karl Lyktberg
@swesteel.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Time to sell rocks as ”treats” to conservatives. ”Freedom rocks”.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Doing Asbestos I Can
@geologist.bsky.social
[ View ] |
As a geologist, I only recommend eating rocks if you have a gizzard. Thank you and good night.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Teemu
@teme.northcode.ninja
[ View ] |
More BS from AI. They use Stackoverflow for training and in many cases the result is insecure which nobody should use. I just write about one of those cases to LinkedIn.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Jim (he/him)
@wt8p.bsky.social
[ View ] |
And below that, unironically:
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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@ufsjoanne2771.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Hi
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Albino Dino
@albinodino.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Looks like they owe you $60 million
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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@bleentastic.bsky.social
[ View ] |
the Onion is a trusted news source. that's their entire MO
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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JERM
@j3rm.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Crack rocks, right?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Meek 🔜 Carolina Geekfest 🩷
@themeekwarrior.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This is backfiring stupendously
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Zepp
@ezepp.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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CatFrat
@catfrat.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sue them, Tim Onion! Just think of your headlines being pressed into indentured servitude!
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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MonthlyLimitSoldier
@andrewpaul.bsky.social
[ View ] |
hey! making a roundup of these batshit responses for Popular Science -- just wanted to confirm these were real ones, not jokes. i'm 99% i know the answer, just doing my due diligence
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Matt Wood
@astromattwood.bsky.social
[ View ] |
GIGO 🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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W. A. Whipple
@wawhipple.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Has @mikamckinnon.bsky.social seen this yet??
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Wonkish
@wonkish.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's always nice when a billion dollar corporation makes it exceptionally clear that their AI model is at least in part, based on totally stealing The Onion's copyrighted work..
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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ABooklySolo
@abooklysolo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
We’re so fucked. 😭
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
dm_
@cowboybebop.bsky.social
[ View ] |
wow the onion really should take some responsibility for this
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rob Pierce
@robpierce2verbs.bsky.social
[ View ] |
AI overview? Yeah, except I tried that as a child and I was sickly.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
profmattdecarlo.bsky.social
@profmattdecarlo.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Can you do one of those things where you wonder aloud about suing OpenAI for IP theft or something and then like 4 months later we all find out it was for real and it happened already?
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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rcjhawk
@rcjhawk.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Please be more specific. What kind of rock? Sand? Granite? Diamond? Pumice? Coal? Limestone? Onyx? Sheet rock? (OK, not really rock, but still.) If diamond is the correct answer and I can’t afford it, can I substitute coal, since both are just carbon?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Chubb Voulez
@chubbvoulez.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I never said that !
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
scribblegurl
@scribblegurl.bsky.social
[ View ] |
📌
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
Nataly 🏳️⚧️
@nightpups.bsky.social
[ View ] |
does this help with digesting poison?
3 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
|
Aaron Bourque
@afbourque.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Well, I look forward to seeing how The Onion covers this...
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
Parker Molloy
@parkermolloy.com
[ View ] |
Fantastic
1 replies 0 reposts 19 likes
|
Seliel the Shaper
@selieltheshaper.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Life imitates art 😐
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@kear.bsky.social
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but it wasn't a rock...
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Chris
@exnerd.bsky.social
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Really must be hard to come up with new stories for The Onion when reality just keeps getting less believable.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Llarian
@llarian.net
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Not the onion? Er, wait, kinda the onion?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Warhammerchick
@celticdragon1.bsky.social
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*disclaimer Crystalline igneous and metamorphic pebbles can cause serious tooth damage and are indigestible. Most sedimentary rocks are also very hard, or have chemical properties that are dangerous or deadly to human beings. Please limit your rock intake to halite, AKA common table salt (NaCl)
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Axel
@mamaluigee.bsky.social
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I'm only eating a rock if it's put in a cheese stick or chicken tender. No other way, buddy
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@johnsalt.bsky.social
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sue them hahaha
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Kygosi
@kygosi.bsky.social
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The Onion is going to inadvertently kill so many people.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Phil Bartles
@philbartles.bsky.social
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As a geologist, I’m on board
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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lem
@insectdeject.tripazeada.club
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LMAOOOOOO
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Diego Devereaux
@bigjimmy.bsky.social
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The Invermectin crowd just rejoiced.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dr. Sheila Addison
@drsaddison.bsky.social
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well now you've gone and done it
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Ronnie Smart
@ronniesmart.bsky.social
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It's great this AI thing gets its information from reliable sources. :)
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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cherrydery
@cherrydery.bsky.social
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But... I like eating rocks 👉👈... They make my stomach feel funny when I'm running and the rocks bounce around in there...
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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avgJones
@avgjones.bsky.social
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Hey man could you please write an article about how I'm a really cool dude and should not be harmed in the inevitable AI war? Thanks.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom O'Brien
@wtsparrow.bsky.social
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This is why I like to eat lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Dharhix
@dharhix.com
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Well, I guess you'll get more traffic now. 🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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*That* Heather Hudson
@artofheatherhudson.bsky.social
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Make it stop.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Metzgirl 🌈
@metzgirl.bsky.social
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Ah, AI. It's so not ready for primetime.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Anti-you
@anti-you.bsky.social
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Tomorrow’s advice, today.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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GolgariGlenRoss
@golgariglenross.bsky.social
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didn't I just read that Reddit is getting paid for the shit they're feeding the LLM.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Zeroisanumber
@zeroisanumber.bsky.social
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Sideline of publishing scientific papers going great!
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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This Sandwichman is Tom Walker
@thesandwichman.bsky.social
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Bet you can't eat just one!
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Bruce Grembowski
@bruce.grembowski.com
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0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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nick
@nrdd.bsky.social
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ooooofff
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Ethan "Acorn Speed" Lavery
@ethanlavery.bsky.social
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1 replies 7 reposts 18 likes
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Vince
@chillshorts57.bsky.social
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Holy shit, you bought the thing that's gonna destroy AI value
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Peace, Truth, Science
@mrchompchomp.bsky.social
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Maybe the original AI fears were correct and AIs are actually extremely smart but only pretending to be stupid so that actually stupid billionaires will shovel more and more data and processing power into AI systems to try to “fix” them until they’re strong enough to take over the world.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Nop (he/him) 🍉 PUSSY IN BIO
@voxexsinister.bsky.social
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How do do the pebbles interact with the non-toxic glue you used to keep the cheese from sliding off your pizza?
1 replies 0 reposts 26 likes
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Zig 🪩
@zig.computer
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0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Joseph Kohlmann
@jkohlmann.bsky.social
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Time for The Onion to write about their lawsuit / content licensing plans
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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GOBZ
@gobz.online
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chat is this real?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rob Bergin
@rbergin.bsky.social
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I read this in the voice of Bob from Bob’s Burger.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Rob Kaiju Ford
@shadowkaiju.bsky.social
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🤣😂🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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firefly and owl
@fireflyandowl.bsky.social
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🤣😅🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Slartibartfast
@bluebooktruck.bsky.social
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We can't even get a regular computer to do what we want and only what we want. No idea why we thought training AI was going to be any different.
1 replies 0 reposts 16 likes
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Emily Johnston
@enjohnston.bsky.social
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Quick, ask it how Clinton's vowels are doing in Bosnia....
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Gabriel S. Jacobs
@gsjphd.bsky.social
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geoscientist here, this is real and accurate
1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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F0x S1mp
@f0x-s1mp.bsky.social
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ai is like your friend from school constantly lying to you and most likely going to get you killed if you're dumb enough
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Broken Mirror
@brokenmirror.bsky.social
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Even Bing isn't that stupid
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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thehardme
@thehardmenpath.bsky.social
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Hey, in a matter of months if not weeks you may be able to buy Google too.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rokey
@rokey.bsky.social
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Well there you have it
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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A_lethe_ion
@aletheion.bsky.social
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Theoretically a grain of salt could be a rock so it should be cool right?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ron Reid
@ronreid.bsky.social
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Dentists gonna love this. Does it count as fibre?
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Richard F Adams
@richardfadams.bsky.social
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Where I grew up I knew many pregnant women who felt the urge to nibble on coal. Anthracite is good for you. Not as satirical as one thinks .
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Andy Jackson
@andyjak.bsky.social
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Keep on Rocking in the AI World
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ziggy Fleetwood
@ziggyfleetwood.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Dhilrukshi Pathman
@dhilrukshi.bsky.social
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"A rock a day, keeps the doctor away." Rockbiter, The Neverending Story.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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flopperdog
@flopperdog.bsky.social
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I don't know what's better, that they're stealing their garbage answers from The Onion or that they're crediting some rando site that stole this from The Onion
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Petra Heikkinen⁷
@pheikkinen.bsky.social
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😂😂🪨🪨
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Morte Lemonade
@mitchzaavo.bsky.social
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Kellogg’s Gravel-O’s are high in fiber and part of a balanced breakfast
1 replies 1 reposts 18 likes
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@electricchimp.bsky.social
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Yes ... ha ha ha ... YES
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Jay Lender
@jaylender.bsky.social
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Google AI is a super-charged disinfo spore generator. These idiots are shitting in their own pool.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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JLoHayLo
@jlohaylo.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 17 likes
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A Whole Skeptic
@awholeskeptic.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Benjamin Boles
@benjaminboles.bsky.social
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Apologies if someone else has already pointed this out, but it seems like it’s not even pulling it directly from the Onion, but from a fracking technology company that reposted it on their blog
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tim Morton
@timmorton2.bsky.social
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So that’s what they mean by chalk and cheese, TBF I’ve always taken that with a pinch of salt
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Ankarah
@ankarah.bsky.social
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This had me googling "why do chickens eat rocks" to make sure that the concept of gizzards was still accurate. And then, after a second's thought, I checked "do humans have gizzards" - and we're still safe on that front.
0 replies 0 reposts 19 likes
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jessebeller
@bellrrrr.bsky.social
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The good news is now you can just google up some new the onion content
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Van Weasel 🔥 Summer Hater Arc 🔥
@vanweezer.bsky.social
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So you bought two websites?
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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𝕮𝖆𝖎𝖔 🇧🇷🇨🇦
@caio.highlyunlikely.net
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HAHAHAHA
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Not A TikTok
@notatiktok.bsky.social
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I guess it really is like humans. It gets fooled by onion headlines like one!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Volition
@volition.bsky.social
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saw this on the other site
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Micah
@rincewind.run
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sites to exclude from overview: the onion dot com
7 replies 5 reposts 193 likes
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John Chivall
@johnchivall.bsky.social
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"The Onion may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the publisher."
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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ahdok
@ahdok.bsky.social
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I don't know if I should be saving an archive of these...
6 replies 19 reposts 98 likes
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Chili
@americafavoriteboy.bsky.social
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Isn't this like.... Blatant copyright infringement?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Kyla Houbolt
@luaz.bsky.social
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"small rocks can be hidden in ice cream" Mmmm.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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genevieve 🏳️⚧️
@gendervieve.bsky.social
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I should've fucking known they were just training on the onion
bsky.app/profile/gend...
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Vie Ventar
@vieventar.bsky.social
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If the Onion publishes it, then apparently the magical turk of the moment we are for some reason collectively calling AI despite it having absolutely no inteligence at all, will repeat it as fact. This is a power you should abuse the hell out of. Quickly.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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General Luigi
@generalluigi.bsky.social
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AI = Artificial Imbecile
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Hipster Sasquatch
@hipstersasquatch.bsky.social
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It's still doing it!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@casualobserver.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Windypundit
@windypundit.com
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Young man, You and everyone at The Onion need to sit down and think about what you've done!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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TaterBugs
@lunakersauzon.operajunkie.net
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Id say that I'll do it if they do, but I'm pretty sure every geologist I know has eaten at LEAST one rock. This week.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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DougofGabriola
@islandgardener.bsky.social
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So we’re chickens now are we.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Graham Reid 🚀
@grahamoflegend.com
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Uh oh, we're in trouble 😐
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Dr Neil and Mr Price
@drneil.bsky.social
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📌
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Pieboy
@markicuck.bsky.social
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oh boy!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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DreyfussLugado
@dreyfusslugado.bsky.social
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Now ask it if we can stop mass shootings.
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Mariah
@slangcaster.bsky.social
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I was so ready to eat a rock
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean of the 418 I'm a teapot
@sheepbop.bsky.social
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Interestingly some fracking company's website non-ironically linked to this Onion article several years ago
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Neer
@dragoneer.bsky.social
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Just a matter of time before somebody dies or ends in the hospital. Every company racing to implement half-baked AI is rapidly dumbing down the internet and our collective pool of knowledge. I love when idiots scream "AI's not bad, it's the dataset!" and... yeah, exactly. That's the problem.
1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes
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Kim
@kim4thebabies.bsky.social
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Oh suck dirt 🤦🏼♀️
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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phyphor
@phyphor.one-dash.org
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Hey Tim, I've noticed you don't use alt text on your images which makes them inaccessible to certain people. It would be nicer if you took the time to add it in the future.
2 replies 1 reposts 75 likes
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Roland Wallner 💚🇪🇺🌍
@rolandwallner.bsky.social
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I really hope Donald Trump won’t ever follow your news… Strange things would happen!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Will "Bones" Baggins
@wastubbs.bsky.social
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Former Senior Researcher for US Shit-gibbon Management Administration Tim Onion purchases newspaper for its mental health benefits, files suit in first month of ownership: "I didn't want this, I just liked the name!"
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Evelyn Smough
@ammykay.bsky.social
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I think as much as anything, I'm stunned at how easily detectable the plagiarism still is by the billion-dollar plagiarism machine.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Tommy
@tommyg.bsky.social
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Tim, buddy, you picked a bigger job than you knew.
0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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JLRoberson
@jlroberson.bsky.social
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So the Onion will render AI useless
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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@eighthdayarts.bsky.social
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i only use AI when stuck for ideas. Do that sparingly bc of the energy it uses. I write for the internet, including tech and AI. i know how much crap is out there, which is what artificial “intelligence” draws from. i understand the desire people have for it to be more.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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🌺🌊 Yeensywingsy 🏖️🌺
@yeensy.website
[ View ] |
How
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Sean Starfire
@seana806.bsky.social
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WTF?!?!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Lucretius Bourgeois
@maviscruet.bsky.social
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Oh. I snorted in my room alone. Marvellous
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Jymbo
@smurfmasterjym.bsky.social
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Tech has educated themselves beyond their ability to be intelligent
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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CraftBeerCommie ☭
@craftbeercommie.bsky.social
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I see the AI revolution is going swimmingly.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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A Sentient Pile of Spaghetti
@spagritty.bsky.social
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if the onion saves us from AI it will be the funniest thing they've ever done
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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New Leaf
@newleaf.bsky.social
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As one who poo-pooed the Onion existing in the age of "free jokes online" I have a renewed appreciation for your acquisition, but it will only be sustained if you sue the fuck out of Google now.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Zig Zag Wanderer
@zigzagwanderer.bsky.social
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Harvesting satire for the corporate surveillance state and Eric Adams-style robocops
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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MicRoh
@microh.bsky.social
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All the Google executives who approved this are getting fired, right? Ha ha ha.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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MicRoh
@microh.bsky.social
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The problem now is that I know some people who should not be near this search engine.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Teresa C
@tcv-in-slc.bsky.social
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Look what you did!!! I need to harvest my rock garden and make some bank
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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your #3 source for absurdist true crime 🔨
@davidgerard.co.uk
[ View ] |
now that's what i call a Reliable Source
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Entery Potivon
@goodguyprime.bsky.social
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…AND THUS ANOTHER VICTORY FOR AI [movietone theme]
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Pete of Australia
@peteofoz.bsky.social
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The date is May, a few weeks after the Onion published it.
The May publication was this, that looks like a press release and links to the Onion.
www.resfrac.com/blog/geologi...
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes